the sky was muddled with colors:
each fighting to show their brilliance.
it was like watching a Sophocles creation
spun from truth and tombs.
scenes changed as wheels turned underneath me.
Yellow entered from the left and Orange from the right.
they reached for each other, vibrant and deafening.
Love ensued at their touch.
they danced off the stage,
hand in hand.
Green stepped into the light with a monologue.
he spoke of love lost and worlds split
down the center. he faded away as
Blue and Red marched onto the stage,
singing their songs of tragedy and bloodshed,
bleeding into each other- a Purple harmony.

Black overcame every element, every happiness.
Black was the inevitable.
Black was the curtain call.
Black was death.
but even then,
there was light.
in the stars I found hope and beauty.
in the stars I found you.

time isn't the enemy.
time isn’t an enemy.
time is a friend that should be
wholeheartedly embraced.
it makes moments-
the ones you never want to end-
finite.
it makes them worth remembering
specifically because
they do not last.

time will continue even if you do not.
it’s harsh ways keep people
from feeling scars as
fresh bullet wounds. instead,
it fades.
the pain fades.
it’s a pinch, instead of a bullet that
tears your ribcage into splinters.
it’s survivable pain.
the past is the past
and the present isn't so unbearable.
the past is the past
and the future is bright.

he dived into a pool of syrupy, blackness;
dived into his past.
it smelled of ***** laundry,
sweat, and goodbyes.
he choked on the thick memories;

raucous music rippled through
the molasses that weighed him down.
he realized his mistake for dwelling
and kicked his feet feverishly,
back and forth
back and forth.
his lips broke the surface.
sunlight met him with a kiss.
the bad days were long gone.

“keep moving forward”
is an exhausted phrase but
if you stay still you will drown and
if you lie on your back and ride the waves,
you will be pushed back and back
until you’re lying on itchy sand.
the only way to reach new horizons,
to reach a different fate,
is by swimming towards the sun.

this morning i was loved
and then i woke up.
i felt like i had suffered
a strange kind of loss.
a pale echo of the
feeling lasted until
the next night as i
waited for love
but instead i found
myself falling down-
a steep cliff into
consciousness.

looking out the window of a plane,
I wondered if I had ever seen
stars this close before and
somehow let myself forget-
not understanding the beauty
to be found
in a vulnerable sky.

I had done that a lot growing up-
forgotten.
I let memories dissipate in anticipation
of better ones, not knowing, or maybe refusing
to believe, that the best memories were quiet
and garnished with love.

I wondered
why I hadn’t appreciated more as a child,
why I didn’t gulp down life like I would
a lemonade on a sweltering day.

I took many things for granted then.
I didn’t look at trees
with awe,
driving down dark roads,
listening to the hum of wheels
against pavement,
but with heavy eyelids.

what I would do
to go back
to those evening car rides
and keep my eyes wide open.

You are the pink shark at the bottom of a swimming pool,
a child’s irrational fear.
You are my Pandora’s box filled with darkness and demons to fight,
but also a candle and a sword.
You are strong but like metal,
you soften near a flame.
You are extremely human,
though it took me awhile to learn that.
You have saved me,
and I only wish to return the favor.