There I sat throughout the trial,
whilst they sat there in total denial,
sprinkling their seedlings of doubt,
believing the lies he would spout,
throwing out everything I say,
just so they could get their pay,
without a care in the world about who they hurt,
attempting to drag my name through the dirt,
the questions made me so uncomfortable,
with every answer I felt more vulnerable,
objection!
take a look at your reflection,
you're happily defending a man like him,
so that your wallet is a little less slim,
giving no ***** about the future impact,
dismissing it all as lies when really it's a fact,
what would you do if it was your kid?
would you still defend the perpatrtor for a few thousand quid?
despite what I know is extremely true,
at times I find myself questioning it thanks to you,
I was just a child you had no right,
to contribute to the nightmares keeping me up at night,
did you ever see through his lies?
did you ever eventually open your eyes?
deep down did part of you believe me?
but the cheque was something you had to see?
you thought your performance was perfect,
but guess what, it was a unanimous guilty verdict,
and though it was the verdict I wanted,
I'm still reeling at the verision of events that you concocted,
each day in court chipped away pieces of me,
and now it's him who gets to be free,
I'll never forget how you tried to twist my story,
in an attempt to bask in some glory

At morning you wake,
the sun burning your eyes,
you wonder how much more it will take,
until you reach your demise,

you're already counting down the hours left in the day,
terrified for what's ahead,
planning how to get away,
from all the words they haven't yet said,

you start your slow walk to school,
with your earphones full blast,
levitating straight down the hall,
please can this day be the last,

it's hard not to think it's your own fault,
when you're the reciever of every stare,
and the target of every insult,
that plunges you further into despair,

you want to scream "what did I ever do to you?",
for them to treat you like **** on their shoe,
to have your spirit beaten black and blue,

how can people tell you to ignore it,
when everyday you take a hit,
you reported them but it was no use,
they practically just tied your noose,

so inside it you place your head,
and you do as they wished,
so now you're dead,
then they'll say how much you'll be missed

Forgive me, I tried,
to fight the demons inside,
but I have to admit,
to it I did submit,
it becomes an addiction,
forcing me into submission,

Forgive me, I need,
to learn how to plead,
for it to leave me alone,
after all that it's shown,
I don't want to live like this,
but it's something I know I'll miss,

Forgive me, for I can't explain,
why I self inflict such pain,
or why I can't put down the blade,
and disappear in the shade,
but it's my way to cope,
at times when I've lost all hope,

Forgive me, I can't,
ignore the voices that chant,
telling me that I'm weak,
and other nastiness they speak,
demanding that I cut,
and forever be in this rut,

Forgive me, but they win,
I can't fight all this pain from within,
I need to feel the blood run,
the devil thinks it's fun,
that my final string has snapped,
and in this cycle I'm forever trapped

Deep in the darkest corners of the mind,
through the corridors you will find,
the thoughts slowly skulking along,
and everything just feels so wrong,

the tricks it plays,
putting the host in a haze,
reality or not, who can tell
encompassed in an unpenetrable shell,

it blocks out the guiding light,
burying it far out of sight,
in the dark is when it does the most,
turning into your own personal ghost,

filling the brain with endless ideation,
begging you to bring it into fruition,
but if you work hard then you just might,
eradicate that suicidal parasite

Because of you my life is tainted,
By the hellish landscape that you painted,
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would've been,
If what I encountered had been seen,
But it was behind closed doors,
Leaving me lonely in the moors,
My innocent heart,
It was torn apart,
All the fragments spread,
And I'm at the mercy of the voices in my head,
They so to move on you need to forgive,
But you've left me with trauma I always relive,
Sometimes I wanna **** you and scream "F#ck you!"
And I know my parents do too,
But you're not worth the time I'd have to serve,
So I just hope one day you'll get what you deserve,
Maybe one day I can tear apart the hell you painted,
And leave my life a little less tainted