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2.6k · Apr 2014
the desires of the wanderer
I've always been a lost soul,
striving to find some piece of mind.

Only caring for the things that inspire me;
lighting up my fires and burning down in a flash.

I live for the rush of the moment,
I seek endless adventures and enjoy the sensations they give me.

I don't know what's good for me, darling
and the truth is *I don't wanna know.
2.5k · Oct 2014
The artist.
Your body is your canvas.
You never keep it safe,
you adorn it with scars
of lost loves, of lost dreams, of all your burnt-out stars.

Your lifestyle's your easel,
the only thing that keeps you high,
be it the days when you just can't stay still,
or those when you shatter and cry.

Your thoughts are acrylics,
shades of melancholy, maroon and black.
They characterize your essence,
all the hopes and falls you've stacked.

Your words are your brushes,
imagine how many stories they tell.
With every sigh you define
another line within your personal hell.

Do not lose your ambition, don't give up your health,
for you are not just an artist, you are art itself.
2.2k · Apr 2014
a choice
You can't control falling in love,
but you can control where you land.
1.8k · Apr 2014
irrational
You make me feel irrational,
yet I profoundly enjoy analyzing your temperament;
you inspire and fascinate me completely.

When your gaze wanders, I love the hellish feeling I get
because hell has that specific taste that makes your palms sweat;
much like watching you light up your cigarette.
Never change your attitude, darling, I love the way you drive me insane.

I **** time by keeping myself busy at night
wondering why would someone's lips want to touch such a fire as mine
if they hadn't wanted to be scorned by my desire
and to be left with the scars of my passionate motion.

Better stay away from me,
don't trigger something I can't tackle,
because I just want to be adored,
meaning I won't catch any hearts if they fall.
1.7k · Apr 2014
Untitled
It looks like no writer
can escape the clutches
of their true inspiration.
1.5k · Apr 2014
uncertainty
Mixed feelings are devouring me again,
either I'll grow to be insane or dispassionate.
Spill your thoughts onto me;
show me a glimpse of your universe.
Take a risk or walk away.
1.4k · Apr 2014
tired eyes
Take me wherever you go in your mind;
lead the way to the ****** up place
where your dreams rest
and your most passionate thoughts lay.

I understand you lust for powerful sensations
while I whisper poems to the evening winds;
Your melancholy is the reason
these tired eyes are kept awake, my love.
1.4k · Dec 2014
december
Clear winter skies,
cold December nights,
smoking on the floor,
dimmed orange lights.

The rhythm of the street,
the blankets and the sheets,
the color your hair,
the way I wouldn't dare (to speak).

Darling do you carry
the universe in your veins?
You're so overwhelming,
and I am so deranged.
1.3k · Jul 2015
love with an expiration date
Throw me out
like a mismatched puzzle piece,
like a speck of dust you dust off your shoulders.

Kick me out
like a bad taste in your mouth,
like a scratch you try to repaint over and over.

Leave me be
like a hunger you shut out,
like a flower that's dying because of the weather.

Leave me to die
like love with an expiration date,
like a smoldering cigarette ****,
like images that won't come together.
1.2k · Apr 2014
reckless soul
I don’t want to be loved,
I want to be thought about.

I don’t want someone to think I’m perfect,
I want someone to have an urge to discover every inch of my soul.

I want to be enigmatic,
not ideal.

I want someone to ask me witty questions,
not give me compliments.

All of you are looking for devotion,
while I'm searching for a fire to play with.
1.0k · Mar 2016
A Thousand Tales
A thousand lives you live,
but please don’t try to tame them.
With all the love you give
you might as well be an alien.

I won’t torch down your roots,
the nature of a wild thing.
With denim and with ***** boots
singing the blues and dancing to the swing.

A thousand tales you tell
about the stars and wicked moonshine.
But all I need to hear
is a tune that I can call mine.

I won’t slow down the beat
of this aching heart’s desire
as I wander across this world
and my soul is set on fire.
952 · Jul 2015
find yourself
Find yourself on streets,
without a destination;
cold wind blowing through,
a conversation about creation.

Find yourself in broken places,
filled with smoke and familiar faces.
Build yourself in thoughts of me,
how I sculpted you in what you wanted to be.

Find yourself in an empty house,
after midnight the lights go out.
Lose yourself in the songs we discover,
lose a friend, but find a lover.

Find yourself in the echo of my sighs,
in the taste of my tongue, in the breath of my cries.
Find yourself in the ecstasy of being,
find yourself, but never find a meaning.
878 · May 2017
A (w)hole
There's a hole in my chest,
doesn't let me pray, bother or rest,
takes away my rhythm, wonder and zest;
makes me feel the worst, but makes me do the best.

There's a hole where my heart used to be.
I sacrificed bliss so I could set it free.
I gave away trust for truth I wanted to see,
died away in uncertainty so truth I could be.

There's a hole in my soul where love should be found
'cause I traded all my secrets so I could go underground,
sacrificed my words so I could master speaking in sounds;
hoping that my purpose would soon come around.

There's a hole in my gaze wherever I go,
I gave away my ignorance because I wanted to grow,
gave away my innocence so I could be bold,
surrendered to life but left without a hand to hold.
863 · Aug 2015
The Lightning to My Thunder
You illuminate my storms with your existence,
you bring chaotic rhythm into my mists.
Your words peck my skin in the language of denial,
like strangling a carnal urge you couldn't resist.

And I so desperately crave to devour you,
your demented aura and the ecstasy it emits.
And I so desperately crave to hold you under my waters,
drown in infatuation with every next kiss.

The minty scent of your presence
lovingly haunts me whatever my way,
like the vision of a rich strawberry field,
like the mourning on the last summer's day.

You behold the key to my passionate layers,
you keep my soul in a jar on your shelf.
You abandon me with a shattered moral compass
and a questionable sense of self.
770 · Dec 2014
22|12
Wrote down my thoughts
and set them on fire;
no one should read such things
full of regret and desire.
766 · Aug 2016
Dear Mother Moon
There is no fun when you’ve become numb;
maybe the pain is gone, but so is all lifelong.
And there is no thrill when life is standing still;
maybe you won’t get rushed, but you won’t get to see much.

You can wash the pain away
with tobacco or chardonnay;
or you can just let yourself decay,
you’re picking a poison anyway.

Oh mother moon, tell me what I want
so in my guilty pleasures I can rot.
I wish to be loved and I wish to be forgot,
but the reason I seek this is an unfamiliar thought.

'Cause when I stand still I’m the only thing alive,
breathing in the dead and empty  with everything I hide.
Observing the past and future: regretting, regretting.
And don’t ask me what my problem is
because I’ve got plenty.
751 · Aug 2015
What about exceptions?
I hate yellow,
but I love sunflowers.

Sunflowers are yellow.
I preoccupy my mind continually and intrusively
with the way you look at me.
A smile that radiates innocence
can sometimes carry a hidden impulse.
Don't you yearn for my touch?

A nonchalant look can be deceitful
because behind the content
undisclosed desires may be kept.
Playful jokes tend to be masked confessions.
Do you crave my attention?

The smell of smoke could subtly evoke
images of fire; a wish to flare and provoke.
Maybe looking at smoke reminds me of you
because I frequently wonder
why something so hazardous
could look so tempting.

Some sounds could easily make people sin,
let their souls swoon and their bodies rampage.
Certain words could instantly make my head spin.
*Tell me, darling, do you ache for my lips?
676 · Jul 2015
Untitled
Hell on earth is fire in your eyes
and ashes on my fingertips.

Fire is your morbid charm
and fire is how you stay calm
while I evaporate into the surreal bliss you bring out.

Magnetic is your choice of words,
eye contact intense,
not seen, yet heard.

Your worried mind and your deepest stare,
a mind that radiates passion,
a passion that isn't there.

You look at me like you wanna know me,
I look at you because I do.
665 · Mar 2015
Your last hit.
When the Sunday sun sets
and you get rid of the alcohol breath,
you look for comfort in our bed,
but find a gnawing disturbance instead.

You discover heat in a frigid room.
Don't you realize it's coming from you?
Your chest is consumed with pain,
you perspective starts to change.
The smell of your pillow is not the same.

The air is thick and your breathing's thicker,
you can feel it getting colder as you're getting sicker.
Your mind is a mess and so is the sky,
the drugs don't work and you don't know why.
Guess there's no more consolation in getting high.
Your sight goes weak and your mouth goes dry,
you have no more reasons or alibis.

And when you know you've once felt bliss,
and know that you couldn't predict the twist,
and in the taste of your last hit,
you feel the content you desperately missed.
514 · Sep 2015
The Warrior
Don’t strive to revive what you already know;
Feel the flow, take it slow, don’t go for overload.
Doubts and curses, let them go, your mind is not your foe;
Take the bullet, hold that pain and let them come as they go.

Don’t get wrecked for the effect of the consequence,
waste your words and your rhymes for those who comprehend.
Be as humble as the mind state of a broken man,
be as quiet as the waves of such who understand.
459 · Mar 2016
The Light
Send me to the light.
Yeah, send me to the light.
Let me show my divine
and all love intertwine.
And when the sun don’t shine,
send me to the light.

Set the sun to my right,
**** me with kindness
and illuminate the night.
And when this world’s no longer mine
send me to the light.
Yeah, send me to the light.

I need to find
a peace of mind
to walk in your shoes,
but a lover's game
that's just played the same
is one we're gonna lose.

So grip me slow
and grip me tight
and show me which way is right.
And if I ever lose my way
just send me to the light.
Yeah, send me to the light.
409 · May 2014
Untitled
Don't trust the idea that being alone
is the reason you're miserable.

No one can heal your scars
if they're on the inside.
372 · Oct 2018
Transformation
When that which is becomes unlearned,
the coherence of the whispers returns.
One to hide
and one to yearn.

When blood's been spilt and death overturned
the call to ro rise is heard, reaffirmed.
One to bind
and one to burn.

When chains are broken to reveal tales adjourned,
the sleeping winds become the storm.
One to rise,
one to abide.

When the weight of chaos takes its toll
on the one that weaved it in the soil.
One to repent,
one to foil.
355 · Oct 2018
Acquiring the wit of fools.
If I make a mistake,
tame me 'till I break.
Chain the pain,
keep it awake.

For the sake of silence
cover me in violence
- the dance of absence
when I'm in alignment.

When I shatter beside you,
stutter when I confide in you.
A clutter of thoughts I give to you.
Free me with the wit of fools.

Make me a tool of your renewal.
Make me a reject of your approval.
My nature contradicts because it's a duel
between the fuel that guides me through.
and what my essence wants to do.
232 · Nov 2018
Welcoming romance.
We get a sense, a peek
of a slippery road we secretly seek.
It's new, it's blue,
it makes you confused.
It brings you closer to you.

We get a glimpse, a taste
of something that might be a waste.
Misty and laced with a mystical haste,
much more challenging than all you have faced.
Maybe it's time you got your limits erased.

We get a feeling, a thought
of discomfort in the hiding spot of the heart
- the heart we thought we forgot,
- the heart that was told to shut up.

Painful and tense, it brings us suspense,
and it leads to anger and arrogance.
That itch turns wishes to dreams, hence why it's so hard to welcome romance.
Time is not the enemy,
but a forgotten friend.

Infinity is just a word from where I stand.

Go ahead, time,
swallow me again.

Your wrath is something I can stand,
though your indifference is exhilarating,
so let's make amends.

Whether I wish it or not,
I am part of your cycle.
As the day and night change
they remind me of my constant revival.

I always rise
when the tides of change are near.
I do my deed,
I grind the gears,
I bring about chaos and, again,
I disappear.

Use me as you have in eons past.
But, please,
assure me this time will be the last.

It's not that I'm tired,
it's not that I'm worn,
I just want to know that I am born
for something more.

Maybe I want to explore,
not just be an object of admiration or scorn.
Maybe I just don't want to forget,
as when the world's needs are met,
I usually return to the chaotic primordial set.

Am I just a chess piece you use,
is this of my own will?
I've been the beggar,
the king,
the jester
and the shill.
I've been a source of fear,
the precedent of love,
a conniving thrill.

I've forsaken my odds,
I've played with your so called gods,
I've brought droughts and floods
and nights oh so dark.
It's been so,
and now at the end of this age,
again I shall start.

I've lived your countless archetypes,
I've been both,
the bringer of death and of life.
Now, I'll combine all the dualities of the mind,
let the day and night intertwine in my eye.

I've transferred the whispers of the heavens to the earth,
I've transversed the worst,
I've applauded those of worth.

I've guided the weary and inspired the brave.
I've flown above the mountains of Hyperborea,
and I've been in exile,
forced to hide in ancient, primitive caves.

I've endured,
yet I've remained sane.
I've procured change,
yet I've remained the same.

I never caved,
I never swayed.
I've been played,
but those I've played with
never did have their way.

You know how many I've saved.
You know how many I've killed and maimed.

So, please, listen to my voice,
let it reach your throne of gray.

This time,
Time,
I want to stay,
long enough so I can find my true face.
Long enough to be displaced,
and diversify my fire
until it cannot be traced.
120 · Feb 2020
Torn Between The Two
Angel eyes and a devilish smile.
A breath of sighs and an enigmatic tower.

Questions with no answer,
dead silence filled with pointless banter.
A painful truth in an aching chest.
Sharp words, an intimidating alias.

A cold head and disfigured thoughts.
Reasons and answers - satisfaction out of tremor.
My home has been torn by hurricanes,
over-worn by hopelessness.

Was I the poison? Or was I the cure?
How would I know? I'd never be sure.
I turned into a menace 'cause of this empty existence.
I'm the one who suffers from boredom.
An anonymous username
appearing on a forum.

Lurking for answers,
knowing that I should be wary,
for if I stumble long enough
through these bits of consciousness
I encounter,
I may forget what I even asked for.

Links lead to links,
information in chunks,
like little kicks to the heart.
Everytime I uncover something new,
I stand uncovered before it as well.

A hermit,
unburdened,
by the words
and those who've heard them.
I turn the pages,
try to learn,
really earn it.

Disarmed,
I bask,
ambivalent,
at the world's elusive beauty.
It overpowers me.

Reluctant, yet curious,
I let it speak out to me and hook me in.

I let it tamper with my senses.

I let it find my boiling point.

I evaporate.

I begin merging with it,
giving in completely,
letting it uncover itself to me

...and devour me.

The dream,
so fulfilling,
yet empty at its core.
It leaves me wanting more, of course.

Its imperfection.
A fervid hunger it awakens within me.
Completely sore, I feel it leading me astray.

I appear as if I've pleasantly sunk into contemplation,
as though it has been revealed to me
that the rationale I keep under my sleeve
is not enough to help me sail freely
through these incorporeal waters of creation.

The shore may seem stil,
but the electric currents
raging in the deep ends of the water,
are always eager to stir up trouble.

A rash movement on the dashboard.
Going overboard
with fantasies of what the beyond could hold,
the need to hold this hole,
this portal to someone's soul,
often leading to a sole space
where one feels they could truly afford
to lose control.

I'd like to imagine this 'hole'
as a torn down place,
where ideas could be exchanged,
where passion could become airborne
so it can travel and reform
through points of view...

...and with each wall torn down by the exchange, you are reshaping yourself.

Shifting.

As you see that life itself shifts.

Co-creating with what is creating you.

Understanding that it's a two-way process.

Remembering those words
from an artist of old,
'Everything you can imagine is real.'.

The very essence laid out without resistance.

Bliss in a void so bliss-less.

The breath of new life
given to the dusty corners of my mind,
creating me, I know,
just by reaching in and yanking out
what I'd been holding in all along.

A story unfolding within the psyche,
a story that if it were to be described,
the aftertaste it would leave would remind
of the scent of wine and roses.

It's obvious my inner sights are rose-colored.
Romantic...
Hopeless?
No.

And yet,
when the world calls out to me,
tempting me to escape from life itself,
figuratively,
I take note of the rushing water,
a sound that's filling the background,
a reminder,
that all of the life that surrounds me,
whether virtual,
imagined,
or stunningly present

...is the dream itself.

I see this state is not a wayward journey.
It's more like coming home.

I plunge towards the depths,
accepting my fate,
knowing that the hum of the world
will always follow me,
always like a tiny switch
on the lower left corner of my heart,
patiently waiting for me to turn on the lights.

When I'm ready.

When I can.

It's undemanding, as it's timeless,
and it's merely keeping the door unlocked
for me.
Forget my face,
I’m just a messenger of your faith,
I’m just a soulless silhouette of age
- an actor for your stage.

Forget my name,
I’m just a shadow playing everyone’s game,
I’m just a soldier in everyone’s maze,
I’ve made a bet that’s only meant to be raised.

My heart is warm,
from all the faces of love I have born,
From all the times I evaded the norm.
You either go ******* or get bored.

My soul is real,
from all these troubles I had to feel.
A bit of happiness I had to steal,
so I could be strong enough to make you heal.
91 · Feb 2020
*snow
Immobilized by frozen eyes,
a gaze of amazement,
trailblazers on the pavement,
the worlds in my basement,
to face them, embrace them,
no need for replacements,
'cause greed turns to hatred,
they made it, I crave it,
but I don't have to fake it.
77 · Feb 2020
Moonlighting
Anticipating my demise,
no time to think about escape.
I don't think i can operate my fate,
I don't feel i can disobey my ways.

I am but a wolf in sheep's clothing.
I am but a trace of knowing.

I walk the streets at night under orange lights,
it's where i feel the most,
and I roam
because I'm a lost star and I don't need a home,
I only need the dark part of my heart.

When I skim through cafés
and poems of better days
I can't disagree
that the tides in which I reside
are awfully fond of me.
75 · Feb 2020
Thoughts Of Fairies
Sometimes, fantasies do end,
but I'd rather pretend,
and not tend to the mend
of a world I don't wanna defend.

All our lives a dream we chase,
not realizing it's right in front of our face.
We try to find the right pace
while being misplaced
- forgotten, without a trace.

Well, if I am to remain
only in the comforting thoughts of the insane,
I might as well be a pleasant mark
that lingers on throughout the dark.
70 · Feb 2020
play with your fear
let it tickle your fingers,
let it heat up your nerves,
let it light you up tender,
you needn't be reserved

allow it to devour you,
brave to the core you heard,
maybe you'll burn
maybe you'll learn
55 · Feb 2020
consistent in chaos
breathe in the mystery,
the feeling in your gut
recollect - shut up,
take it in - dumb luck

glow in your own,
you're blown, dumb ****

— The End —