There isnt one day that these eyes dont cry
The tears start from memories
The memories are together safe
Locked away in my heart
But i wanted you to stay
I cant undo whats done
So now im feeling it everyday
Im broken
Im lost
And now its the pain that i truly hate
I knew you couldnt stay
But why all the suffering?
It was hard to see your pain, your weakness, and your eyes
It was hard to show the love;
The one that i regret to show
I showed it with all my strength
When you slowly had to go
Everything was just too late
A troubled girl gone blind
I noticed everything at the last minute
When it was out of time
It replays in my head like a movie;
A sad movie
Its a never ending story;
A sad story
Its a never ending nightmare;
My dreams of you here is never going to happen


rip to my angel x0

There was a story that was true
Each chapter was full of drama
Each page was full of heartache
Each word was full of tears
Each letter i tried to make disappear
As i read myself through,
I cry and then the ink washes away as it turns into my blood
My tears have tried to knock my chapters out
Inside my life a new chapter keeps happening;
And then i always wish it would all go away
My hurt has returned
Each ending is actually a beginning
I cant escape from the cover that tries to close me inside
All the pictures, dark with no explanation
My colours had no strength to reveal themselves
These words inside;
Inside its my head
Im writing and screaming; my mind through my hand
My hand is so tight as i write on myself
Im writing the words of my insides that im forcing out
The pencil im holding;
A strange looking pencil
This pencil is actually an addiction
Im so brainwashed from my mind
I never knew pencils had blades..
As i sit and read myself one last time,
I rip out the pages
Now its even worse
What did i do?
Now im torn
Now im split open
I feel more chapters have come back to harm me
My skin is bleeding;
This book has no ending

I went overboard until i crashed
I went under and my body got smashed
I couldnt stop
I couldnt help myself
I couldnt remember
I was too distant from myself
My eyes were closed when they should have been open
And when they were, all i saw were open wounds in front of my face
I couldnt feel anything;
I was so numb
And when i had feeling, it was only inside my heart with the aches of torture
Im bleeding but i only see
What im feeling is deep regrets in between all my scars
Then i became a porcelain doll,
I was held with my own arms,
Then i purposely fell out
I broke all over the floor
And to stop my blood from escaping, i sewed myself back to life
Im together but its forced
Now im scarred from head to toe
Its the time to be careful now
One more fall then i will stay down
Just allow me to pull my own string
The string that holds my body
The string that i had to put in
Everything is so fake
My mistakes bring me to the end;
Im new but im still torn
Im together but underneath im scarred
I stand but i force my fall
I laugh but when noone looks i cry
I look good until you see my skin
Im together until i pull my string...

Across my body, i have an overlayer of mistakes
Im trying to dig out all my problems
Im trying to bleed out all my worries
Im trying to squeeze out all my fears
But instead i cleaned out all my strength
I developed a habit that i cannot put to rest
Im just wanting to pretend that I cant feel all the hurt
But i think about the pain that put me in the middle of the darkness
I inhaled the dangers of my curious thoughts
In the end i got trapped in my own web
And then i was like a spider;
Trying to escape what fears me
Everything is so much bigger than me
But my body is small because i shrunk myself and hid from it all
Then suddenly i couldnt help myself
I got crushed and i lost myself
Deep inside my body, i broke my own bones
The scars that appeared had me covered with my regrets
Now i peel off my guilt,
I bleed all over agan

My feet are burnt but not from the ground
I walked on fire that i started down below
My body is hot but not from the sun
I covered my body with a blanket to hide my scars
My hair is moving but not from the wind
Its being pulled from the hands thats attached to my body
I hear voices and its not the seashells
Im talking harshly to myself inside my head
I cannot see but the dust is innocent
Im covering my eyes so i wont have to see the truth
I cannot breathe but its not the humidity
Im hyperventilating because of my fears
I hide, and its not behind the rocks
I disappear from the reflection in the water who tries to find me
Im bleeding but not from broken glass
I unleash my liquid with purpose and open the cuts of sorrow
Im thirsty but not for water
I want the hydration from the strength that im lacking deep inside
Im tired but not from nature
My heart is pounding from my body that was turned inside out
I feel the splashes and its not the water
My tears are the waves that blind me when im knocked down

Im floating inside my own body;
I died within my soul
My spirt lifted high, and now im stuck inside my own sorrow
Outside i couldnt take no more
I couldnt take no more life
I breathed in too much *******
Now the air i breathed had polluted my lungs; and now its stuck deep inside
My heart is black now
So then i realized that the red heart was a target;
And the blood within had been punctured, then ****** out.
So now im so empty
I have no more strength inside me
When i try to fight, i just break myself
And then i fall and i cant get back up
Now im inside a hole
Its so dark; its so black
I feel like im stuck because i have nowhere to run
Im at the bottom of it all
And i cannot get myself out; i buried myself too deep
Now i cannot breathe
The feelings that got hurt was cut into my skin and then like a big scar that cover my body
I want to escape but i cant
Im the one who put up these walls; these walls that closes me in
Im the one that closed my door; the one that i locked myself in
Im the one who used a knife; that made me bleed, and made me fight
Im the one who abused the mirror; and changed my moods when i look deep inside
Im the one that opened my own eyes;
That whenever i cry, everything that was deep, had been thrown up outside

I always wandered what would happen if i got back on the right path
Will i change?
Will my mind twist & turn itself back to normal?
And will my heart unfreeze itself?
I followed a shadow that i knew would make me blind
I followed a soul that i didnt want to attach myself to
But i stared into a mirror and just threw myself in and lost myself
I disappeared from life;
I was invisible to myself
I made my own path; i followed a dark road
And then i ended up in the middle of my own drama
I stood up but i was dizzy
I walked into tripping over
I ran into falling on the floor
I used my eyes but i was blind
I listened carefully but i was deaf
I tried to speak while my voice was mute
I tried to move while my bones were broken
Then i gave up from being mentally exhausted
Where did i go?
I never knew how to interact with a person so close; but so far away
Distance broke me, myself, and i
And i never saw the line that i was holding onto before i let go
I met her, but i said goodbye
I laughed at her, and made her cry
I judged her, then she was angry
I abused her, and made her bleed
I looked and couldnt find
I searched but she had to hide
And then I realized i had cut my own line
I confused my heart with hateful words, and so i ended up bad-mouthing to the mirror
I confused my body with bruises and scars, and so i ended bleeding in my own tears
My mind confused me with an enemy i once knew, without a role model;
All along i locked myself,
In my own room