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Oct 2012 · 654
hopeful
CG Abenis Oct 2012
My yesterdays were happiness
Today is pain
Tomorrow I still have heartaches
But next days or months will be the end of my days of rain
Oct 2012 · 6.2k
your smile
CG Abenis Oct 2012
You smiled at me; so mind blowing
It always ran inside my head;
Each day and night when we're together,
You never failed me; you gave me that smile
again as I expected.

But your phone beeped once, then twice, then thrice
I saw you smiling but a bit different
My heart sank to the ground,
I **** was jealous.

Your smile was a bit different,
More meaningful and cuter,
You never gave that to me,
Yes, you never did.
You never did.

Later I found out, it was from your girlfriend.
Oct 2012 · 1.0k
filthy, selfish heart
CG Abenis Oct 2012
My heart desired a heart that loves,
a heart that cares more than a lust,
It didn't care of a happy start,
My heart's a filthy, selfish heart.

It takes and breaks someone else's dream
It binds the shadows,
It makes you scream,
My heart is wicked, dark and stingy,
My heart's a filthy, selfish heart.

It steals, it breaks, it makes you cry
It destroys relationship,
It makes you die
Just to get what it desires
My heart's a filthy, selfish heart.
Oct 2012 · 894
Love - Hate
CG Abenis Oct 2012
A heart that is fooled,
Is a heart that continues loving in the form of hate.
Oct 2012 · 664
puzzled
CG Abenis Oct 2012
Hypnotized by thine eyes
Under your spell I was lured
Amazed by your tempting voice
And in your arms I felt secured;
You caught my heart with your bait,
You made me beg you to stay
And now that you totally caught your prey
Here I fall down on my knees,
Left behind and broken.
May 2012 · 793
untold reason
CG Abenis May 2012
Since the day I left you my mind
drifts away each day
and I don't know, I don't understand
'cause my heart and my brain
never stop arguing.
and since the day that I left
your memories always haunt me,
making me remember everything that
we did in every step of our way.

I was too weak and I felt that I'm
no good for you,
I even think I don't deserve to tell you
I love you
'cause with what I did
everyday is a shattered glass
'cause everyday, I know I break your heart.

I wanted to come back to you
but I would be selfish if I do,
'cause I know your not the kind of man
I'm going to marry,
Definitely not you
'cause though I love you,
I don't think that we're meant for each other,
And this is the reason why I left you.
May 2012 · 455
true pain is felt when...
CG Abenis May 2012
you've
found
the
right
person,
yet,
he
could
never
be
yours.
Apr 2012 · 495
i miss you
CG Abenis Apr 2012
Each day I listen to the
songs in my playlist,
But all I could ever think of is you.

And everytime I eat in my favorite
restaurant, still I'm reminded of you.

Every corner of the street,
even inside my house and in my room,
still memories of you remain.

I've no escape.
Your memory haunts me.
And everyday is like a hell...

I now realized,
I can't really live without you!
Apr 2012 · 437
my heart says
CG Abenis Apr 2012
I tried to stay and be happy with you
Give back the love and kindness you gave to me,
And give you the happiness you deserve,
But I'm sorry, my heart is now the one talking,
It says I have to let you go.

I don't hate you,
I even appreciate your efforts just to make me stay
And the more I didn't want to hurt you,
'cause you'd be half dead,
I know you will.

I witnessed how you surpassed the challenges,
Just to make others think that they're wrong with
what they think about you,
Everyday you proved to me how much
important I am to you,
But now, my heart says
I've got to let you go.
Apr 2012 · 687
overdosed
CG Abenis Apr 2012
It just happened,
this admiration intensified,
feelings gets me dissatisfied,
'cause in my mind,
it's always you.

I throw a joke everytime I see you,
And tell you how much I like you
and would want to kiss you,
but since we're friends,
saying it seriously would be awkward.

But this feeling, it makes me choke
as days pass by,
'cause the feelings that need
to be voiced out
Almost filled my throat.

Yes, you're my boyfriend in facebook,
Yet, in reality, you're not.
We held hands, slept and ate together
for a month and a week
when we're in another city,
But you're not serious with it.

It all started in a joke,
But to me, it felt real
and would always remain
real in my heart.

You're like a medicine,
You got me addicted to you,
A medicine that I wouldn't wish to stop,
Though I know I already got overdosed.

But I'll taper myself down,
To not to suffer from withdrawal,
I might forget you then,
I still don't want it to happen.
Apr 2012 · 565
not for me
CG Abenis Apr 2012
Each day I wake up with a broken heart,
When I hear your precious voice carried by the wind,
With a sweet melody filled with sounds of joy and happiness
As you sing that sweet song for her.
And when those hazel eyes glare at my side,
But not for me, but for that girl from behind,
Blue skies turn into gray,
Blue skies turn into gray.
Mar 2012 · 431
what has become of us?
CG Abenis Mar 2012
The cool wind began to blow,
making our love numb and cold,
when our bodies no longer feel the heat of love,
just pain, loneliness and sorrows.

The dancing moonlight of long ago,
became a burden from the past,
for you and I seek light from it,
And just like the moon, our light didn't long last.

Stabbing pain both hearts have felt,
Dark clouds, lightning and thunder storms,
clashed within a blink of an eye,
music faded, so as love.
Mar 2012 · 1.4k
kill myself to survive
CG Abenis Mar 2012
Suppressing the truth,
leaving everything to the unconscious mind,
I still lay on the bed by your side,
continued losing my dignity, hopes and dreams,
I stay beside you just to make a living.

Sacrificing my own happiness,
still managing to make a smile,
when I'm with you, I hold back my tears,
just to make you satisfied,
I fulfill your wish.

Killing myself and losing everything,
You clench my neck, I choke to death,
I grasp for air to make a living,
I **** myself to survive.
Feb 2012 · 1.6k
no hopes, no dreams
CG Abenis Feb 2012
I walk towards the roads of the darkest paths,
Where light of silver moon is nowhere to find,
With no hopes and dreams and morning light,
Only sorrows and agony, and despair.

Darkness swallows my thoughts and will,
And shadows crawl hiding my strength
I hid between the night and day,
With nothing but dreams taken far away.

My hopes had dried, no rain to fill,
Wounds of broken pieces no chance to heal,
'cause each day my world is engulfed by darkness,
No hopes, no dreams would grow in me.
Feb 2012 · 426
when we fight
CG Abenis Feb 2012
I cry on my knees
and carry the weight of the world
but suddenly forgets every bad feeling
when I see you smiling at me.
Feb 2012 · 454
figment
CG Abenis Feb 2012
You ran so fast
And disappeared right before my eyes
I searched for you,
But ended up finding nobody.
Feb 2012 · 427
without knowing
CG Abenis Feb 2012
We're friends,

We kid around,

Exchange laughs,

unknowingly

f
  a
     l
       l
          i
             n
                 g


s   s   l   l   o  o   w  w   l    l   y   y. . .
Feb 2012 · 368
at least
CG Abenis Feb 2012
I failed,
but at least
now
I've learned my lessons!
Feb 2012 · 1.9k
grandmother
CG Abenis Feb 2012
Your hair is white now
and your skin, it's getting dry and wrinkled
but for me, your still the most beautiful woman,
grandmother.

Your bones are brittle now,
and your joints, they're aching,
but for me, your still the strongest woman,
grandmother.

Your ears can't hear now,
and your eyes, they're no longer 20/20 in visual acuity,
but for me, your still the best listener
and the best person who sees and understands my true feelings,
grandmother.

Yes you're old now,
and your days are almost up,
but for me, you're still young and would eternally live
in my heart forver,
grandmother.

I love you!
Feb 2012 · 399
Don't you get it?
CG Abenis Feb 2012
I hated you

therefore, I love you,

Hope you understand!
Feb 2012 · 609
courage
CG Abenis Feb 2012
I'm human,

wings, I've none,

still
ain't afraid to fly.
Feb 2012 · 641
brain vs. heart
CG Abenis Feb 2012
Two organs,
both delicate and important,
they're best friends,
and both are good advisers.
But when it comes to love,
both are best enemies,
for brain always wants to leave
but the heart always wants to love.

Heart pumps blood to brain,
Brain sends impulses to the heart,
both co-function,
and yet, have different reactions.

She's more confused now,
"Which to follow?"
she always asks,
but she ends up always being ambiguous,
for knowing that she must leave him
but feeling that she loves him even more.

Later, brain would seem to be overpowered by heart
'cause though brain is the commander,
the heart always has something in it
that's hard to resist even how much neurons
is sent by the brain to feel the opposite.

And when she's unable to control,
both important organs
will be damaged,
and then she loses it all.
Feb 2012 · 333
Untitled
CG Abenis Feb 2012
I lost my heart,
and later I found out
It's been stolen by you.
But still, I'm glad you did. :)
Feb 2012 · 765
express
CG Abenis Feb 2012
Speak your feelings to the moon,
Don't wait for death to take your life soon
when you'll choke to death,
your heart would stop beating,
with airway blocked and breathing gone, fleeting.
Feb 2012 · 416
you replied...
CG Abenis Feb 2012
"You told me to taste
your love even just for once
Now, I beg for more."
refer to "i told you..."
the poem I wrote before this one. :)
Feb 2012 · 458
i told you...
CG Abenis Feb 2012
******* love first
Before deciding
to ***** it out.
Please then read "you replied..."
It's the poem I wrote after this.
Feb 2012 · 587
i want to be with you
CG Abenis Feb 2012
Fill me;
I'm thirsty for your love.

Fly me;
I wanna reach the skies above.

Kiss me;
I wanna feel your lips.

Love me;
It's my ever long - time wish.

Stay with me;
I'd be lost without you.

Take me;
Anywhere you wanna go, I want to be with you.

Just make me yours;
And I'll give everything,
my everything to you,
to you only and
no one else but you.
Feb 2012 · 934
i'm no puppet, i'm a human
CG Abenis Feb 2012
He tells me to do this and to do that,
I follow his orders no matter how fool I become
I just can't let my body follow my brain,
It's like a string is attached in every part of my body,
And he becomes the ruler of my entire movements.

He tells me to do this and do that,
No matter how hard it is for me,
I have no choice, I just do my part.

But freedom
is what I shout!
Freedom
is what I want!

As you can see, there are no marks in my body,
No evidences that I've been ******* with strings,
No evidences that I've been controlled by my puppeteer.

But why can't I say no to his commands,
Why can't I not follow everything he says?

As you can see
I have body like yours,
As you can hear,
I have a voice echoing in this place like yours
And as you can feel in my chest,
I have a heart that beats like yours.

Am I puppet?
( no )
I'm not a puppet,
I am a human!

But if I'm not,
maybe I'm just a puppet trapped in a human's soul.
Feb 2012 · 372
why
CG Abenis Feb 2012
why
Short and just simple
yet
the hardest
question to answer.
Feb 2012 · 633
before you judge me
CG Abenis Feb 2012
Look at the mirror
and reflect...

we're just the same..
we're not supposed to judge others easily because all of us are just the same... ----------------------- capable of committing mistakes but just in different way and different situations.
CG Abenis Feb 2012
Looking at the picture we took in Bohol
15 years ago, I was still 3years old and you were 5.
We were still cute little children
who raised our brows while looking at
the opposite direction, with hands crossed
and avoiding each other.

You were wearing your blue t-shirt
that I've hated for the entire year
'cause you always brag at me how
your mama forcibly bought it for you.
I just got jealous though 'cause when I did what you did,
my mama didn't fall for it.

But then again we were cute little children
who hated each other, who argued all the time
especially when our kindergarten teacher
made us paint different objects everyday
with you as my partner.

Those moments, when we were still children,
this picture, makes my face painted with
the unforgettable smile right now.

This time, we took a picture again,
But a different one from before.
This time, we stayed closer, given our best shot
and showed the most beautiful smile we could
ever show.
This time, your arms are around my shoulders
and my head is leaning on yours.
This time, the hate has faded and is replaced with
love, love and only love.

And comparing these two pictures
from our childhood stage
and teenage stage makes me realize that
the best enemies could also become
the best lovers in the end.
CG Abenis Feb 2012
Kick their *****
and let 'em know
you're the boss!
Feb 2012 · 1.1k
stupid, clumsy cupid
CG Abenis Feb 2012
He took his bow and his red arrows,
but clumsy as he is he lost some of those,
and panicked to the point that he did not know
what to do in the midst of the shadows.
He searched for the missing ones
and luckily these arrows were found,
but clumsy as he is, cupid became stupid again.

He paired his arrows with a she and a he,
and clumsy as he is, the other arrow hit to another she.
And so as well to the others, a different pair of he and she.

So unlucky and unfortunate these people are,
unable to feel what it is to love and to be loved
by the one you fell for,
upon hearing to people who were paired perfectly
they feel like it's different, their dreamed fantasy.

Just because of that stupid, clumsy cupid,
many people have broken hearts
for being hit by the wrong pair of arrows of love
Many have shed their tears and buried themselves in despair.
I'm just wondering, does cupid know how much it hurts to fall for the wrong person?
Feb 2012 · 493
nociceptor (10w)
CG Abenis Feb 2012
Heart broken,
heart inflamed,
pain receptors
reciprocate
sensations to brain.
Feb 2012 · 666
you call this love?
CG Abenis Feb 2012
You tell him your happy,
but deep inside your not.

You tell him it's okay,
but you still want the best shot.

You tell him you liked it
but actually you don't.

You tell him the opposite.
Just the opposite of what you really wanted.

Don't you find it funny?
Don't say you don't agree with me.

When you give your lover something
it's the same kind of thing
(*not exactly the same)
that you wanted to receive from him.

The way you caress him and care for him,
is also the exact way you wanted
to be caressed and taken care of.

And the way you love him,
is exactly the way you wished to be loved.

Right?

And then you both end up fighting,
quarreling due to dissatisfaction.

He likes this, you like that.
He loves this, you love that.
He wants it to be done this way,
and you wish it to be done that way.

Then he yells at you,
you burst into tears,
and both of you become silent,
your love becomes silent and mute.

But then, do you think you're really in love?
Do you really call this is love?
When you become dissatisfied of what the other
can only give and show,
When you cannot accept what he/she can only do.

I guess my friends,
you're not in love.

Love is not about what's the best gift to give
Or what's the best action to show.

Love is about accepting what can each other only give,
And what can each other only do,
but still manage to prove that he/she is in love with you,
and only to you.

Not to his/her money,
nor to his/her body,
but with who you really are,
despite with what you only are.

By then you are in love. <3
Feb 2012 · 852
don't call me holy
CG Abenis Feb 2012
In everyone's eyes I portray my image
as a saint that's never done
any bad deeds at all,
told them lies that I'm holding on
and never wanting to reveal.
They think I've never thought of fantasies
that stain the heart with sins that
most of the humans commit.
But nobody knows that
deep inside this angel whom they thought
is righteous
has a living devil that controls her
thoughts of desires and longings.

Yes I've never been ******,
but deep inside my consciousness
I've longed for it more than the
prostitutes do.
And this is what you called closer to holy?

What in the h* does it really mean?
I ain't holy, so don't call me one.
(I don't deserve it)
But don't get too far in judging me negatively
'cause I've been trying my best
to fight the evil thoughts that's running
inside my head
and trying to stop the circulating electrical
impulses that run around my veins
everytime I fantasize
of being ****** by the man I truly love.

I know there's a right time for that
and this evil thoughts can wait,
and it could no longer be considered
a bad deed
At the time when he already walks me in the altar
and binds his life with mine forever.
I don't judge people who do premarital ***. But as for our tradition and my religion, premarital *** is really a big NO NO that's why I came up to writing this piece. Sorry to those who got offended with this. But just want to say that I'm not pertaining to you, I wrote this pertaining only to myself..
Feb 2012 · 536
me and you and the wall
CG Abenis Feb 2012
I don't know you,
you don't know me,
I don't even know if
we already crossed our paths,
or even seen each other's shadows.
The only thing that connects us
is this wall where
you and I met,
maybe not face to face,
but by writing the word hello
on the upper left corner.

I wrote hello in case someone
will say hi
And yes, I found you,
and as days went on
our feeling became mutual.

From the five - letter words I wrote,
it then became too full of
words of love
that almost there's no space to write on.

Each day I arrive to school,
I excitedly go to the old building
just to greet you good morning
and before I go home,
I hastily go back to read
your reply
and then walk away with a smile
as you told me to take good care
of myself.

Later, I decided to meet you
in front of that wall,
So I wrote down the date and time
we'll see each other,
But when I came back
Tears began to fall down from my eyes,
I don't know why
But I really felt sad.

When I went there on the 2nd of August
at exactly 7 o'clock in the evening,
I was all alone,
nobody's there,
there's no you.

And the building, it was smashed into smaller pieces
including the wall that bridged our life;
they were crushed into
smaller pieces and just became
tiny stones.

I wondered if you read what I've written
on that wall,
I wondered if you have written a reply,
so I tried to put the pieces back together
like a puzzle game
in a very difficult level.

But nothing, nothing's there,
I wasn't able to assemble them all
anyway,
And my heart was too broken
like the old wall that
once was in front of me
when I'm standing at this point.

And that was the last moment I heard about you.
But I'm still haunted by the memories
We both shared in that
little span of bonding we had.

And that ends my story about me and you
and the wall.
Feb 2012 · 503
what a relief!
CG Abenis Feb 2012
I grew pimples on my face,
and stretch marks on my limbs,
but you still look into my eyes
telling me I'm the one you love.

I weigh a hundred pounds now
Laughed by people who come around
but you still give me that beautiful smile
and hug me in front of their eyes.

I don't have a pretty face,
I'm not even your type
but still you love me without a doubt.

I told you it's hard to believe
Why someone like you loves
someone like me,
a tear fell on my cheeks
then you kissed me on the lips.

You flew me to the sky,
and together we soared high
showing to the world what true love is;
it's not about how you look like
and what's your size.

What a great relief you made me feel inside!
Thank you my darling
for your love has never died.
Feb 2012 · 531
stolen shots
CG Abenis Feb 2012
You're unconscious with
your looks,
revealing
who you truly are.
Feb 2012 · 410
she told me...
CG Abenis Feb 2012
She's ******
but hell,
men's favorite
f* monster in bed!
Feb 2012 · 454
true pains (10w)
CG Abenis Feb 2012
are those that never get relieved by taking pain medications.
Feb 2012 · 750
my grandmother told me once
CG Abenis Feb 2012
Don't rush into falling love,
it will just come to you
at the right place and the right time.
CG Abenis Feb 2012
When I stole your heart
I didn't wish to return it;
forever it's mine.
Feb 2012 · 1.2k
stupid cupid
CG Abenis Feb 2012
Your eyes speak to me every time
you see that beautiful lady across your house,
And all I do is smile back
when deep inside my heart I'm drowned
with painted fake happiness that I show to you.
My ever-loving reserved smiles and kisses
have come into waste when you told me you like her
and I became more broken the day you told me
it's her you want to court on and spend the rest of your life with.

I asked myself what are those for?
The care you rendered to me,
The soft - spoken words you whisper in my ears,
The days you took me to restaurants and movies
And the nights and days you held my hand tightly,
never wanting to let go.

Why do you have to do such things
when you'll only leave me broken, anyway?
Am I just for fun or a dummy that you are practicing on?
How could you do such things and leave me like this?
How could you do this?

The moments we had under the silence of the night,
When the rain suddenly fell on my head,
and you'd say you hate rain but I say it feels good
to have gentle rain at night and look at them dancing
on the sides of the street lights.
Those moments when we looked at each other's eyes
and felt the silence, hearing only the rain's sound as it fell on the pavement.
When you've almost told me you love me,
(as what I've thought)
And I too, about to say it if you've only told me first.
Those moments, when I wished my fantasy of me and you would come true.

But now I've awaken to the truth,
I'm the only one who felt it,
The sound of the ringing bells of love,
The sweet music that I hear everytime you're by my side.
It's only me.
Just me.

How could cupid be so unfair?
Can you tell me at least?
Why does he have to hit his arrow only to me with your
name on it and you've been hit also but having hers instead of mine?
Isn't it unfair?
Tell me.

I love you, you love her.
You only love me as your friend,
and I guess here it will all end.

Stupid cupid!
Feb 2012 · 604
paper, pen, ink-----love...
CG Abenis Feb 2012
You're like a pen that always
run out of ink whenever you
speak of your love to me.
You're almost about to utter it,
but just like writing a piece of paper,
only traces of the pen's tip are seen.
And in your eyes I could tell
you're hiding something inside,
Something that you would want me to know,
And something for the world to see.

But my dear, if you'd be a pen
I'm willing to be your ink,
to fill you with so much love,
and together we'd write,
and utter the magical words
that we'd shout to the world
of how it existed by just writing it down on a piece of paper of love
that existed between you and me. :) <3
Feb 2012 · 586
almost there!
CG Abenis Feb 2012
I kept rushing to success
unable to mind little things
that are far better important
than what I've always thought.

I raced without pacing,
raced without minding,
raced without looking back,
raced, rushed, raced, rushed.

I hurried too much to achieve success,
hurried, hurried, hurried.

And yes, I'm almost there,
I was almost there,
almost there.

But I rushed too much,
Raced with the time,
Rushed too much,
Unable to notice what's left behind.

And there, I ended up forgetting
what must I bare in mind,
what lessons to look back for,
Unable to notice what's left behind.

Now, I'm here, back again
to the starting line,
Getting more far to success.

And looking in front
I could see many people ahead of me,
These are the people who used
to be chasing me before.

And now, here I am,
Chasing them.
These people who took time
to understand the world,
who took time to know the importance
of life's purposes and true meaning,
The people who patiently understand everything.

Here I am again,
Making a new beginning,
Aiming for success,
But this time, it would be different,
'cause I've learned my lessons well.
Feb 2012 · 709
Goner
CG Abenis Feb 2012
Shhhh.. Hush now my dear
You don't have to **** me now
'cause I already died the day you left
my fragile heart broken.
Feb 2012 · 537
dance in love
CG Abenis Feb 2012
We sail across the midnight blue
With hearts filled of music
that play from within
As the bright full moon steals light
from the living sun
We dance together and express our love.

You bring forth my body to yours
Securing me in your warm loving arms
And you sway me with the music
that is playing in your heart
Never wanting us to be apart.

As we dance I could hear the sound
of your heart
As it whispers my name
and sings  in the name of love
And my heart sings togehter
with the beat of it's sound,
And together we both dance in love.
CG Abenis Feb 2012
Smile masks his face
when actually
inside
he is
dying.
CG Abenis Feb 2012
Love is the reason
why
I'm still
miraculously
alive
today.
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