coffee wakes me up in the morning
and i can stay up all night if i have
a candy bar
i get a little antsy
with a bottle of soda
but you are the biggest sugar rush
i’ve ever had in my life

i think and think
i think myself out of happiness
                         but never into it
i say one thing, you glance at me
you stay silent
but in my mind you’re screaming
that i’m hopelessly inadequate
                         i couldn’t agree more
somewhere, i know it’s not true
but that doesn’t matter
my thoughts are suffocating me
                         i am a plague to myself

ten years from now
i imagine myself
alone and much quieter
in a small town outside of a city
kayaking and biking
trying to keep myself
as busy as possible
to guard myself from evil thoughts
i hope more than anything
that’s not true

sometimes i imagine myself
in a castle
with a gold chain and a throne
in a cabin
quietly listening to the river
in a white dress
waltzing slowly with a lover
but usually i imagine
finding myself entangled in your arms
once more