As this year bids a sweet goodbye,
Will my pain also leave by my side?
As I count the months left,
Will this give assurance that soon I'll forget?
Months passing by, seems time is inevitable as it flee,
But the clock within me got stuck ever since I set you free.
It hurts so bad, missing someone you've been waiting to come but it hurts more when you love him so much but love is not enough to pick up what was left for a heart that was completely drained and tired.
Isn't it ironic,
During the hard times,
Tough and unimaginable pain,
That we learn and make a headway.
Isn't it crazy,
Feeling greatly terrible,
Yet you want no one to notice,
How your soul was tearing apart.
Yet all those things,
As time passes you,
The greatest thing you should ever do,
Is how to pick up yourself and
Take that **** out of you.
It doesn't mean that because she doesn't cry anymore she no longer feels the pain. It doesn't mean she is feeling numb with the struggles in life either. She just learned to be more careful with the thoughts she plant inside of her. She choose to believe that in every pain, could it be questioning her self worth, her purpose, her career, her passion, her happiness; there will always be lessons that needs to work on.
That in every hard situation there is perseverance that needs to build on. That in every tears that failed to come out are little steps towards acceptance. That in every goodbyes are new beginnings. And in every fake laughter is a broken soul who's only weapon left is her faith to Him and only Him.
I envy the people around you who can make you breakfast and coffee for two. Or just randomly go to your house, play online games and go out, have some fun.
I am always wounded by our distance. ****** missing you this way. Each single day. Yes, I was blinded of me being a thousand miles away. 'Til the summer ended and rainy season started when the trees bowed down and the leaves whispered.
That my seed grows here while your peace sits there. To the evergreen kingdom I once dreamed.
Here I am.
One saturday afternoon, trying to sync in the truth.
I am no longer yours.
You are not your mind.
It is either you control it or it controls you.
There is no middle ground.
— The End —