I am too tired now
from the follies of my youth
I am too scared
of creating the same mistakes
I am too cautious
in finding who's worthy
and too weak
to try to d o it all again

sigh

But I need to breathe
and as my lungs are slowly sipping
the magnitude of this world
after exhausting
the dire muck of my memories

I think and proclaim to myself
no...it is but a whisper now...
I whisper: "One day at a time"
I close my eyes in surrender
to the infinite
and access my potential
knowing that  in the deepest recess of my soul
a spark is still there
awaiting my command
awaiting to be tapped
awaiting to be born

"But whisper softly"
I say.
"For it is not time for your to awake"

And at the end of it all
She said goodbye
And he found his missing piece...
Their lives move on
And tonight he knows
His world is at peace...

One down, a thousand more
The demons of his past
The hauntings they have brought
Will slowly come to naught...
  AT THE END OF IT ALL.

And at the end of it all
She said goodbye
And he found his missing piece...
Their lives move on
And tonight he knows
His world is at peace...

One down, a thousand more
The demons of his past
The hauntings they have brought
Will slowly come to naught...
  AT THE END OF IT ALL.

There is no rhyme, no feeling, no despair
Compared to loving and not receiving
In the world of love, they say it's unfair
No matter what side, you end up losing.
For in the days of sunlight, you fear rain
So in the darkest hour you cry alone
What was once pride has now turned into shame
What was once yours is no longer your own.
But heart, do not set forever, be wise
For slowly and surely you will survive
And wake up to find love that would suffice
Though unrequitted before... You will strive.
For though you have been hurt, you will heal too,
And in healing you'll find true love for you.

The train of destiny
Has carried you
My love, has it carried you
Away, and far, and fast!
It has carried with it:
My dreams, and left me
     With agony
My hopes, and left me
     With fear
My strength, and left me
     With void

Oh the train of destiny
Has carried my Love
Carried my Love away

But the sad reality is...
She chose to not stay.

This is the longest week...
of what would be my longest month...
of my longest year.
Losing you is the easy part,
living everyday without you is the hardest.
How do I cover my ears
from the echo of your voice
coming from my heart?
How do I stray away
from your shadow
imprinted on every wall, every inch of my space?
How do I train my memory
to forget you
when I have forgotten myself in you?
I still whisper your name
and see you
every time I don't see you.
For the music stopped
my heart dropped
my eyes were swollen
my wounds were opened
and you didn't even say goodbye.

How i wish my day would end
But I cannot lull my eyes to bed
and my nerves' impulse tightens
while, at the same time,
my heart beats slower.
Oh, the physical manifestation of this pain
my ducts are dry
my masks are all wet
from drying my tears
my fist that once bore the tools
of record proportions
now pounds my chest
stabbing it,
to make me realize
that I'm still breathing.
My voice that once shouted victory
in my field of dreams
have nothing more
than whispers...
for it is tiring to shout
knowing that the one you want to listen
is turning the other direction...
When people, if people,
see me now
in my predicament
they will always say
"You're not who you were before"
it's true.
But I don't care.
I still want to be who I truly am
at this moment.