I've wished I was a boy my whole life.
To get respect without demanding it.
To walk in a room and be part of the club.
To not be seen as an outsider, an irritant.

I loathed that I was treated differently.
I worked my entire life to get here,
believing that it would get better
with the fancy title and, finally, the career.

Now, I've made it. Yet, I still have to demand:
To be seen. To be CC'd on emails. To not be
excluded. Do you know how difficult it is
to have the right title, but not the right genitalia?

You can be competent, intelligent,
the smartest in the room.
But if you aren't the ideal gender,
You're just a pretty face in costume.

If you go slow, you'll feel
How my body reacts
To your gentle touches.

If you close your eyes,
You'll feel my back arch
And the shivers on my skin.

My moans are softer,
But even more desperate.
I beg for more tenderness.

Fast is physically good
For you, but gentle
Is emotional for me.

Forever yours, I was never mine.
Born to love you, I'll never escape
From your grasp. But...I don't want to.
You're my final destination, my fate.
Our first kiss masked our pasts.
Years of tragedy and mistakes.

Moving on is just another man
Until we can be together again.
Crying over you and a wound
That was never meant to mend.
Trying to ignore the passion that lingers...
We could never be just friends.

We danced…a night of passion, your hands, our hearts.
The tango, waltz, and rumba. Bodies hot,
The romance begins when quiet music starts.

Your fingers trace my lips as I talk…
“I need you.” Lean in, kiss me, bite my lip.
Give me the drug you know I crave. Don’t stop.

It is more than lust. A sinking ship
Is what we’ve made this. Broken, yes. But still…
In love. Your love, my wine. I’m hooked with one sip.

Abuse? The pain? The hurt? My daily meal.
And still…I stay. I love too much, too deeply.
No one knows what we go through, lips sealed.

You always trick me and I run back. Can’t see
The damaged, stained and bloodied, lifeless soul
You have left me with. Alone, content to be?

To me, you are hot and burning coals.
Too close, and risk the blisters embers make.
Perhaps that’s why my heart is gaping with holes.

I always give…and you always take.
To think…one single night started all this.
My hurt, kind heart is quickly learning to hate.

But when I say goodbye, the company’s missed.
That’s why I always come back to beg for more.
I need your touch, your heart, your voice, your kiss.

I’ll leave again, like many times before.
To come back…wondering what I’m trying for.

I remember her words to me.
"You can never like him."
I also remember the first day...
I wished it would never end.

We were so young, so free.
And decided to take a chance.
Our life was perfect...
I knew it'd be from the first glance.

But then, it happened.
We couldn't be together.
And you broke every promise;
Always and Forever?

I couldn't be mad.
I knew it wasn't your fault.
But even so...
You still broke my heart.

And now, two years later,
Here we are.
Grasping at straws...
Trying to ignore the scar.

I knew it would come to this
Because true love can't die.
I have only question...
I'll be yours...but will you be mine?

I always say no and can usually resist,
But you somehow change my mind.
Even though my heart knows it's wrong...
You make it feel so right.

The feel of your fingers through my hair
Sends chills up and down my spine.
You can't hide the satisfaction you feel
When you say, "You'll always be mine."

The strange thing is that I know it's true.
You're the worst addiction I've had.
And even though addictions can't be good...
I never feel too bad.

So I'll take a breath and take a risk
Hoping we'll become more than friends.
But I know that after you have everything of mine...
You'll still be hers in the end.