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Do you ever just smile
And catch yourself wondering
What caused it?
And then you remember
You were thinking about his smile
And the goofy way he chuckles
Right after you’ve said something clever
But he doesn’t want to admit it’s clever
And the way he fights a grin
When he’s thinking something coy
Right before he says it
Or just at the memory
Of all those countless times
He’s stopped by to say hello
Or maybe you’re remembering
That smirk he had
When he realized it was you…
I am haunted by the things that embarrass me
Every mistake, every misstep
Comes rushing out
As I lay in bed, trying to sleep
And I’m desperate to cry aloud
And I try to pretend
That I vacuum them away
Into my own Pandora’s box
But that’s the trouble—
It’s irresistible to open—
And I fight the memories as they flood forward
And I close my eyes and squirm—
How can I make them stop?
I can’t sleep for reliving every memory
Of things I wish I’d never done
The things that I question
Did I make a stupid choice
Or did he—
And I blush and I curl up
And I feel so alone
And I can’t forget those awful things
And I think it’s ruining me
Loved you when you were broke
Eased you when you were sore.
Existed through all the infliction
To make you an addiction.

Too solicitous to behold you
Well that’s the path I’ve travelled through.
Endured enough with utmost tolerance
That I Can ever take your absence.
Loved you when you were broke!!
That love which once made me feel comely like a petal.
Is now the same love , bruising me with its thorns.
That love!!
Sometimes beach roads remind me of a journey into another reality.
An entry way into spoken word of death becoming real.
Colorful tile when I was brought to my knees
A baptism in the ocean that I didn’t ask for but needed
Flying moths the Mayan people call “signs from traveling souls”
Sometimes this place reminds me of death
Other times I’m reminded of rebirth
 Feb 2019 Carl Webb II
JP
Heart Song
 Feb 2019 Carl Webb II
JP
She's big and she's strong
She's mostly right but sometimes wrong
She's got moves and she's got beats
She keeps the blood flowing from my head to my feet
She's pure as gold
And doesn't always do what she's told
She gives me life and works everyday
And when she stops, my life she'll take away
She's my heart
And has always been a work of art ♡
 Feb 2019 Carl Webb II
j
Turpentine
 Feb 2019 Carl Webb II
j
I don’t care how
or care what you do
to make it happen;
I just told you
make me shine
so slather me in turpentine.

I want the sun to shrink
and the world turn dark,
when she’ll no longer rise
after she rests her eyes
upon my fiery spark.

I want the moon to swoon
and raise the tides
when he looks for the sun,
but instead
it’s my beauty that he finds.

I want the stars to bow down
and shower me in gold
when I shine brighter
and reach higher
than the stars of old.

I want storms to make
the world stir
when I walk upon
their earth,
no matter what it’ll take.

I don’t care
if it kills me;
just answer my plea.
I just want, so badly,
to shine,
so slather me in turpentine.
tonight

I don’t want to sleep

it is ending

between us

this understanding

I can feel it

in the way

you paint me

white on white
I cannot help but compare people to plants.

We are born,
Blooming throughout our lives
We sow seeds and bear fruit.

Like trees,
We take root spreading far and wide
And yet we wither and die in the same soil

Even still,
The flower petals dance through the sky
And our greatest adventure continues.
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