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A profusion of tributaries pulse within
surge and fall away so swiftly
who I am becomes a question
I can only answer when I throw myself
into the great and powerful now
by tracing them on these pages.
 Jun 2019 Carl Velasco
Benjamin
Stale air, claustrophobe—
a terrible fit for a coffin,
this person—
he can languish here.

A good warmth, the kind
you feel after bourbon
deep in your chest, yes,
a very good warmth—
the kind you won’t find here.

Here, is where, as gentlemen say,
“the wicked rest”
as there is, indeed,
no such rest for men like that.

I am wicked, I suppose,
wicked in my own way, so
I deserve the test.
I will languish here.
There are leads on my chest
to detect any vagaries within
but you are the best heart monitor
circulating in the deep vessels and chambers
checking what pulses and moves in me.
I trust you there
in the darkest parts of me
where life wanders.
In the hospital to monitor how my heart reacts to a new medication. I love writing about my “heart” issues weaving in both meanings of the word
 May 2019 Carl Velasco
Benjamin
in deep tissue
I remember things
that must have happened when
I was someone else
in another life

a cause irritant
entrenched because
it flows out from me,
or my mouth, at least,
at certain times

I couldn’t say
if I knew the story
from staring at these
Kodachromes
I’d kept in storage

or if I’d really
died before
and been reborn,
to bleach the cancer
so I could sleep better.
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