I had a dream that there was something inside it felt like a bubble only whole like rock it held me down to earth in a heavy warm way yet I felt light like I could be carried off in the wind at desire, and it gave me fear but I wasn't afraid only curious because it also gave me something I've never felt, it was constant and consistent with what I could only describe as joy, it made me feel lost so I searched everywhere in my dream for the source. At first I thought it was place so I traveled to every place I had ever been then I thought maybe it was face so I welcomed memories of past love and became flooded with several specific scenes like I was in a TV changing channels and several times I thought I had came close, but as the last person faded, darkness surrounded I had awoke, to my surprise I felt as if I was still in my dream. As I lay in the dark and felt it necessary to type this before much like all my dreams they fade into haze, and in this moment I came to an epiphany. It was no place, it was no person; in fact, it was no object in this world. It was us, it was not the things we did, done, or could do. It was us in the simplest light, it was our mind wrapped in body and soul, it was the way we made each other feel in every tiny little moment entwined with it like held hands laced, these tiny moments walked side by side to create this feeling inside. In these words whispered in my thoughts "love is every perfect moment" I lost all fear. True moment isn't something that can ever be taken, only given.


I knew that I'd always have this; I knew it was the perfect moment and it was intrinsic.

Too lazy to be ambitious,
I let the world take care of itself.
Ten days' worth of rice in my bag;
a bundle of twigs by the fireplace.
Why chatter about delusion and enlightenment?
Listening to the night rain on my roof,
I sit comfortably, with both legs stretched out.

My mother thinks I'm a doctor
I just don't have the guts
To tell her I spent all my college doe
On beer, wine, women and such

So after I faked my graduation
Said I was moving to the South
To help the less fortunate among us
Another lie I let slip out

I'm now in the south of Florida
Where some may call me a ***
Living in a citrus grove along the coast
Not answering to anyone

It's really not such a bad life
This do nothing life I've made
I hear my Moms proud of me at afternoon tea
Telling the girls of all the lives I save

I do my share of dumpster diving
That's where I got the idea
Behind a real doctors office one day
With some of their stationary I nabbed

I did a little doctoring
After all I do play one in Moms mind
Doesn't look to lame where I inserted my name
Then wrote my Mom about the kids and the wife

I've created such an elaborate charade
It's now gotten all out of hand
As I panhandle my way up and down
The Sunshine states surf and sand

Mom now says she wants to visit
Can't wait to meet the wife and kids
Don't know how I let it get this crazy
And how it all lead up to this

Now I'm scrambling to find a vacant house and a woman
With a couple of kids that look just like me
That can go along with a ruse for a week in mid-June
Since I told her that's when  I'd be free

I'm thinking I should of studied in college
Instead of being this mind numbing huckster
Telling lie after deepening lie
Just so my Mother would think I'm a doctor

there are no holes in my mind
there are small dents
in my words and feelings
time won't be able to heal them
because they're not broken
just slightly forgotten
in my conscious  
yet if you look
into my subconscious
you'll see all the skyscrapers
that aren't visible to me
so please tell me
if i'm as beautiful as
the alphabet formed
into worthy poetry

Take a picture.
Freeze the moment.
Catch it in a butterfly net and put it in a jar.
Snag the sunshine.
Hold it in your heart.
Keep it safe in a nest of forgotten daydreams.
Send a murmured song of contentment
Floating towards the horizon.
Let it catch the light just so-

Preserve the sun-dappled hills.
The sparkling brilliance of the
Ocean.
Caressing the shore,
A musical blue.

That lone bird
Soaring in the midst
Of an azure peace.

Frame the feeling of completion.
Of happiness.
Hold it close in the heart of the storm.

Be wild
Be free
So to leave the hollowed masses blushing
With reminders of forgotten roots

Tear clothing from imprisoned flesh
And let light nestle back
Into ruins abandoned not through time
But for ugly Godful shame

Savagely unhinge choking steel doors
And let loose a fiery green
Send forth flames of growth
And sparking soul
Leaping high into the night
Taunting the darkness
Beyond the reach of Jove

Light pagan candles
And chant ritualistic
Prayers of Yes

Gatsby was in love;
completely infatuated
with another being

The way he looked at her
with his anxious eyes
exhibited a love that couldn't be greater
And
the words he spoke
emitted such fondness
for her rosy lips against his
as he whispered sweet stories
that he irresistibly imagined
of their future together

he fell so in love--
he fell so tragically and desperately
in l o v e--
he lost himself completely
and became absent
in his own consciousness
trusting false hopes,
refusing to let go of what would
never be his
and if this insanity is what they call
true love--
if this is what one experiences
when such passion takes over--
then I, too
have gone Gatsby for you.