Never will it be said
That she was a genius.
Never will it be said
That she was talented.
Never will it be said
That she spoke kindly.
Never will it be said
That she was beautiful.
Never will it be said
That she carried value.

What will be said
Is that she was normal.
That she was average.
That she was capable
of ******* everything up.
That she didn't try enough,
didn't achieve enough,
didn't listen to what
would have saved her soul.
What will be said
Is that she wasn't terrible,
just mean.
Is that she wasn't stupid,
just dumb.
Is that she wasn't a gem,
just a pebble.

Scuffed soul,
scuffed body.
Imperfections layered
to cover the disappointments
of never being
anything
of worth.

Stop
stop
stop
stop
the blasted noise is killing my head
pounding
pounding
pounding
pounding
why won't it stop
no matter where I turn
I can't breath
in
out
inhale
exhale
choke
no don't choke
keep going
keep breathing
just a little longer
hold tight
oh so tightly
onto your sanity
don't pull the trigger
on no please don't pull the trigger
you'll regret that bullet
that finally made it all
stop
stop
stop
stop

I'm in need of a sunshine holiday
a break from the unending rain
that makes the sidewalks slippery
because I often find myself slipping
and falling
even though I try so hard
to catch myself
I've never had balance in my life
so I guess it makes sense
to pick myself back up again
because that's easier than trying to stop yourself
in the first place
mistakes can be recovered from
and if you never fall prey
to bad decisions
how do you ever expect to learn

Oh darling how I've missed you
your satin smile
your endless eyes
tame soul encompassing passion
but I've realized I need a wild heart
with a smiling sentiment
someone who proclaims their love
instead of whispering it into paper
someone who gives
a little more of themselves each day
for me to fall in love with
and oh how far I have fallen
but I'm learning to catch myself
so I've pushed myself away from you
toward a new start

It hits you like a bullet all of a sudden but so expectedly you think it funny you didn't figure it out sooner
the extent of my love for you
I only just realized
I should have noticed when my sun moved
from the sky to beside me
entwining fingers with shining eyes that envelope me in a warmth penetrating my chest
and lying dormant
until I need it in your absence
you've illuminated the darkness
that once consumed me
and now I just want to bask
in the very essence of you
and this epiphany

I missed you today,
A little more than yesterday
But not as much
As I'll miss you tomorrow.

My hands are tied in knots
To sweet slicked railings
I'm slipping
Slipping
Dig your nails in deeper
to my consciousness
So I can hold on just a little longer
Before I fall into a deep desired
chasm
So hot
it sends chills down my spine
I'm drowning in touches
Breathing in vibrations
Eyes are meant for devouring devotions
Tangled in blanket waters

Kiss my pen harder
so my words imprint deeply
upon the sheets

If you're the sun
Then I'm the moon
And I've always loved you
In some form or another
Moonlight is still sunlight
It just depends on how you look at it
And I've been turning my head sideways
Trying to see you differently
But no matter how I change
my angle
You still hang upside down
A fresh perspective
in a universe that obeys the laws
of human reasoning
You're a halo in a world of horns
You light up a room
Better than any store-bought chandelier
There is no replacement for authentic passion
Classic daring
Vintage charm
Pulling me to you like gravity
Cause if you're the sun
then I'm the moon
And I only wish to shine for you