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3d · 26
Fry 3d
I just want to cry
While you hold me
Oct 15 · 19
Fry Oct 15
Hi grandma
I do miss you
And I’m sorry
I should have
Picked up the
Oct 11 · 21
The fork
Fry Oct 11
Everyday I see her or think of her I think of all the horrible things she’s done in our lives
But the one that sticks out always is my mom
Screaming ****** ****** at him and throwing a fork into the door
As he closed it trying to run away
Every morning waking up and seeing the fork still there
And my brother still gone
For a while not knowing where he was
Till I found out he was safe at my Grammys
One day the fork was gone and my brother eventually came back
He always came back to make sure I was okay
But the dent in the door even on good days I’d still look at it and not be able to move on from that day
I had seen my mom hit him
I seen her call him a *******
Yell at him
But never feel so angry
At the child she chose to have
That she willing to hurt him
In a way that would affect more than a few days
Her bruises are easy to hide
“I easily bruise”
“I get random bruises from running into things”
We could make up so many excuses
Stay there as her shinny trophies
On the stage next to her
Ready to preform in all her shows
Everyone remembers us as the best kids but he was always the one brushed off
He reached his age limit
I was still young enough to be the trophy to walk around with
The perfect kid
Who listened and stayed at attention always
Ready for your every command
Even at that age it felt wrong but I couldn’t  understand why
As I got older people grew up around few got glimpses at who she was trying to hide
The demon that she’s let take control
Most ignored some slowly distance
Now there people I can’t remember the names of
My mom would be proud of me for that
Some stuck around picked up on details and painted a picture showing exactly what that demon is
They were left behind
Never aloud to contact us again
Now her veil is gone the few staying close
Are the ones I fear
She thinks she can bring back the old friends but she forgets she now has someone pulling puppet strings
Or maybe this is truly who she’s always been
I just like to think I had it better before the day the fork hit that door
Oct 11 · 25
Fry Oct 11
The numbers increase but my image has gone down
Five...from how close I was before
Ten...from my goal
Maybe it’s meant to be this way
Maybe I’m meant to feel this way
There’s seems to be no options
What else can I do
No one will ever respond
Oct 3 · 21
Fry Oct 3
Why did I let those words
Pour out of my mouth
You didn’t want to hear them
You didn’t want to know that story
Yet I couldn’t stop telling you
I never got to tell anyone that
Sorry I forced you to listen
But thank you
It may seem small
But I had to tell someone
Oct 3 · 17
Fry Oct 3
A familiar topic
Sewed into the fabric of our family
I knew it ran through me
Yet I never thought
You would be the cause
I let you do this to me
I can’t keep blaming you
No matter if you pressured me
I chose to take those sips
I chose to let you control me
Oct 3 · 27
Channel 76
Fry Oct 3
I convinced myself
Creating an illusion
That tricked even my mind
That I had others
That would help me up if I fell
But I was wrong
It was a show played for someone’s
Fry Sep 18
The empty shame
That comes with it
That’s what I asked for by inviting you
To dine with me for the next few months
Time seems to go faster but I miss
Every moment I cherished before
Sep 18 · 24
Fry Sep 18
I’m tired

Of waking up everyday
At six am to no alarm

Of pretending I am not adding up
Each bite

Of keeping a smile on my face for you

Of trying to have the energy to
Leave you be
Sep 18 · 12
I haven’t told you
Fry Sep 18
Why haven’t I told you
Am I scared
You will make me feel
As though I don’t need to do this
That I can be okay without
Setting a number each day
Why haven’t I told you
Am I scared
You will feel
Concern for me
Knowing I hate doing this
Why can’t I tell you
Sep 18 · 91
220 trophy
Fry Sep 18
Max 500 used to be written on my arm
Every day
Sometimes stained on my face
The sharpie running in my sleep
Now I know
That was never realistic
I couldn’t just suddenly do that
But now
Only 220 today
I feel like I won a game
Against myself
I still get a trophy right?
Sep 11 · 16
Red yarn
Fry Sep 11
My string has been getting pulled
For years
Slowly but surely
I’m become a red ball of yarn
Maybe I was poorly knitted
In the first place
No matter how well the craftsmanship
You found the loose end
To wrap around your hook
And crochet into
Any item you decided
You needed that day
Sep 11 · 27
This moment
Fry Sep 11
A show I assumed
I would have breaks in between each one
But no this is one long movie
Never ending
No time to rest or reflect
I could pause it
Take a break
But somehow it’s entertaining
The chaos that I can’t even understand
Maybe the meaning is just that
We all get old
We all die
Time keeps moving without us
But that doesn’t explain it all
Maybe it’s not meant to be understood
Maybe we just sit through
To each moment
Presented to us
Not aloud to fast forward or rewind
No matter how much we want to skip
This moment
Sep 10 · 39
No sleep
Fry Sep 10
Every night
Words I can’t even understand
At max volume
The lights left on
As I roll over
You shake me awake
Now I have nothing
To use to decide
If I’m making the right decision
Sep 10 · 32
At least a text
Fry Sep 10
I know you want a message from me
Or at least a call
But I can’t summon
The strength
To pick up the phone
Sep 10 · 36
Steps Backwards
Fry Sep 10
Almost a week since I’ve picked them up
I could be on the path
Of being clean
Yet everyday it eats at me
I don’t remember how
I’ve ignored it
Maybe today is the day
I take the steps backwards
Sep 10 · 27
I’m a fuck up
Fry Sep 10
I have always said this
Since as long as I remember
“I’m a **** up”
I make mistakes all the time
As you accuse me of
Doing them on purpose
I question whether there mistakes
Or just me
Maybe this is how I will always be
Sep 10 · 24
Midnight Walk
Fry Sep 10
That’s how insignificant you are
You left
And no one noticed
Sep 10 · 22
Remember to smile
Fry Sep 10
I can’t take it seriously enough
I’m so bad at this
Why can’t I just time it right
My mind loses
Track of numbers so fast
Yet I still can remember to smile
So you can feel better
Sep 3 · 20
Fry Sep 3
If I stare into the darkness
Long enough
Will hope appear
Twinkling like stars
Will my eyes adjust
Is there nothing down
This path I’m walking
Sep 1 · 22
Please stay this time
Fry Sep 1
I messed up again
I made the same mistake
It didn’t feel as wrong in the moment
But now that I can see what I did
I know I messed up
I should have never told her about you
She can’t help in any way
And I missed you
Why would I make you leave again
Sep 1 · 22
Green bridge
Fry Sep 1
The green bridge
Standing so tall
Hanging over me
While I lean over the edge
Turning around
And there is no where left to go
No one to call
Who could hear me
Maybe this is how it’s supposed to be
Maybe this is supposed to be how it ends
Fry Sep 1
This is what I wanted right?
To have it be gone
I don’t know why I even tried to make
Myself feel better
When as soon as I was happy
I tried to ruin it
Maybe this is all my fault
I keep putting the blame on her
But maybe I’m the reason I feel this way
I don’t want to make myself better
Because I want this to be
The end
Sep 1 · 28
Fry Sep 1
Green the last color I’ll see
It used to be your favorite
But that changed
Everything has changed
I wish there was some way
I could go back
To when things seemed better
Aug 30 · 26
Old habits
Fry Aug 30
She will not notice
She never did before
You were like a serial killer
Who had to give themselves up
But I was your only victim
As long as I don’t make the same
I will get to have
The next 5 months
Seem nonexistent
Aug 30 · 23
14 hours
Fry Aug 30
Fourteen hours
Just to begin
That may seem long
But I’ve already
Prepared myself
Without timing it
Fry Aug 30
I didn’t forget about you
Not for a single day
Your timer was still going
You recorded every second
I scrolled back in the calendar
I used to have you time me
Every day
For 24 hours straight
Give an hour
Between timers
And begin again
Each time
Was another to beat
Now I need to begin again
The fun games you play with my mind
I can make it longer every day
The game that made time seem
Aug 29 · 22
I need
Fry Aug 29
I remember that ride
Like it wasn’t years ago
Driving away from
My safe house
He tried to take me
Yet you still
Asked where I wanted to be
You said no matter what
You just wanted me to be happy
But now even when
I write out what I need
With the tears streaming down my face
You still tell me
Aug 29 · 10
Fry Aug 29
Somehow I knew
Your words meant nothing
Your apologies
Were rehearsed
You made excuses but
I still was willing to accept it
Until you did it again
Several times
Why couldn’t you at least
Wait a few months
Then I could be tricked
That it was my fault
Aug 29 · 13
It isn’t my fault
Fry Aug 29
The pain has faded
Yet I still
Question if it was my fault
Maybe I said the wrong words
Maybe I pushed you to far
Maybe I made you do it
I have to remember
You chose to raise your hand
You chose to make a fist
You chose to strike me

It isn’t my fault
Aug 29 · 17
Fry Aug 29
My moment of solitude
You still
Find some way to send me your notes
No more than a picture
You still make me feel guilt
You still make me feel like I’m at wrong
Even though I am so far from you
Aug 27 · 419
I Ruined Them
Fry Aug 27
I borrowed
Your gold
Pearl lined
You told me to snip each line
With them
I tried to cut your rope
Yet my tears
Seemed to have rusted them
They no longer shine
Reflecting a false image
Of you
Aug 27 · 41
Fry Aug 27
Losing my voice
As I keep letting it out
Each second another
String I’m snipping


I can’t do that
You sit next to me
They share walls with me
Everyone would hear it
Aug 27 · 37
Fry Aug 27
Scrolling past each name
Trying to not find the one
I could text
Hopefully one that could change my mind
Aug 27 · 71
Fry Aug 27
Will come quicker
If I close my eyes
Tomorrow will be filled
With more false smiles
As I clench my jaw
Enduring the pain
In my head
Because I have to work so hard
To not make your day bad
Aug 27 · 28
Fish bowl
Fry Aug 27
Windows surrounding me
As I try to drift off
In the parking lot
Behind the apartment
You sleep so soundly in
Aug 27 · 35
Gold Trophy
Fry Aug 27
I wish I were better
The perfectly polished
You always wanted
I wish I was gold shining
Bright enough
To blind you from
His scuffs
I wish I could
At least make
His life better
Aug 27 · 33
Fry Aug 27
I could message you
Go back to when you would help
But the thoughts filling your mind
I shouldn’t add
To your list
A burden
All that’s left behind
I’ve left my shell behind
And now I visit
Hoping soon
It will be fine to be back
Yet it feels like that day will never come
Aug 27 · 23
You deserve happiness
Fry Aug 27
I remind everyone
Every day
How they deserve
Every good thing
And so much more
Yet I can’t justify
Me deserving anything
I do deserve
The life I’m stuck with
Why keep fighting to change it
Aug 27 · 55
Empty words
Fry Aug 27
Scrolling back weeks
Thinking I’ll find
Some word that will
Remind me why I’m here
But no matter how far I scroll
They seem to be empty promises
Left behind
Aug 27 · 29
Two Years
Fry Aug 27
Two years
Till I officially
Can leave
Two years
Till you say you will
Move across the country
Two years
Seems very far away
Two years
Many things can change
Aug 18 · 33
The end.
Fry Aug 18
This is the end of
The story
It could be a happily ever after
But this is the wrong genre
I don’t live in a Disney film
There birds don’t sing
To keep me happy

The end
Aug 18 · 20
The cliff
Fry Aug 18
I keep climbing up the cliff
Even when I see the stones
You throw down
They may make me slip
But I just climb again
I’m starting to feel tired though
My muscles are becoming sore
What is at the top
What do you not want me to see
Aug 18 · 27
When will this stop...
Fry Aug 18
The future
It weighs on my chest
Knowing that
I will feel the same
For three more months
Maybe it won’t end there
Maybe this is the new normal
Aug 18 · 24
More than money
Fry Aug 18
I don’t know how much I would pay
But I would give more than money
To have a pack
And be at your house
Giving you a hug
Getting to sleep in a room
That was meant for me
That has been set aside for me
I would still take one and enjoy
Each drag while sitting on your steps
Aug 18 · 244
Fry Aug 18
In a room full of people
Yet I go invisible
No glances to me
No words spoken my way
I am gone
But still have to endure
Physically being here
Aug 18 · 28
Missing Path
Fry Aug 18
Where’d the sidewalk go
I used to wonder this
As I flipped through the pages
Hoping one of them would
Answer the riddle I created
Now all I ponder
Is why my next step
Seems to sink me
Lower and lower
Aug 18 · 32
It will all continue
Fry Aug 18
Maybe it doesn’t matter
There was more to that thought
But I don’t think it matters
The stars will keep shining
So any words
I write don’t matter
Any thing I do doesn’t matter
Aug 18 · 27
You Are Not The Queen
Fry Aug 18
I refuse to be a pawn
In your game
Telling me which way to go
Making me break the rules
And always step backwards
I refuse to let you
I will do everything in my
Power to make sure I
Come back
And to make sure
I can leave for the last time
Aug 18 · 32
The fall
Fry Aug 18
High up in the skies
The demons bellow
Seem so small
They seem weak
You could defeat them all
In one fatal swoop
But your fuel runs out
You always go back to how you felt
You always go back to what you did
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