From childhood to adulthood
there are changes ... numerous
too numerous to count, to remember
yet a few are etched in the memory,
even in the subconscious
lasting a lifetime

through all the decades of my life
most are hugely positive
very little sadness is remembered
mourning over a three day old baby girl,
a miscarriage nine months to the day nine months later,
the death of my beloved husband after fifty years.

I happily remember the joy of our wedding day,
the uncomplicated births of my five living children,
funny ... I always wanted five, even before our marriage
and there are five, still living good and happy lives.

I've even met someone new
who is going through the same, too;
life can be good, as good as you expect,
hope is the key ... I prayed to God ...
He graced me with a lovely friend
one with whom I can share
and he can share as well

in this ... we are making
new memories
in time's changes

Sturdy as the mighty oak, I withstood
drought, deluge, dishevelment, deliverance
my once vibrant leaves became crisp,
shattered, scattered, veins crumbled, crumpled
all that was left ... gnarled old roughened bark

revitalized, I am now trod, that old tree,
sawed, sanded, slatted, varnished  
to perfection, reflection of owner's pride,
care is given to keep me supple, strong ...
cover me not; let my beauty shine,
sparkle and please all who see me

In the vast oaken families of ancestors,
descendents, those yet to root, while
our beauty be ****** out of rich soil
to praise the God who created us
we joy in our present, treasure our past.

Love is from eternity to eternity
it encircles the lover and the loved
the warmth of its glow is unmistakable
fire of its flame unconditional, everlasting
we love because of Him ... He who first loved us

live life to the full ... as if today were the last
grasp each moment; cleave it to our breast
fill it with all that is good, right and holy
as fits the station in which we are
placed through His grace

live, love, feel the joy of clear conscience
permit ourselves to give, to receive
and rest in the peace that
is ours ... radiate it to
our brothers and
sisters each
day
because ...
love is from eternity to eternity.



© Carmela M. Patterson, All rights reserved

For Thou alone my heart sings
O Lord of Lords, King of Kings;
how can I love Thee as I ought,
Thy love I have so long sought.

When I contemplate Thy goodness to me,
I am in awe and enveloped in humility
that Thou O God from infinity
saw fit to create one like me.

My heart overflows for love of Thee
like swelling waters of the blue-green sea,
like the roaring waves splashing ashore;
it is Thee O my God whom I adore.
Permit that I may love Thee evermore.

When my earthly life comes to an end,
my sinful wounded soul wilt Thou mend?
May I one day behold Thy radiant Face
and reap the joy of inestimable grace?

How I pray this will be so, O Lord,
as to Thee alone all Praise I accord;
to be in Thy company one of these days
hearing choirs resound in Praise
to Thy Holiness and Grace
in that heavenly Place
and behold, I gaze
upon Thy most
beautiful
Face.




© Carmela M. Patterson, All rights reserved.

When I was small I loved You little
then my soul You began to whittle
thru growth my spirit oft felt brittle
I would repent ... pray for acquittal

each minute I found I loved You more
interceding was never a chore
upon my knees deep within my core
I hoped for Your celestial rapport

as I spiritually matured
my soul was safe from satan's detour
I stretched toward You who reassured
that forever with You I had procured

in my aging sage wisdom was sewn
soul was a temple for You alone
in loving You, life was a steppingstone
I took Your hand, now see Your Throne.



© Carmela M. Patterson, All rights reserved.

Suddenly the world stood still
Erupting goose bumps chill
Piloted by those who terrorize
Twin Towers they'd jeapardize
Emotions of shock, disbelief
Mourning, moaning and grief
Bombed by aircraft killing all
Extraordinary sorrow ... pall
Resultant heroes came to call

Eleviating pain where they could
Lifting to safety as they should
Everyone who could be saved
Venom's evil could not be staved
Even would we wish it to be so
Numbers trapped perished tho'
They will be forgotten not ever ...
Honored in tribute, remembered forever.



© Carmela M. Patterson, All rights reserved.

Aged arthritic gnarled yet standing stoically still
like a proud old man, Poplar provides passage
between bent legs ... an aroma of moist soil
permeates early morning's mist from eve's
rain drench ... stroll's sneaker **** splash
is no issue with appropriate apparel.

Pop ushers us onto the path, visibility dim, yet
disperses with each careful step ... sounds
of wing flap, caws, squirrel skitter, twig snaps
auburn fox, fleet of foot, flashes color in his run-by

windowless gray stone structure, doors open
bids a visit ... green garden gloves, trowel,
galvanized bucket, planting shelf indicate
recent care ... outdoor garden rose laden,
scents transcend the soul, red, yellow,
white, peach, pink hues heavenly

further on mists begin to lift as sun breaks
through dividing rain clouds ... azure sky
widens slowly to fully bright, beautiful
clear view enthralls, nature nurtures

the walk back is drier, crunch caked caper
I playfully kick it onto your sneakers
then run ... you let me run to Pop first
then you and I, hand in hand wave
goodbye to the old man.




© Carmela M. Patterson, All rights reserved.

It's a wonder the bottom of my heart
didn't fall to my feet when you called
just to say you love me ...  

you are the sunshine of my life,
not a part time lover ... for once
in my life I've been given
a second chance at romance

you embody all a man should be
human, yes ... yet with ideals
that speak to my soul

my spirit flies free because you
permit me to be ... me
no demands

in kind I would not stifle you
nor ******* your own freedom

although committed to one another
we have a life apart ... enough
room to breathe, think, pray
when we are together
we cherish this time, renewed

in your blue eyes I see a mirror
of my own ... a reflection
of pure affection

our love is aging like fine wine
and if we continue to evolve,
we may have a place in the sun
because ... I think ... we won't
have to worry 'bout a thing.



You are a Wonder

​Dear Friend,

When we stop looking, accept ourselves
for who and what we are, find a place within
where solitude is our friend, not loneliness,
but being alone with oneself and liking
then loving ourselves ... this is when
we are likely to radiate peace of mind.

It is here we begin to open up to others,
permit new friendships, smile often,
be ... without airs ... phoniness is seen,
be true, honest without guile all the while,
let someone love ... perhaps you'll love
in return

some unions were never meant to be
others fare fifty years ... as did mine
until death did us part

now my life has changed and it is hard
to realize no one will ever love me again
yet ... I must practice what I preached
in the beginning of this ... that I must find
peace within my heart ... and I have.
Maybe I am plainly ... too old where
you, my friend, are young, vital, viral
all you need is within you.

I have every hope
happiness in life
will be yours.





© Carmela M. Patterson, All rights reserved.

The apartment in which we lived when I was small
in Los Angeles, California when I was not at all tall
  our landlady, Mrs. Appleton, would oft come to call
   she and mom were friends ... I could barely crawl.

The windows were opened on lovely sunshine days
soft breezes blew white curtains in billowing sways
  with fragrances of honeysuckle and rose bouquets
   wafting through rooms like perfume scented sprays.

We were not rolling in money and were quite poor
yet it was nothing that mom and I couldn't endure
  she managed her meager finances well to ensure
   we had all our needs met, her factory job secured.

The kitchen we had was substantial small, clean
a country sink, a stove and a roller wash machine
  clothes were hung in our yard on ropes of green
   we watched sunsets through the open door screen.

The apartment I remember is often on my mind
my mother's sacrifice seemed sublime at the time.




© Carmela M. Patterson, All rights reserved.

My mother always told me
not to play with fire
and to avoid evil friends
who want to conspire
listen to my conscience
set my heart aflame
be obedient,
kind like Jesus
Him I acclaim,

for reflecting
the Lord's Image,
satan does flee
where God resides
in hell's where the demons
should be because where
Jesus' Kingdom is,
we are there ...
it's also at hand when
we lift hearts in prayer.


© Carmela M. Patterson, All rights reserved

When we met I knew you were kind
there was a gentleness you exuded
we were drawn, one to the other,
and it was good, comfortable

friendly conversation, blue eyed smiles
turned up lip grins, chuckles ...
shared dinners delightfully enjoyed, savored
medium rare, tasty faire feast, fondue
and you ... you whom I have come to know

lighthearted glow, I wonder ... does mine show?
Yours does in your every glance my way;
being cuddled by you feels like
a warm blanket ... I don't want
to experience numbing cold again

unsure if either of us wants to take it
up a notch or two from deep care
to true lasting love ... I must admit
the thought frightens me a little...
maybe it holds some trepidation
for you as well, therefore, perhaps ...
we should leave things as they are.



© Carmela M. Patterson, All rights reserved

Veered into sharp
splintered, split
old country bridge,
her blue Plymouth
plunged into the bay

she screamed
until she had
nothing else to
             s
                 a
                    y
                           .
                                  .                          
 ­                                       .

With hands reaching
  to the heavens
    I praise You
      for the glory
        You permit
       my eyes to see ...
     Lord, I worship You
  You bless my soul
with the majesty
    of Your tapestry.

Maguire said: "Help me to help you!"
desperate measures
loud voices vie for unholy green
human bleeding punching bags
shaken brain, dulling wits, eye blur.
What's it all for? Gawd almighty dollar...
Better? A ten o'clock scholar.

H allow Hollow's Halloween Eve
  A ll costumed children perceive
  L oads of chocolate they'll receive
  L ots of candy seems a prestige
  O nly eating too much, oh, heave!
  W eak, nausea's done ... relieved
  E ach child has a year's reprieve
  E agerly again, await to achieve
' N other Eve's "Trick or Treat, please."

burdens carried are behind me now
fleet of foot, my steps tarry not
freedom from all that
far too long
beset me
clamor no more
for my attention
thoughts lightened
spirited forth, future
foreseeable, my soul soars
like an eagle assail in seas of
cloudless cerulean skies and ...
burdens I carried are behind me now.

Bewildered he stands in night time mist
then he wonders as he clenches his fist
how he'd arrived here, with a brain twist
rooted, planted, his reality is dismissed

early onset, gray matter's soon demise
bothered by his failed attempts to recall
his memory's been faltering by degrees
it was nothing he nor his family foresaw

he turns to see a car with an open door
and found car keys in his pants' pocket
it seems he can remember a little more
he's electrified as a plugged in socket

There was a large note on the car's dash
with his name, address, cell, and phone
in case he was ever in an accident crash
all would know the facts will stand alone

Honey, I love you, really I do
just like a hog loves slop
your big stick-out ear I chew
what the heck is this glop?

I kiss your chops, pucker up
hold me tight in the pen
mud pies are the runners' cup
if we win, we'll run again.

Dear, I nestle near your nuzzle
smooch me all over my face
take me apart just like a puzzle
I've lost my dignity and grace.

But first we have a race to win
slather soil, don't dare foil
beat the pork out of your twin
let's make it worth the toil.

I can always tell you two apart
you say you wonder how?
I can look at your counterpart's
moon when he take a bow.

Yours is handsome, his only cute
Hammy, you are my choice
let's cuddle in our birthday suits
tell 'im to drink with the boys,

so we can be alone, you and I
take a bath in tub of mud pies.

My poor heart
flip flopped ...
thought I saw
my mother

a double-take
proved me wrong
but not before
color left my face

I felt faint, foolish,
she's been resting
in peace five years
I sighed relieved    
then smiled
remembered ...

Halloween horror grips the soul
that tries to flee the demon witch;
it's a trap set by a gargoyle droll
who's a lurker that digs the ditch        

to hold the corpse of a black raven,
slashed by Frankenstein's wife.
It was a delicacy she'd been cravin'
'fore Mr. F. faced uncertain strife.    

The spell was broken at midnight,
not 'fore blood colored moonlight.

Nights are lengthy,
days seem shortened
moonlight madness
gives way to sway
of misty morning,
dawn's early light

pure beauty ...
innocence intrigues
winter's woodland
wears her
white laced shawl,
snow dressed ...

unlikely, unusual
friends nuzzle

if only humans
could, would arrange
to solve the puzzles
of night and day

he wanted
  to know
    if it hurt

when I fell
  out of
    the sky

he saw
  stardust in
    my eyes

then said
  I was
     heaven
        sent

we danced in minefields
swam through ocean currents
wrestled with rapids,
sailed calmer seas
in our old vessels ...
yours gave out;
reluctantly I paddle on
until my final far horizon
comes into view, then ...
I will look for you

Amber ribbons
in a flaming sunset ...
I think of your eyes aglow,
heart aflame when you loved me        

we walked hand in hand
on blonde sandy shorelines as
persimmon suns faded        
into romantic nights,
memories evoked
whenever I see
mesmerizing  
amber ribbons

cherish the light, walk toward it
I'll hold your heart in the palm
of my hand, love you to the moon
and back ... take mine to you
let's enjoy the magic
of our togetherness
        y
           e
             t
dreams of you envelop me
you'll never know how much ...
if you leave you'll not know
the depths of my love ...
it's protection for my spirit
        b
           u
              t
I won't hurt you by revealing
what is buried deeply in the secret
recesses of my inner core
although I love you more
than I can say
        't
           i
              l
then I hope the mystique,
the magic of our togetherness
lasts for our lifetime
I don't want to live
without it, without you.

When garnet sunset
dances across a panorama
ribbons of fire aflame
add to the drama
majestic, splendid
as hot molten lava
then too soon concludes
the sun's samba

I hear empty rooms where children once played
I see empty corrogated boxes they pretended were cars, trains, boats
I feel the prickly pine needles of the tree they planted
I smell that same six foot tall Pine Tree fragrance and I smile
I taste, in memory, baby food breath when one of my babes kissed me
It is with humble pride I view all five, oldest and youngest, men,
          bookends to three women, my two sons and three daughters.

Freshly baked
  Italian bread aroma
    permeated Sunday mornings
      in my old familiar neighborhood
      we'd inhale the heavenly scent
    drawing in deeply as we briskly
  entered the shop to buy
      a steaming hot loaf




© Carmela M. Patterson, All rights reserved.

In love's
electricity
hearts dance
to a horizontal
Rhumba




© Carmela M. Patterson, All rights reserved.

How many are the years
I've wondered, wandered alone
with no one to call my own
no one to hold in the night
no one who could care
if I live or die
since you, my husband,
died after fifty years of
a good marriage

Who cares now ....

I miss you.

Silhouetted against an orange sunset
in expectation of eve's subset
Halloween night, black cats
with green eyes vie for bats

ink-of-night garbed witch flies
on a straw broom in the skies
she concocts her plan to broil a brew
a potion, a mighty how-do-you-do

to poison anyone who thwarts
take note of her nose warts
don't cross her or you will surely die
and she will **** if her plans go awry

It was the eve of a black obsidian night
full purple moon and stars shone bright
  the howl of one lone wolf filled frigid air
damp cold mist needed down outerwear.

The screaming banchee's breath vapor
was noxious green befitting the caper
  of scaring all children by his loud noise
of trick or treating little girls and boys.

A massive link ink wrought iron fence
surrounds eerie mansion in suspense
  Frankinstein pushes thru spider webs
while a monster exercises quadriceps.

A ghost wanders in Cemetery's grave
and a pumpkin avoided an autoclave
  the doors began to creak very loudly
a Raven and Owl sang quite proudly

Slick sleek ebony crows sit atop a roof
while another swoops, soars like a goof
  do listen, you can hear their shrill echo
tombstone-songs by mummy's gecko


© Carmela M. Patterson

an early morning yawn
with ribbons of purple and gold
present a dew drop dawn

As I find my way into your heart
it will be subtle lest you run, hide ...
good at keeping secrets ... I'll bide
my time ...  permit you to make
the first move  ... toward me
until our hearts beat as one;
it is a distinct ...