Oh!
There she is!
I found you!

If I can't come closer
Then I'll stay still.
Hope to God
I don't have to watch you fly away
But if you do,
I will.
I'll always await your return.
I'm just a bird watcher and
You,
The rare bird.

I might dislike the distance but
I like you just as you are
And if I can't come closer,
I'll love you from afar.

Without the world around me,
I am a different being,
If a being at all.

I am just a character
built from experiences.
And pieces of those memories
stuck to form all that I am.

It's like every creative bone
In my body has cracked and dried.

Artist's osteoporosis.

Turning into hollowed shells
And even typing this now
Feels dead and empty.
As if pointless
Because there is no heart.

I crash all too often
With no idea how to get back up.

I'm tired.
So soul tired that nothing ******* matters.
Yet it's funny to me the way my anxiety reminds me constantly
Of everything I'm terrified to lose.

It's like I can never win with you
Brain.

It's always a lose-lose
And the positive affirmations always feels
Like drinking medicine.

Sickly sweet and a fake *** remedy.