How can you write what you feel,
What you know,
When you don’t?
How can I keep the words from running dry
When I’m wasting time trying to squeeze them
From the inkwell of my mind?

I am not an artist,
I am a student.

And yet everything I’ve learned
Seems to fail me.
Rhymes, meter, imagery:
Why do I know these things
If I can’t use them myself?

I am not an artist,
I am an observer.

This problem is not rare
And yet as I write about not writing
I write.
My lack of a story
Is a story itself.
Thinking is the enemy
And in this head of mine
My foe flies at me relentlessly.
Sometimes a mind overflowing with thoughts
Can hurt more than an imagination run dry.
Yet the pain only fuels me.

I am not an artist,
But I could be.

you were the little rain,
and i was the hurricane,
everybody knew you were meant to fix something,
and i was meant to destroy everything.
you are the definition of lightness,
while i was the meaning of darkness.
your body is the realm of all the lost things that are found,
while mine was the other way around.
to sum things up,
we were the polar opposites.
the east and the west,
the tame and the wild,
the day and the night.
when i was lost,
people would say that someday,
someone will knock on your door and when you take a look at it,
you will not recognize who the person is,
your mind will be blasting with the questions,
"who are you?", "what are you doing here?"
and maybe you would even tell the person to get out.
but the person will leave something in front of your door,
a thing that you perhaps wanted or despised,
a thing that even the closest people in your life can give,
but instead, this time,
a stranger will.
it's called the unexpected.
you came knocking on my door one day,
thinking you can settle things with the hurricane,
at first i just laughed and said,
"nobody can handle the hurricane."
however after that i never thought a little rain
would have so much effect on me.
that was when i realised you are also the thing
that you left in front of my door.
you are the unexpected.
and by means of unexpected,
you never did anything i expected you to do.
you didn't give me a playlist of the songs that remind you of me
but my favourite songs are nothing compared to your voice,
one simple "hello" of you will make me stop listening to my playlist.
you didn't take me to art museums
and admire the wonderful paintings with my presence
but you made me feel like a living masterpiece every single day.
when i told you i love art,
you asked why don't i love myself.
you do not connect me to a rose,
or to a smoke,
you do not make metaphors for me
and you do not love poems as much as i do
but your words have the power to hit me more than any other poets could
and i am just a coward to not admit it.
you didn't call me at 11 pm to ask
if i wanted to go see the stars,
like i've always dreamed of.
but just by staring at you,
i can see the stars, the milky way, even the whole universe,
and i knew that moment
that there is no need for stargazing in the middle of the night
when i can look at you all the time.
you didn't enjoy my favourite shows,
you couldn't take it because of how much blood was shown in it,
and i saw beauty in it.
this is probably a poem about
our disparity,
our contrast,
and our dissimilarities.
but you did something that i never expected you to do,
you did the unexpected.
you found the light in me
no matter how dark it might be.
my body was no longer the realm of lost things,
because you've done everything to find them.
and i was no longer the hurricane who is known
to destroy everything,
because for some reasons i couldn't destroy you,
you were the exception.
despite of all the things i wanted you to do that you never did,
the playlists,
the museum dates,
the appreciation of poetry,
the stargazing.
you did something that took my breath away,
something that i couldn't ask for more,
something that was unexpected.
you loved me,
and that was enough,
that was more than enough.

You think you know me. But you see only what I show you. A reflection of the symphony inside my ribs, caged for eternity in a heart that you feel beating but will never hear.

I have shown you what is lost. I hope for redemption besides your flesh but I am not looking to be saved by you. I use you the same way you use me. At night, the darkness peers in and I allow it to consume me, the way you consume me.  Bite by bite. Inch by inch. Slowly.

I am a jungle and you must cross my tangled flesh intentionally, carving out a path decisively or you will be lost under the moon without any sympathy. I dare you to find a forest more treacherous than that of my heart. A territory uninhabited. Cold as the North Pole. You are a savage and I think I’d let you in.

Her lips
bring me to my knees.
Light me up like kerosene.
And if mine were to meet them again,
I’d pull her in close and remove all doubt
that I can bring her to her knees just as well.

I love every part of her,
from the hottest crevasse to the coldest shoulder,
and if it were to turn my way again,
I’d pull her in close and remove all doubt
that my shoulders were made for her arms to rest on.

Her laughter is a music
that whisks me away to far off worlds,
and if a fool’s incantation will make it sound,
I’d pull her in close and remove all doubt
that I am a fool for her and always will be.

Sometimes life changes drastically before your eyes.
Sometimes there's nothing you can do about it.
And sometimes there is, but this isn't one of those times.
Sometimes the ones closest to you drift away like the wind.
Sometimes, they stay like they said they would.
Sometimes you're left on your own, feeling trapped with no way out.
When those times come, embrace the chaos in your life, put a smile on, and dance with the destruction.
Sometimes it doesn't work, and you feel lost and out of place like a fish out of water.
But i promise, things will get better.
Sometimes, even if it hurts to pull through, it's the only path to take.
Sometimes you have to be your own hero.

know that feeling that everything just seems so right & perfect like there's nothing in the world that could go wrong because you've got that person your person right by your side
throughout anything and for once you aren't afraid of getting your heart broken cause that's something they would never do to you and that feeling is just so great because you get to     share every laugh, tears, dreams, & goals with them and this time, this time
You know they're not leaving anywhere
so you don't have to worry about not being able to tell them a story because you know you'll have any time of the day to say what you want to say and they don't mind the quiet silence, they're actually very comfortable with it because the quietest conversations are the best thing shared between you two
every morning you've got that smile on your face because a new day filled with adventure is awaiting for you this feeling you can't seem to describe it's like seeing a shooting star for the first time & wishing for that ultimate wish
it's like watching the sunset & getting mesmerized by the beauty of it it's like hearing the calming sound that the ocean makes & everything is peaceful
It's like seeing a full moon & everything just seem to bright & full  and for the first time in a long time you feel full, you're complete and this feeling is happiness you weren't quite familiar with it smiles & constant happiness
being with you is like having the world within the back of my hand
being with you is having a garden filled with sunflowers growing inside of me
And with you there are no rainy days, only bright & shiny ones and I remember someone asking me "what is the most beautiful piece of art that you have ever seen?" "Her," I replied. but then I took it back because

there you were, lying right next to me. our bodies entangled with each other, fingers intertwined, legs wrapped around each other - it was almost as if our souls were about to become one. i lie awake, staring right next to me where you were - perfection, yes perfection, perfection is all i saw then your tired eyes gently shut, eyelashes that looked like a butterfly's fragile wing, the bridge of your nose constructed wide but perfect, your cheeks that were tinted pink, i wanted to run my fingers through all the edges of your faces, just to make sure that you were real and this is not another one of those daydreams i've been having for so long now, that this is really happening, that you, my dreams, yes, you are my dreams, that this is reality. "what did i do to get myself so lucky?" i wondered. there you were, such a work of art, accompanied by the lovely sounds that consisted of the rise and sighs of your breath, sounds that made me feel protective of you, my love, existed. before this, i was in love with the idea of you. the thought of you that kept running through my mind whether i was alone or not, i was so in love and infatuated by you, just by you existing in my mind. it was hard to believe that something as simple as you being around me can make me so happy. i had no control over how you were multiplying the butterflies that were now flying viciously inside of me, how you make my veins pump faster, how you make my heart play skip beats whenever you're around. home was now your arms, and I was yours, but the best part was that you were mine, now and what feels like forever. there you were, lying right next to me, gently inhaling and exhaling. i can't help but plant a kiss on your neck gently nibble on it and under my breath say, "oh god, i'm so in love with you."