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Ciara Apr 23
Your kisses dance on my lips
I wish that I could stay
Running your fingers around my hips
I want this everyday

Don’t worry I’ll be there soon
And we won’t have to wait
I’ll always be in your room
We’ll go on cute dates

You spread a smile across my face
When you hold my hand
My heart always begins to race
I never knew what life had planned

Your kisses dance on my lips
I’ll be there soon to stay
Running your fingers around my hips
I’ll have this everyday
Ciara Feb 27
Tik tok tik tok
When will I be thin?
I’ve been starving myself all these years
I really can’t seem to win

The number drops a little  
Then followed by some more
How much more of this treacherous time
Will I be able to endure?

I see that I am changing
But never quick enough
How come no one ever told me
Starving is this tough

If I could go back and eat
I want to said I would
But my brain has tricked me
And never tells me that I should

I can’t go back at this point
If only I was thin
Maybe it would make this game
So much easier to win
Ciara Nov 2018
Dear,                                                Date: Today
          eating disorder.

Maybe you were once a friend
Maybe your promises shined a bright light into her dark thoughts
Maybe you saved her from demons bigger than yourself

I know how a person can become so desperate
Holding on to every source of light even if it's artificial
Grasping onto every empty promise
She's trying to feel full but how can she feel full when you've made her empty

I know who you really are
You blind her like high beam lights on a dark night
You control her like a claw machine
You trick, deceive and lie to her
Telling her that her worth is measured on a scale
You want nothing more than to put her in a grave

But you're in for a big awakening

She is starting to see on her own now
She is starting to fill herself full
Full of food and full of love
You're getting weaker every day

Goodbye, eating disorder

Love,
      A body that knows how to bounce back
Ciara Oct 2018
some days are hard
hard as the bricks
that built a wall around the heart
no way to be hurt
each brick ironically built by heartache
molded into what once used to be
a heart so soft that you could watch it melt in the hand
hands of people who helped build the wall
who were the foundation of pain
the pain wrapped around your heart
its no longer soft but hard as steel
Ciara Aug 2018
trauma changed me
took away my innocence
left me with fear

trembling
what’s behind the corner

laying awake
scared to sleep
body shakes
I begin to weep
Ciara May 2018
Mind filled with memories I’d pay to have removed
Constantly trying to win
But I always tend to lose
Waiting for the day that I can finally be set free
From all of the memories
that have been consistently haunting me
Wishing my life away puts me at ease
I don’t believe in God
But I’m begging him please
Leave me be
But not really
Let my soul escape from me
The sun is ruined
As am I
I am a burden
But I ask why?
What have I done to make me bad?
Summertime always makes me sad
It’s not the summer or the spring
It’s the trauma voice that continues to sing  
“ you are tainted” it always says
How could I not believe what’s in my head?
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