Chamilla Colton

Chamilla Colton Mar 2018

maybe if i wrote with all lowercase letters
my poetry would seem more appealing.
shorter descriptions
and longer titles.
more relatable with a deeper meaning
because there isn't proper grammar involved.
just proper spelling.
no commas
just
period
.
.
.
after
period
.
.
.

Chamilla Colton Mar 2018

"This is How You Make Me Feel"

with you, i am unstoppable.
with us, we are invincible against all odds.

Chamilla Colton Mar 2018

"Labels"

I know.
I look like some sleezy, 17 year old in a pencil skirt. Located behind a movie theatre concessions stand.
I know I look like a girl, who's only here to 'dress to impress'.

I understand you know what I mean when I say that.
I can see that hateful gleam in your eye when you look at any 17 year old female employee at a movie theatre.

But I know that every hateful gleam is different and the one you give me is beyond hatred.
You must think that I'm dressing out of my way, to snag a guy or two and you're afraid that your boyfriend is one of my targets.

He knows how to cover up his hatred.
But because of my short, shaggy, haircut, he must think that I'm dressing out of my way to snag a girl or two. And he's afraid that his girlfriend is one of my targets.

The thing is, I wasn't 'dressing to impress'.
I wasn't 'dressing out of my way' to snag you and your boyfriend into a little **** trap of mine.

If I was dressing to impress anybody, it would be the person standing behind me.
Wondering what's up my skirt and between my thighs and if they could just have one little taste.
And I wouldn't even complain because I've been wondering what they've got. So I have just as much of a guilty pleasure for them, as they do for me.

But because I wear a tight skirt that defines my hips, doesn't mean I want your boyfriend to unzip it, open it up to take me from behind.
And because I wear button up blouses, doesn't mean that I want your husband to eagerly watch me unbutton it to reveal black lace that can be torn off my body and have him violate me in ways I've never felt before.

Just because I dress accordingly and test out whether or not my clothing choices are appropriate for the dress attire for my job, doesn't mean I am some sleezy, 17 year old, theatre employee, *****.

The everyday rant of a 17 year old theatre employee

Chamilla Colton Feb 2018

"Just Starting"

Meditate.
Breathe in,
Breathe out,
Relax.
.....

How easy is it to meditate?
How can it be that easy to calm down all the atoms in your body?
How is it so easy for you to not want to touch every molecule that moves differently than all the others?

To calm down Avogadro's Number,
to the steadiness of your breathing, and the low bass of your heartbeat.
.....

Taking in the sound of crickets chirping,
even though you comprehend on a whole new level of understanding that you absolutely hate that sound.
.....

Instead of erasing, you cross things out because you now all too well how much of a perfectionist you are with a completely blank canvas.
.....

You don't like the way your hand shakes with anticipation when you feel that spark of inspiration to write.

You're just so eager to tell everything that doesn't make sense in an antique notebook.
Just until you get to the bottom of the page.

Hesitant to turn the page because you don't quite know if you want to keep writing your nonsense pieces of art.

You don't quite know if your inspirations of originality disappeared for vacation,
Or if it's attempting to find a new ****** expression to wow it's crowd.

But you're only trying to fill in spaces,
Not with just words that oddly mean something to you,
But to get your point across.

Chamilla Colton Feb 2018

Six Words

What's with old people and weather?

Feb 2018

Gillian Askeland

911

As she lies on the bathroom floor with a pill bottle in her hand. She doesn’t realize so many people adore her, love her, and look up to her.

She felt so alone and so unwanted. She was fighting this battle no one knew about.

She never understood why it happened to her out of all people.

She was tired, so she took her mothers pills and locked herself in the bathroom. She ran a hot bath and washed her face and hair. When she got out she decided to do her makeup and put on her mother’s favorite dress. She made sure she unlocked the door for when her parents came home. She took a piece of paper and a pen,

“Dear momma and poppa,

I love you both so very much. But this world is just not my place. My wings are already here waiting to come out. I’m sorry I hurt you oh so very much. But I’ll be looking down on you. I’ll always be here. Just hug your pillow tighter and you’ll make it through the night. Watch for a white dove. Because every time you see a white dove that’ll be me checking up on you. This was not your fault. I love you oh so very much.

Sincerely,

Your beloved child.”

Little did her parents know that their only child was gone. She was gone… She took the pain away.

“Jocelyn, honey where are you?”

“Jocelyn”

“911, whats your emergency?”

-Gillian Askeland

Feb 2018

Gillian Askeland

The Funeral

It’s my funeral today. I’m scared to go.

After a couple hours, I’ll be on the ground with dirt on top of me. People will walk over me again.

I’m scared to go to the afterlife. I’m showing up today and I want to give everyone hugs and tell them I’m still here! But I can’t.

I’m gone. I’m pale with my makeup done and in my mother’s favorite dress that I owned. (I didn’t really like that dress) but that’s the dress I died in.

I overdosed in that dress. I wanted my mom to see me one more time while I was still able to be held in her warm loving arms.

I feel bad for passing the pain onto my parents.

But they are strong. Whenever they see a white dove they will know it’s me.

Time to go and see all the crying faces that made me do it.

There are so many people. Even the mean girls are crying. The jocks who used me and called me a **** is crying.

I miss them actually. I want to give everyone in the room a hug and tell them I’m still here!

But I can’t because it’s too late.

-Gillian Askeland