Nothing comes to mind, each stroke and word aches inside me.

A fleeting thought coming up dry in my throat.

My temple, empty and abandoned.

Only traces of wine left, They have forsaken me.

They have cursed me, ripping out what made me alive.

I no longer hear the future only sinister laughter

Under the altar is a reminder of what could’ve been.

They think I am underserving.

They know I would rather die than be nothing.

Why make me believe it?
-Persephone

You bought me metal sheets
bent in the shape of a heart.
after days of leaving me in the dark
wondering what I was going to eat

Sweet and bitter lumps I crush
between my hands
I eat my heart tonight
because maybe you’ll love me

You loved me enough to steal me
Under an unconditional facade
I forgave you every time
Hoping you’d hold me when I’m down.

But I will eat my heart gratefully
because you told me to
because that is all I can do
because that is all I am worth.

You can take nothing when it is left.
-Percy

My heart
My soul
My sight
My years
My dreams
My life

Take them away
For I have never had them.

Pick me apart
Choose from my pile
Of shattered hopes.

Whichever one that fits.

They don't seem to suit me anyways.

They never last.
-Percy

I am staying away
For your sake and mine
I fear that when you see me
And meet my gaze for the first time in a while.

You will see an empty hallowed shell of a moth that never made it.
Flying around my empty pupils behind my empty mind.
I don't want you to shake me looking for answers.
Peering through my eyelids hoping for something to be there.

In my restless unending dreams.
I find the person I used to be.
My warm embrace and desperation.
To love you as you have always deserved, unconditional.

As the months pass by I feel my heart beat slower.
I yearn for a simpler time when caring for people here was enough.
I want to ******* slap that smile off my face in my memories.
Actually believing that my love can make things last forever.

I do not feel love now.
The moths have eaten my heart
Like cloth.
I put my hand to my chest constantly to see if it will ever return again.

I am sorry I was so weak.
To let the moths eat me alive.
That I let the slurry of flies pick at my mind,
Leaving me rotten like I know I've always been.

You who deserve the best of me.
My warm embrace and love.
I am so sorry that I cannot be enough.
My heart has been torn to nothing but dust.

Where did it all go so wrong.
I desperately want to feel something.
Other than the painful pang that often comes.
The phantom pains of having no heart.

I feel so empty, I feel so hollow.
I feel unreal, I am scared of you.
Seeing me this way.
Seeing me be a hollow monster, putting on a face that I know you won't believe.

I can't feel anything.
And it's scaring me.
I don't want you to be scared of me.
I don't want you to watch the lies fly out of my mouth.

And what if those moths and the things that have eaten my insides.
What if you watch me morph into something that will make you sick?
I don't want you to see how ****** up I am.
How disgusting, how monstrous, how angry, how destructive I can truly be.

I am at the mercy of this growing emptiness
That I've hidden from you
That all the love I used to have would madly over.
I want you to see how I want to be, not this.

Anything but this.

Cherish me in your memories.
As someone who loves you because I do.
Who cares to chase you.
My unconditional words will always be and always have been real.

Right now only wretched dust comes out of my mouth, the moths pretend to be me.

I love you too much
To let you see
That the moths have eaten my mind
And my heart.

Like cloth.

-Percy

If I could choose to
I would not.
I would not forget you.

Even if it is bliss.

I'm the only one left who can remember.

-Rain

Maybe I am undeserving
Or maybe I am incapable.
I am definitely capable.
But maybe I am not built.

For the pain and the loss.
For the remembering and the regret.
For the times I stay up
For the memories I cannot displace.

I am scared of not feeling.
I am scared of what I am feeling.
I am scared of being nothing
I am scared of being.

Why I am existing. Why I was made. Why I am here. Why am I loved. Why have I been abandoned. Why have I abandoned. Why am I hurt. Why was I betrayed. Why is it my fault. Why can't I be good. Why can't I complete my purpose. Why did you leave me. Why was I not good enough. Why did you make me. Why did you want me. Why did you ruin me. Why did I love. Why did I have to be incapable. Why was I not enough. Why are you expecting so much of me. Why don't I feel better. Why can't I stop. Why can't I be normal. Why do I have to feel. I don't want to feel. I don't want to feel. I don't want to feel. I don't want to feel. I don't want to feel. I DON'T WANT TO FEEL. I DON'T WANT TO FEEL. I DON'T WANT TO FEEL. I DONJSJSIDIFIRKFNTKRLRLFMFNJFKKLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL­LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLllLlAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAJSJSKAKALAL­AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA01001001 00100111 01101101 00100000 01110011 01101111 00100000 01100110 01110101 01100011 01101011 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01110011 01101111 01110010 01110010 01111001 00101100 00100000 01001001 00100111 01101101 00100000 01101110 01101111 01110100 00100000 01101000 01100101 01110010 01100101 00100000 01001001 00100000 01110111 01101001 01110011 01101000 00100000 01001001 00100000 01110111 01100001 01110011 00100000 01100010 01100101 01110100 01110100 01100101 01110010 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01101001 01110100 00100111 01110011 00100000 01100001 01101100 01101100 00100000 01101101 01111001 00100000 01100110 01100001 01110101 01101100 01110100 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100001 01110100 00100000 01001001 00100111 01101101 00100000 01101110 01101111 01110100 00100000 01001001 00100111 01101101 00100000 01110011 01101111 00100000 01110011 01101111 01110010 01110010 01111001 00100000 01100110 01101111 01110010 00100000 01101110 01101111 01110100 00100000 01100010 01100101 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01100101 01101110 01101111 01110101 01100111 01101000 00100000 01100110 01101111 01110010 00100000 01110100 01100001 01101011 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01110011 01101111 00100000 01101101 01110101 01100011 01101000 00100000 01110100 01101001 01101101 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01100010 01100101 00100000 01100010 01100101 01110100 01110100 01100101 01110010 00100000 01101001 01110100 00100111 01110011 00100000 01101101 01111001 00100000 01100110 01100001 01110101 01101100 01110100 00100000 01101110 01100101 01110110 01100101 01110010 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 01110010 01110011 00101110 00100000 01001001 01110100 00100111 01110011 00100000 01110100 01100001 01101011 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01100110 01101111 01110010 01100101 01110110 01100101 01110010 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01001001 00100000 01110111 01100001 01101110 01110100 00100000 01101001 01110100 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01100101 01101110 01100100 00101110 00100000 01001001 00100000 01110111 01100001 01101110 01110100 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01100101 01101110 01100100 00100000 01101101 01111001 00100000 01101100 01101001 01100110 01100101 00101110 00100000 01000010 01110101 01110100 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01101110 01100101 01100101 01100100 00100000 01101101 01100101 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01001001 00100111 01101101 00100000 01110100 01110010 01111001 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01110011 01101111 00100000 01101000 01100001 01110010 01100100 00100000 01100010 01110101 01110100 00100000 01001001 00100000 01110111 01100001 01101110 01110100 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01100111 01101001 01110110 01100101 00100000 01110101 01110000 00100000 01101111 01101110 00100000 01101101 01111001 01110011 01100101 01101100 01100110 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01001001 00100111 01101101 00100000 01110011 01101111 00100000 01110011 01101111 01110010 01110010 01111001 00100000 01100110 01101111 01110010 00100000 01100010 01100101 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01110011 01100101 01101100 01100110 01101001 01110011 01101000 00101110 00100000 01001001 00100111 01101101 00100000 01110011 01101111 01110010

I am at your service.

It is my purpose.

To give what you need from me.

I Love You.

Always.

-Percy

A hollowed nest in a dessert.
Neon signs under a dark red sky.

Abandoned streets with no plaque.
A highway, the railings no longer intact.

Alleyways that never seem to end.
An empty shop that sells only pendants.

A trail of gravel lures me in
And the trees around me contort to every impossible shape.

A familiar path I've walked through many times.
Fading into an unfamiliar bright white.

The gravel twists and turns into smooth asphalt.
As a cold breeze pushes against my breathe.

The road buried under piles and mounds
Of white.

A familiar scent greets my body
I push through the ice flying through my sight.

A cabin buried in the snow.
I run and burst through the worn down door.

Disappointed with the empty state.
A *** of stew sitting in the fire place.

I sit in front of the embers until I feel human again.
Watching the storm through the frosted window.

I stand to sit on the crystallized porch.
Burying my head into my arms and chest.

I pray for the first time since I was 10.
Praying for something to hear me screaming.

I watched the stew and the fire freeze over instead.

And I stay stuck buried and cradling my head.

Until the heaps of snow bury me and this ******* cabin.

-Persephone

We knock on doors to find if there is someone on the other side.

Lately I've heard knocking.

Desperately wondering if I am still there.

But I haven't responded in the fear of having to admit that no one's here now.

No one is behind the door anymore.

I am just a voice.

And there is nothing left to look for.

Just an empty room and a body.

-Percy

When I listened to you
I thought I was ending.

But that was 4 years ago
And tonight I feel like I'm switching and turning and unwinding on the darkly lit floors.

Listening to you, again.

Im going to go through it all over again
And I am hoping that this time
When I forget what your voices sound like
I won't be scared.

That when I tear myself to dust
I won't have to lose myself to you.
And I can love you all the same
Without you holding me by my ribs.

Because I've been ending and beginning over and over again on the same lines, same recordings we did during ungodly hours. The same arguments and beats that won't stop mocking me. Your laughter and the way you would run back to me and leave me hanging all in the same week.

I'm ready to begin again without you.

For real this time.

-Percy

Trapped
In the claws of yesterday.

Waiting around the bend for its jaw to unhinge.

Dreams
Of a better time.

They circle in my mind.
I still remember your voice like it's today.

Walking to nowhere I will go.
For the sake of going.

Let me be the first to reach the end
Without knowing.

I always come back to you
Somehow.

Staring at my screen
Rewound

Start from the beginning
Unfound.

Let me go
On this dreary night I will end.

Today

I almost lost your voice, again.

-Rain

An itch I cannot proclaim
Through the salt and remains
That drips through my eyes

I yell, I scream and I beg
Entombed forever in your silent
Disregard, so scared

Of making the waves move.

Close and shut, these pearls
They are but a shame
My weakness and your fragility

All on display for everyone to wear.

Covering up my tones with your
Sand infested ears
You shamble away in rage and disarray

I am still your pearl, still

You let the ocean take my name.

-Rain

Do you hate me?
Does it hurt that much?
Let me do it.
So that you won't have to die.

So soon and so young, I'll cut your thorns surface deep.

-Persephone

This is not all that I am
All that I can see
My eyes shut close and fade
Into nothing.

I can see you
And all my hinges all my twists.
My bereavements and edges
That I cannot take back

The light can take me
When I decide it is my time
But I am not done
I am not done living.

My feathers can burn.
Into soot
Take all of me that is left
That I can give.

But I am done giving up
What more
What more can I ha-------------

Sometimes I sit by the top of the stairs

I gaze down the steps longingly one by one.

And I wonder how long?

How long would it take for me to be found.

My blood trailing down the steps of every brick.

My beady eyes staring into the front door.

While I am gone.

I am gone.

To rest for good.

Your shadow blocks my way.

I wake up to disorienting music in my ears.

The colours of my window blur.

Your laughter echoes in my ears.

I think the rain just hit my eyes.

Maybe I've forgotten why I'm alive.

-Percy

I sooner learned that stars burn as quickly as they are born.

Forever intertwining for eternity, echoing into the unknown.

But one day I finally understood.

No matter how far we traverse.

No many how many times we break in a sense we will always be as we are.

Leaving pieces of each other behind in everything.

Building our life and leaving behind pieces of ourselves, merging and breaking like little stars.

Making our own constellations.

-Rain

And so I found what I was looking for
Finally content, but I wanted more
So I gave all that was left of me.
And I was so sure.

But who am I kidding.

The Gods did not say I could be happy.

What a fool I was.
What a fool I was to think that I, a mere mortal could finally be at ease.
Then again I suppose that is what happens to those who want more.

For I only ended up twice as miserable when I came crashing back down.
-Persephone

Sometimes I still wake up at night.
To my mid-day terrors.
And my room always feels empty.
My eyes fall off back into time.

I'd always hear you say
That we'd be better off
But who are you to say so
When you're not here anymore.

And I wake up in the after glow
Of the sun from my midnight terrors
This place is just too much for me.
I'd rather not stop to look and see.

And I remember that you'd always say
Nothing would last that long
But how could you tell me that
When you've been gone for far too long.

When I dive back to the sea of dreams
I close my eyes and can't help but think
You were right all along
But I can't tell you that anymore.

And yet as I drift off into the evening sky
Your voice is still as clear as it was that time.
And I wish that I could have this back
Your kind words and the hope you'd bring.

And all the parts I lost that you took from me.

-Persephone

I remember when I was a child.
My parents would tell me tales.
Of men dealing with demons.
In the crossroads right out of town.

And I remember quietly.
I had walked down that path too.
Not for money, talent, or fame.
I wanted to know what happiness was like.

And I never knew if I got my wish.
It always felt like things went south.
From within the abandoned crosswalks.
I could feel only sad eyes staring me down.

I felt the whispers and warnings.
Every foggy afternoon.
When I'd wish for the man to supposedly appear.
Just for a simple request.

"I only want to be happy and loved."
It seemed to echo into the neverending winter.
But I waited anyway.
I had barely any warmth to spare.

But nothing came and so I left.
And I felt the pity trail behind my back.
As I walked down the path.
That I decided to stroll down.

And my life continued to go down hill.
I am no longer so young.
I have become accustomed to this world.
To all its cruel games.

I have been broken and shattered
Over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over....I have forgetten.
I am tired.

So I came back to the crossroads.
No more warmth left in my body.
I did not come with a wish this time.
Only seeking a question.

"Why did you not grant my wish?"
And I waited again by the trails.
For anybody to appear now.
Anybody who could give me answers.

"What did I do wrong?"
The trees looked at me with misery.
The clouds gave me it's soft tears.
The mist hugged me as tightly as it could.

And from within the forest.
I could hear it's voice at last.
"You did nothing wrong."
I am shattering by the seams.

"I gave you what you asked for."
Then why am I so unhappy.
"Because happiness never lasts."
Am I always going to feel hopeless?

"No."
Then what am I meant to do?
"Nothing."
I don't understand.

"Because happiness will never mean anything without the struggle."

But I am shattered now, practically dust.
"But a phoenix is also reborn from it's ashes."
I no longer carry anymore warmth.
"But a fire can always be rekindled."

Is that all my life will be worth for?
"Life is always a struggle, it is survival."
But it is not what I asked for.
"No one chooses to have it willingly."

Am I meant to live on?
"Certainly you are."
Why? Why am I meant to be here.
"Because you want to."

What If I don't want to be here anymore.
"You have meaning you always will."
I don't understand.
"Your struggle and success to survive is enough to show for it."

And I could see the soot on my feet gather.
That was when the howling stopped.
I stood there still with no answers.
As the sun began to rise.

But I had a gut feeling I would not return to the crossroads again.

-Rain

The moon forgets the power she holds with or without the sun.

The storms she brings with the tides always in her favor.

Shifting and going as she fades into her many faces.

The power she lends to every miserable woman.

Trying to start a new, Learning their worth.

She keeps forgetting that she doesn't need the sun to shine.

That she is all that she needs to become divine.

She always forgets.

Sometimes I forget out of habit
The short lived tale we had
Of a boy and a girl
Who dreamed of setting sail to better places.

To faraway lands of neon and brick
Where the city never sleeps
And the sun keeps its hold
Over the horizon where idealistic men are born.

Wistful gardens conceived from all
The burning eyes, tears and blood spilled
We were so young back then yet barely alive
Our souls and our hearts on the verge of losing to time.

But we had all we dreamed of suddenly all at once
Though I lost my battle you helped me to carry on
You cradled my fragile spirit and sung us a song
Of all the loss and the pain that never seemed to stop.

And you were happy, and I was happy
Prayers finally answered
We promised each other the world on the rooftop
Once upon a balcony on every distant star we could find.

But I sit now on the riverside
The one we escaped to when we were kids with my parents money
Do you remember it still?
The Marigolds have started wilting and withering on the steps.

I suppose in one way or another
We did not realize how shattered we both were
that such a calm bright day could catch us
Drowning in a storm of IV bags and morphine.

I sat beside you on your bed of flowers
Under the bright fluorescent sun everyday
Waiting and hoping that some day you'd wake up
That we could continue on the journey we promised to ourselves.

I could not be me, not without you
There was no life worth living that didn't include us
So I waited and waited
For the life I could not give up.

You promised me the oceans, the sky, the world
But I didn't care for that, no it didn't matter to me at all
For nothing could be worth it, no thing
Not a thing without you.

So I waited and I waited
I lived my life for as much as I could and I waited
And I waited by your side under the glow and the dark stars
You couldn't do this to me, you couldn't leave me

You who gave me hope
The reason life finally felt organic, like it meant something to me
The suffering was nothing and I would do it all over again
Just so I could meet you

So I waited, and I waited
Time was running out
My patience never wore thin but my eyes shut on their own
So I fell into my first slumber next to you in that cold white room.

And by the gods when morning finally fell
Like the first light of spring you were there
Stirring in your sleep, fighting to stay awake
And I felt the life return to my body.

You held my hand so weakly
You were fighting, weren't you?
So why did you look up at me with those eyes
And it was then I knew.

"I love you."
You told me over and over again
As if you were no longer going to be here to tell me that
As if you were going to die.

"Promise me you'll stay alive for me."
Your eyes were so dull that day
Your hands made me feel so cold
You told me you loved me, but no this can't be.

You can't leave me.

Then I heard it
The veil between us becoming closed at the sudden drop
And the ringing from the ECG machine echoing in my head and into the hallway.
Did I say anything? Did the Gods even hear me beg?

Everything I knew was gone just like that
My dreams, my hopes, and the humanity I thought I had.
Your words echoed into my head
I didn't say a ******* thing.

And just before I could be carried away by the arms
From your pale white sheets and hospital tags
The ringing never really stopped only this time it finally came out of my mouth as vitriol.
You were gone just like that.

And the only life I had suddenly ended that day too.

-Kore

[ What are you here for? ]

                                            For things I should have finished long ago.

[ You can run while you still can. ]

                                                              ­                 I can't, I am exhausted.

[ There is still time. ]

                       Then I would have to abandon everything I hold dear.

[ But you would be alive. ]

                         What good am I alive if I cannot be with those I love?

[ So you accept your fate? ]

          It was meant to be the moment I stepped back into this world.

[ Your fate is in your hands. ]

              And those who have done wrong will always pay the price.

[ And what would your last request be? ]

                                                              ­               That a miracle happens.

[ A miracle? ]

                     I am ready to pay the price for my crimes but for today.

[ . . . ]

                                                     Just for today I wish I could be saved.

[ That is up to you. ]

                                                I can only hope that I am strong enough.

[ Only time will tell. ]

                                                              ­  Do you think I can make it out?

[ . . . ]

                                                        Can I make the heavens reconsider?

[ . . . ]

                                                              ­                                         I figured.

[ Remember. ]

                                                              ­                                                  Yes?

[ Your fate is now in your hands. ]



                                                      -Kore

I thought I was everything
and nothing all at once.
This world all spinning
To the direction of my blazing trails.

But I was a fool
I was always a fool to think so.
I let my blood run cold into the depths
of every body of water I could drown in.

And I thought it would be enough
I ran this world clutched under my fingertips
I believed I was above it all
And above every felony I could commit most of all.

But I believed in things
When I couldn't believe in myself
"The ends justify the means."
As I thought myself worthy of giving judgement.

But everything that goes around comes around
For who was I to call upon judgement
No mercy and no worth
All  under the guise of a wrathful and unforgiving God.

But I stand here before you now
Before the court, the jury, and the Gods
To sentence me now, a false prophet
For I once believed I was everything and nothing all at once.

I confess all my sins
And admit that I was a fool
I was a fool to think I could change something
That there was a meaning to everything I've done.

So lock me away
From everything I have ever hold dear
For nothing will be enough
To erase all my faults.

But isn't it punishment enough
That I've lost all I had?
Watched good men fall to dust.
And saw empires of what I've built collapse and rot?

I suppose it never ends
After all we carry all our atrocities
Even in death and rebirth
Forgiveness was never an option.

So maybe I'll just raise hell on this ******* earth every chance you allow me to.

-Kore

Where do you go
When the comforts that you thought you knew
Start to shatter like a glass of bitter whiskey
Underneath the weight of all the epiphanies

That perhaps you will never truly have
Anywhere to call home.
And you can only wander endlessly
As you walk out

Trying not to look back
As the familiarity tries to pull you in with its stinging warmth.
If one day maybe
They'll have the heart to accept you despite it all.

There you go again leaving everything behind.

But at this point, it's simply second nature to you isn't it?

-Kore

So I looked at the gods
And I look to the universe.
Where I begged for answers over and over again.

All to ask why you entered my life.
At this place, at this time.
When I was not ready to give love another chance.

You graced my world like a soundless crash.
Without warning I felt everything.
Suddenly you were here.

And I wish I didn't meet you,
At least not here, not now.
While I am in pieces within my fragments.

But when I look at your eyes.
Despite my world feeling like its towards its conclusion.
Everything feels like it makes sense.

That all the things I've lost
And all the things I've been deprived of
I had my answer after all.

And I curse the heavens and the gods once more.
I cry out at the universe looming over me.
Again I asked why.

But there were no answers to be found.
There was no point in asking the eternal vastness.
You were here.

No time, there was no space.
My psyche always broken into tiny shards.
There was nothing I could do to prevent the way.

You simply waltz into my life.
No sound, no way of telling.
I did not want to fall in love.

And in a last ditch attempt.
To throw away everything, hubris and all.
I try not to look back.

I asked the gods, the heavens, the universe.
Why?
Why here? Why now?

And with a cruel smile from the universe, all the answers I kept looking for simply faded away from me.

I am left with you, the thought of you.

Still no answers to be found except...

-Kore

Who am I to believe
That you won't leave me
With my heart still tearing
Fraying at the seams.

Who am I to believe
That you would follow me
All I can do is scream
At nothing, at only what I wish I could say.

You remind me of everything
All the regrets
And all the things I should have said
Stuck and lodged at the back of my throat.

If I begged you to stay
If you told me the truth
How will I know.
How pathetic I am.

I wish I was angrier
But all I feel are the tears
That ripple under my feet
Echoing all the doubt that I feel.

When will you leave.
When will I leave?
But I know if we did
I would stay waiting for nothing.

And I am in the dark again
Trying to forgive what you've done
But it only keeps hurting
It only keeps aching.

We promise we'd begin again
But who am I?
Who am I to believe you?
All I can hear from you now is lies.

The feelings I no longer wish to have
Come crashing down on me
Like my guilty conscience
At a confession booth.

Everything hurts, that's all I can really tell you now.

-Kore

Why did it have to be like this.
I was always meant for more.
No, I know I did.
I deserved better.

But it will never be over.
I know that now.
That what's happened has happened
And that there is more to come.

How the lines are laid out.
All set to stone, my fate in the hands
Of some omnipotent fool.
There's not a ******* thing I can do.

Maybe things will be better
That's what I always hope at least
Maybe this time, it never hurts to try doesn't it?
But honestly, who am I kidding?

There really isn't a single thing
I can do to change what's inevitably going to come
All I can do is do
What I've always done.

Drown in my self -pity like the coward that I am.

-Kore

I never realized until now.
How much you really changed me.
How much you really hurt me.

Its when I think about loving someone else.
I can only think of running away.
No matter how much I feel.

Even after everything.
I'm still trying to erase the memories you left behind.
Your shadow looms in my every step.

That maybe I do not deserve to love.
And maybe I never will.
I want to believe that I am wrong.

But not even the cards I shuffle in my hands will be able to prove me otherwise this time.

-Kore

Will my best ever be enough?

Will I ever heal?

Do I have to live the rest of my life like this?

Do I have to keep feeling like this?

How will I ever love again?

How can I ever trust anyone after what you've done?

Where did I go wrong?

Where is the happiness I so want to feel?

When did it start falling apart?

When will I finally leave this all behind?

Why do I feel nothing?

Why do I feel everything all at once?

What am I doing here still?

What did I do to deserve this?

Can I ever feel normal again?

Can I actually live my life, like this?

Who is at fault for this?

Who is there to blame other than myself?

Am I ok?

Am I perfect enough?

Will I ever be satisfied

Will I ever be happy again?

The questions only keep growing in the cell of disarray that is my mind.

Every single one fall on deaf ears.

-Kore

Perhaps I was never meant to be the hero of my story.
Heroes always die.
But I am still here
I can only wonder when it will be over.

Or if I am to be the tragic antagonist
In the story of another.
But one thing I can confirm
Is that heroes are never happy.

And regardless of whether I am
I certainly will meet a tragic end.
That's always how these things go.
I don't think my story was written with a happy ending in mind.

And thus one day
Just when things feel like they're finally
Finally going right for me.
I'm going to collapse again.

Maybe it is time for me to accept that things won't get better
and that they're only going to get worse from here.

-Kore

The pain never sets in
and I hope it never will.

But when midnight strikes
and my vision starts to shift.

No more comforting voices
to hold and soothe me.

No more reassurance
no more distractions.

Its at these hours of the night
that I can feel it staring bullets at my back.

And everything that's happened simply starts to collapse.

What's left of my sentient mind can only convulse
as I relive things that are better left unknown.

The misfortune in every coming of age
who would've guessed.

All I can wish at these times is that I were eternally dead.

-Kore

You were happy.

And I was supposed to be happy.

My gold leaf covered hands danced through every key and every scale.

Every symphony that you threw.

I gave you all that I could give.

The golden spotlight and rusting trophies that decorate your shelf.

You always wanted more.

But I'm afraid there was nothing more I could give.

You always wanted me here so why?

What did I do to deserve your shame and hatred.

Maybe you finally realized I was only plated with gold.

But thank you.

For scraping my dreams, my mind, and every hope I had for myself growing up.

Now I know that steel only bends under unimaginable pressure.

And I can walk away from you.

At last in the deep but soothing uncertainty that lays straight ahead of me.

Only having the hope that things will cool down eventually.

-Kore

"I gave birth to you so I can take you out of this world."

So do it then, I'll even hand you the knife you need to send me to an early grave.

Since you always know best don't you?

But let's be real you just don't have the guts to do it.

Maybe I should do it myself.

-Kore

All I can ever ask when you leave me

Was I enough?

Would I ever be enough?

People are always fascinated by me

Attracted to me.

Proclaiming that they will love me for all eternity.

And I can only sadly laugh at such mockery that fate keeps bestowing upon me.

Face it, for all of you who try to love me.

You cannot handle me.

In the end you will always leave me behind.

While I am stuck with the burden of trying to forget.

Your love is not enough.

And you only view me as your saving grace from this ****** world you only suffer in.

But I cannot save you.

To hell with your hero complex.

You most certainly can't save me either.

Love is not enough.

And I am not worth the trouble

-Kore

No matter what I eat or what I drink
All the vices and distraction.

Nothing can get rid of the bitter taste that you left behind.

Your promises and words leave their marks on my mind in the early hours of the morning.

Even after you've cut yourself off from me for my sake.

In the dawn of another sleepless night spent wasting away.
Only thinking about you.

My tired state can't even bear to dream, but I do anyway.

Of all the time we could've spent learning to love and uplift one another.

If only the both of us didn't have troubles as painful as the burn marks left behind by the coffee that spilled on my hand.

-Kore

Every moment that we have.
Our own small little world
That we often hide together in.

Yet I cannot help but be afraid.
As you sit beside me making promises.
Promises you cant keep.

You coat my eyes with honey.
The numbing feeling that keeps setting in.
You always know what to do.

But I know that promises
They are not meant to be kept.
Even as you sit next to me.

The dreadful feeling sinks into my depths.
As you hold my hand and swear to me.
All of you and what you'd do for me

It is only a matter of time as you walk away with your loss of warmth and fading dreams.

You cannot keep empty oaths as fragile as porcelain plates.

-Kore

Sight of mine dulled to nothing but red.
My aching fingers bleeding from the splayed out shards of glass.
Time and time again, this feeling will never truly fade.
The destruction that eases into every walk that I take.

The pent up pain that does not soothe
It only comes in waves of doubt and an ache that runs deeply through my body.
I can only sit in silence and wait for it to wash over  as the never-ending wrath bounces in the corners of the room.
No freedom found as I keep myself from lashing out.

My blood keeps dripping around my pooling ire.
To lock up such a monster that laps away at every upset and disappointment
There really is no telling when
The day it stops rocking back and forth the dark curtained bedroom I try to subdue it in.

The day my warm blood no longer satisfies the steely blue light that edges its existence.
And the way it bounces off of the crystal shards coated in crimson beneath my hands.
Alcohol has never truly worked for me as much as I wished it did.
What do I do when there is nothing I can do?

How will I cope when I can no longer keep from being violent?

-Kore

And what will happen when you leave me too?

Do I keep going or do I follow you?

Until I cant anymore.

As our bond always pulls me closer and closer to you.

Your gaze becomes inseparable with your warm and loving words.

It is torture to think that I could lose you too.

And when you walk away from my waking life I will stride every night in the ethereal plane.

Going to a place that we've always known and that only we will ever know.

Always to a home where things are better.

-Kore

Towards every sound, I can only move.

My eyes tied back masked in the fog.

No light shining through

No one to guide me.

Like a glacier in the vast abyss floating towards nothing.

Only accompanied by the echoes of yesterday.

-Kore

When will you realize that I am no longer who I used to be.

You rid me of the hope I had and the beauty I used to see in this cutthroat world.

Every word and hit you landed on me made sure of that.

You did not let me grow up and instead pushed me into the shallow looking waters thinking I would survive.

And you're right I did.

But at what cost?

Only my humanity of course.

How ironic it is that you wanted me to thrive and pour gold out of my waking life.

When I came out burning from sulfur and ashes.

No warning and no mercy, no.

You never taught me what that was.

All the expectations and dreams set into my very being with no thought of what it would take.

I am not your saving grace nor your chance for another life.

I am not made for your salvation, to make up for what you could not have.

I have always been so much more than that.

You birthed me from fuel and soot.

I was never meant to be what you predicted.

So do not come to me with your expectations of obedience I will never yield to your maltreatment.

I will never be molded into what you want of me.

-Kore