Im feeling confined by
lines leniently lighting the way.

The ******* I bare
constitute
the clothes I wear

So the curve in my line carries cat calls all day.

i am the colored leaves cascading from autumn trees onto concrete
where you don't know below greens used to grow.

i am the pupil of your eye standing before a judges' sentence
without knowing the consensus missed evidence.

i am the rain drop that falls on your forehead
forgetting umbrellas don't matter
until they do.

At the age of nine he wanted to die
which was something I couldn't understand
because I knew our mother loved us.

desperation so

doctors drill diagnostic decisions down his throat.
I pray he won't choke on the
shallow pills he has to swallow
hollow dreams he has to follow.

Sedating's seductive for families who can afford it.

The Founding Fathers have forged my future,
they've mocked my freedom and cashed in on humans.
America likes to revive our problems with the quickest fix, money solves it.

My brothers become another lab rat
to solidify the fact that these pills are legit.
Simply because his name appears on a list.
Ignoring the fact his original pain was nothing but a claim

against all of this cultural *******.

You sit on the holy hollow thrown in my body.
Calling for salvation, claiming camaraderie

The internal tick I tend to mend,
sits on my chest, sinks into my irises.

A sip, a snort, a huff whisper safe promises.

You are the thumb I **** singing lullabies to sleeping peace,
the knife I carry down dark streets.

You are the doctor I call when I break my arm,
the scarf I wear in winter storms.

But too,

You are the *** hole in main streets,
and a broken belt in the drivers seat,
the sour milk in my fridge when I make English tea.
You've put salt in my sugar.

You are the feet that fall asleep in a moment of danger.

You are a beautiful thought waiting to unfold on black paper.

You sit on the holy hollow thrown in my body.
Commanding toxic tensions, comforting ill redemptions.

But

The kingdom we live in is drinking resilience,
mind stepping back into its brilliance.

You still sit on the holy thrown in my body.
But I too fight for survival
and you still dable with devils.

But the battles I face are no longer hollow,
and sometimes I miss the comfort of denial.

I cannot express myself
Not the way letters have sounds
And the way words have means
Because means have ends.

I cannot find a way to define my experience
Because definitions have conditions
And every definition is defined
By one mans minds eye.

I cannot find my voice
Because the keys are in the Kingdom of my choice
And if my choices are made in duty to the words you say

How can my words carry voice?