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We are not taught to grieve
Children born into idealism
With no safety net
For our fallen hopes
And broken hearts

They teach us to cast our wishes
Into the stars, tossed down a well
But weary are we who now know tragedy
Who learned to befriend it at a young age

We are not taught to grieve
So this hurt is held close and felt fiercely
Like a phantom limb
Aching and shaking me awake

I want to dream of him and make it real
Seventeen and so proud
The loudness of your life creeps into mine
I can hear my own laugh echo in your ears
That one single moment refuses to fade

I really wish you were here.
Fit in or stick out
Sickening sweetness
Shoved down the throat
So cookie cutter
With a rotten taste
On the tip of my tongue
That I can't quite name
But will always
Make soft shapes that
Remind me of you.
I want a restful sleep
Dreams of pure color
Floating orbs
& Only light

Instead I wake
Heavy breaths
Of burdened bodies
A lingering nightmare

There is a darkness
I wish to name
Take some power away
Given to a girl I once knew

It pleasures guilt.
It sleeps with shame
& keeps its silence.
Convince yourself you are a weapon
So you create destruction
So you destroy creation
Wield a double-edged sword
That's sharpened toward your own skin
Wish I could turn it all around
Wear all the wounds you try to hide
Tear myself apart
Escape the dull scrape of scared heart
Don't you know that hurt happens?
So afraid to leave a mark
On a world we were never even meant for.
Keep on running
In this mirror maze
Reflecting reminders
Of a lazy morbidity
Pounds of flesh
Pull on your sweater
Sing a sweet song
So you don't have to notice
The weight of your choices
Wait. Let's be children
Kids don't get cat-calls
On their way to the bus stop
Or hate themselves
For the way they weigh
I am in love with this life
But the price is heavy
Holds itself in pounds of flesh
That spread this sliver
Into a gaping wound
That I cannot conceal any longer
And now I wonder
If there will come a time
Where I simply cannot carry it.
I do not know how we got here.
You came over me quickly
Like a dream I never intended.
Only now I've not woken up.
Nor do I want to
I'll dream of you over and over
And forget about my reality.
Come here
Little one
Sit in my lap
Take this weight
And carry it for awhile
Listen here
Dear one
Don't dare say a word.
Bite your lip and quiver.
These troubles,
They're yours now
Let me unload on you
Precious feather.
Now tell me,
Why are you so heavy?
 Jul 2016 charley gwenn
 Jul 2016 charley gwenn
Isn't it lovely
When pervy men
Pop up in your DM box
And try to make you feel
That you are a failure

Someone's pen
Is thicker than his ****
I am terrible with time
Sometimes I'll slip into a moment
And I won't come to for hours
I used to get lost there
Chasing clouds
And sunsets around the bend
Breadcrumbs in an enchanted wood
And most times I still do
Only these days
There is not a moment
Nor hour
When you are not with me.
You were an angel
Amongst wolves
Clung to the doctrine
Kept the demons at bay
Fought them and formed a new family
And now you lay down the laws
Keep me safe like you never could
Dress me up a thousand ways
But I will never be the one you wished for
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