(sometimes)


my favorite
wine glass
broke today,
shattered.

faded purple glass,
heavy in my hand
a crackled texture.

i was
careless.

i put it too
close
to the
edge.

i remember
buying it.
choosing it.
only buying
one,
because i
am just one.

i'm mad at
myself
for becoming
attached
to a
piece of
glass.

because all
my favorite
things
break,
crack,
fall away.

and now there is
glass in
my foot
to remind me

of all
the things
i place
too close
to the edge.

My chest spasms...
Tightening vessels resemble bricks
Who knew that memories could feel so heavy
My eyes close for a moment
Flashes of your faces yank violently onto my optic nerves
While my brain attempts to circumnavigate
Turn regret into something easier said than done
My fists clench feeling hot and cold simultaneously
Air rushes into my wrinkled lips
While I breathe NEARLY all of this lingering essence out
Out of my lungs
And I try yet again to return to earth
Hearing an emphatic rhythmic pump
and your well–intentioned attempt to turn words into quietude

i wrote a poem today
at 3 AM
it was not easy
i do not know how to start it
sentences, words, fragments
are messed up in my head
I wrote a poem today
in the morning
it was hard
asking myself
why was i even writing this
i wrote a poem today
writing my heart in words
they just threw away
i wrote a poem today
i needed a reason to write
and i had it
it wasn't the right one
i wrote a poem today
i gave it to them
i handed my heart
on a silver platter
and they didn't say anything
i wrote a poem today
i gave it again
and they showed me a new one
it wasn't mine
i wish they said something
anything
to say that my poem was good, or bad
i just needed to hear something
from them
but they didn't say anything

Darling can't you see?
I'm the one
Who can cause the pain
To be numb.
I'm the one
Who can devour your soul
And take you captive in my kiss.
Even if it's a just a second
Darling I can be your drug.
Let me take you somewhere.

out of thin air, ghosts appear
somewhere in the moment
as I turn back, time disappears
and all that remain is gone
the torment cuts me open
and everything broken spills out
no matter how much I shout
it's all the same, it's all the same
nobody else is interested in change
to change, re-arrange the physics
this darkness holds something mystic
artistic, that keeps numbing my soul
not counting the countless sanity it stole
I've never been able to escape from it
there are only walls and no doors anymore
and I've been stuck inside of it
for as long as I can remember
last december I almost killed myself
but that's alright, just a story of one night
if I just hold on tight, I can learn to spell
just the thought of it makes me sick
i wasn't even down the road and I still got hit
guess, I missed the signs after all
too busy counting my tears those didn't fall
now I'm left all alone, and I'm haunted
only silence and nothing else, exactly like what I once wanted
oh, I'm so rotten, it's insane and I have no clue where I belong
everything else appears so colourful and enchanted
am I the only one dying in this song
why am i crying again when I have nothing left to lose
i made all those memories and they made me a noose
I'm in no mood to end my pain
it doesn't matter, they won't even remember my name
I'm used to being at the same place and never move
hiding the flaws all across the empty space
there's no face I remember, not even my own
and 'tis my grave, here I will sleep, until the ghosts are gone
to haunt another memory