I led you through the mud
Sometimes we leave friends behind
I could tell you were thinking of him
I could tell you were hurting inside
And I couldn’t take your mind off him
But I tried

Snow globe, your glass isn’t easy to break
But you should know, it’s summer out here

I could stare into your blue eyes all night
I could stay with you until die
Put on a song as we search the floors
Go on take your anti-depressants- they’ll make you feel better

Leave me out on the balcony
Wash my feet in your tub
But I think I must go
Down 95, alone with my navigator
We talk- Babel, a long time, but don’t overshoot it
Yeah we could’ve slept together
But sometimes you should sleep alone
Yes, you took me home... but I’ll just tuck you in,
organize the magazines on the coffee table then
turn out the lights
oh
Goodnight, goodnight

Hiding in your bed
Try your tired old mantra
Your affirmation

But it's just talk, talk, talk
and if you stay or go
it's just luck, luck, luck
and I don't know if I give a ****

cuz it's a **** show
and I'm the star, self-medicating

And I'll play the fool because everything's fine
I know it's not real, it's just in my head

Burn it all out
'neath your veil
drink your party all down
blood drains to pale, pale, pale
from my self-medicating

Bells sound alarm
Crossing our hearts
against the dark

Chemicals are all awry
So don't despair
there's nothing there

Intuition
Or just anxious fears?
Guess it all depends on
what you want to hear

I’ma little worse off when you’ve gone
Lungs heavy and dry like old concrete
Orange embers lay like dying stars on the pavement
Winking against the purple-blue night.

I paired you with scotch
Or was it white wine?
I can’t remember for the mute thunder
Blooming in my crown.

I don’t remember much these days
What the boys are saying,
How I am feeling…
How ought I feel?

Good enough-
But not to reach for another
No- I’ll ease back
And relish the memory of you a little while longer.

I wrote you a letter
But did not tear out the page
I will never send it
Because the last one gave you pain

I have not forgotten your number
But I will not call or text
In time I shall forget it
Or so one would expect

Ten digits-
It features three threes and two twos
A sequence branded on the invisible mind
Whether it scars or erodes depends on the path forward

Happy birthday old friend,
You look happy again
Like we once made each other

So, no need for well wishes,
For from my mouth,
I know, I’ve learned-
Can only come selfish reminders

I know what Jesus found
out in the desert-
or perhaps, what He lost

My eyes will never look at you again
at best, they pass over
like unhurried clouds on a windless day

Blooming and expanding
from nothing
churning and sliding west

Memory is just a few shocks
that take me back,
bullet holes that let
light penetrate a sealed room

Drifter you call me; but
I saw my captain's (my brother's) soul
splash and sink into the
thirsty dust

Boys marched in
and ghosts fly home,
unhurried, as clouds
in a windless sky

Your buddy solemnly professing it to you on your roof, the city skyline lit up behind him, you saying, “I know, man, I love you too,” in an almost consolatory fashion because it wasn’t easy for him

Your ex whispering it in your ear before getting into the cab that takes them away from you forever

Mother, her mantra, a reminder, every time you see her

Father, that one time you didn’t **** up, but at least it’s sometimes there behind his eyes

Your sister, even though she’s halfway across the country it picks you up because she’s the only one who understands you and how it feels

Grandfather, you’re ten, despite your size he wants nothing but to hold you on his lap and plant kisses on your head. “Te quiero, te amo,” he mutters into your hair until you finally make up an excuse to get up to go play with your cousins. It’s the second you’ve ever seen him. Maybe he knew it was going to be the last time

When your ex didn’t take you back, after your desperate, last, all out attempt. Crushed, you move and follow your “dream.” Later, much later, you realize they cut them self off from you so you could have it, the dream, they love(d) you so much they let you go because they thought they were holding you back.

A vague spiritualist inspiration
A surreal surrealist practicing divination
Shivers abound for the wondering and the cold
Tumbling into the fathomless unknown

…

Everywhere an altar
Every being a sage
Every step, a falter,
But also, a turn of the page