I dreamed of traveling alone.
Booking hotels in the middle of the night,
Emptying out the piggy bank I've used since I was 9,
Packing only 4 pairs of clothes,
And buying a one-way ticket to somewhere.

I dreamed of traveling alone.
Seeing the beauty of each city, of each town, of each country.
Trying out food I've never heard before,
Dancing in the streets with the locals,
And learning the language used in my destination.

I dreamed of traveling alone.
Now I'm in the middle of a street I can't pronounce,
In the 18th city on my diary,
watching people go on with their lives.
I find them so fascinating that I could watch them all day.

But I have to go,
Move on to my next pinned place.
My heart is filled with happiness,
my mind is enchanted with how precious everything is.

I dreamed of traveling alone.
Now I am living my dream,
And I hope this goes on.

My eyes swell from just thinking of that place.
I've grown in love of that place.
Its people, the subway stations, the city lights, the food, music, and everything in between.
I didn't want to leave.
It was too soon.
I needed more time.
I thought, can I just not show up at my flight?
But I did.
I did, not because I wanted to but because I had to.
And now as I walk around, I'm reminded of the wonderful moments I had in that place.
And I keep thinking, is it possible to have a separation anxiety to a place?

It's going to get better.
I whisper to myself as I drown myself in caffeine.
It's going to get better
I imagine stamping it on my forehead so I won't forget.
It's going to get better
I repeat once more.
It's going to get better
Maybe if I keep saying, it would eventually come true.
It's going to get better
*I know it will.

She loved you.*
She loved you more than she loved herself.
She chose to spend time with you even if that meant not spending time with her friends and family.
Even when she had deadlines to catch, she would still find time to talk to you.
She was willing to give everything just to please you.
She did everything she could because she thought you loved her as much as she loved you.

But when the world was harsh and cruel, she was left alone.
You left when she needed you the most.
You used her flaws against her.
You looked beyond her to suffice the wants you said you needed.
Suddenly everything was her fault, at least that's what you told her.
And somehow even when she tried so hard not to lose you, she wasn't enough for you.

When you left, she fell apart.
She couldn't do anything but cry herself to sleep.
Yet she couldn't sleep because sleeping meant dreaming of you.
Knots twisted in her stomach with every memory of you that she couldn't eat well.
And when she wasn't thinking of you, she was thinking of her insecurities and how she wasn't good enough.

Months passed and she's beginning to be herself again.
She found happiness in her family and friends.
It was her life and that no one should make her feel miserable like that.
For once in a very long time, she felt alive again.
She realized that you came into her life to serve as a lesson.

Yes, she loved you.*
But now, she's choosing to love her life and the beauty it holds.

I wrote a song about you.
A song with a melody as soothing as your hugs and lyrics as enchanting as your smile.
*But you pressed next as soon as you heard the intro.

Don't tell me* I'm a *masterpiece when you seek more galleries.
Don't tell me I'm your light when you have a pocket full of matches.
Don't tell me I'm your star when you explore galaxies.
Don't tell me I'm your song when you hum a lot of melodies.
Don't tell me to stay when you're running with another.
Don't tell me I'm yours when you're not mine at all.

Never jump into conclusions,
that's what they told me.
Never jump into conclusions,
an advice that might either make or break me.
Never jump into conclusions,
how can I not when I feel like I've pieced the puzzle?
Never jump into conclusions,
how can I when I'm not sure about anything?
Never jump into conclusions,
I'm tired of waiting for answers.
Never jump into conclusions.
But I already did and I was right.

Hush, my fragile heart.
Let your worries fade.
Let go of all the bad,
And have good memories made.
Hush, my fragile heart...
Until you find your flame again.

In the midst of my coming of age,
I lost myself.
What was once a one-way street is now a crossroad in the heart of the fields.
24 eyes staring at me from all directions,
waiting for my next step,
I'm waiting for my next step.
There are no signs of where the paths will go
nor signs of how much miles the road was
but I'm letting my heart take the lead.
For in the midst of the trip or maybe at the end of the road I know,
I will find myself again.

Tell me something negative about yourself,
So I could pretend that I never even crossed your mind,
And stop the spark of hope inside.

Tell me something negative about yourself,
So I could forget how you looked for me last night,
And fall into the trap of your enchanting eyes.

Tell me something negative about yourself,
Help me. For in hopes of finding something bad,
I might have fallen in love to both of your sides.

I've been admiring you from a distance,
And when they tried to introduce us,
I ran.
I ran like a little girl scared of the monsters behind her.
I feel I wasn't enough to be introduced to you.
Everytime you so much as walk a few metres near me,
I ran.
I ran like I was in prep school, playing tag with my best friend.
I feel I wasn't enough to walk with you.
Now I've been thinking, I kept running away from you.
What good did it make, I ask myself.
*What good did running away from you make when *you weren't even chasing me.

I've been thinking about the best feeling in the world.

Maybe it was how you walk towards me smiling whenever you catch me reading a book at the dock behind my house.
Maybe it was how you pick me up and spin me around like no one's watching every time we see each other.
Maybe it was how you sweep your thumb on the back of my palm back and forth whenever our hands intertwine.
Maybe it was the way you hug me so tight and my face gets buried on your chest that I could smell your perfume and it was stuck to me till I go home.
Maybe it was how your eyes were fixed on me that one time we decided to pack our bags and drive to nowhere.
Maybe it was how your hands explore my back as our lips explore each other.
Maybe it was how you hug me from the back whenever I turn my back on you because I was crying and I didn't want you to see me like that.

I've been thinking about the best feeling in the world and I know now.
It's you.
It's the feeling when I'm with you.
My heart beats twice as fast for you.
Oh darling, it's you and the feelings in between.

And sometimes I wish I could just touch you.
No boundaries, nothing to hinder my arms feeling your body heat by caressing your skin.
Stare at those cute eyes that remind me of  half moons,
Dig my fingers in your hair like I've imagined I did a couple of times,
Listen to your laugh like a melody I would put on repeat.
Feel your warmth as you outshine the sun in my eyes,
Kiss those lips until I've grown addicted to the taste of you,
Concentrate on the sound of your heart beating as I place my ears on your chest.
And sometimes I really wish I could, but I won't.
No, I wont. Not until you let me in.

I dont know why I try so hard
For someone who wont even look my way.
I even think a hundred times
For perfect words I try to say

I tried once more without a doubt,
With all the courage I gathered inside,
Guess my efforts are wasted,
For I don't even cross your mind.

Today I choose to be myself,
I realised that I don't need you now,
To be happy and contented,
I know for sure, I'll show me how.

If only you knew
How even only half of you
Could light my world and view.

My mind cannot fathom how it happened,
Amidst the cruelty in this planet,
Reckless use of time, wish I didn't spend,
It's a miracle that we even met.

All I know is I could rely on you,
Even when we are busy, reaching goals.
Living, loving, still climbing to see the view,
I** know we'll still be in each other souls.

Zigzags and humps on the road slow me down,
A nice best friend like you boosts me forward.
Hoping you know you're the best girl in town,
Did wish for a gift, now you're my reward.

Guess God sure knows I needed a best friend,
My love for you will be there till the end.