And in the end,
It didn't matter,
How much I love you,
How much you love me,
Heck it didn't even matter how I love you,
Or how you love me,
You're fighting your battles,
I'm playing with my demons,
And it doesn't matter how much I want to throw it all away,
to hold you close,
You are an unyielding force,
I'm a relentless addict,
And in the end,
Nobody wins

There is only so much I can do from the outside,
Your life is yours alone, as much as I'd like to think we share it,
We don't

You smile and laugh, put on a show,
Sometimes I laugh along,
That's the only chance you won't let me go

These barricades and fences,
Put up around your heart,
I can see through them!
But can't tear them apart

In a bulletproof vest,
I'll fight with you
And one day, a long time away,
We will see this through

What should I tell you,
That I haven't already?

What I should I give you,
That you don't have already?

Guardian of my sanity,
I have lost everything to you,

What a great loss I've had,
For I've finally found you,

I have nothing left,
No abundance to offer you from,

I am but an empty pitcher,
I hope you will drink from

Stranger, aquaintance, friend, lover..
they all become the same person.

Maybe you could,
I've lived to see you break a promise once.

Lover,
friend.

You lied. blamed it on your remembrance, your faulty memory.
i have the truth in writing (the letters i finally tucked away)

Twice. I'm a fool.

Friend?
Aquaintance.

Embarrassed, my safety net is full of holes.

Acquaintance,
We were strangers when i met you,
seems to me that we have been ever since. Might as well be.

At one moment in time,
You loved me,
I could feel it,
For this lifetime,
That will be enough,
For me

*For you,
I wish the whole world in all its glory,
Basking under your sunshine

I'm thinking of you tonight,
And of how it didn't end quite right;
You'd become a part of me,
Meeting you was like a discovery,
You showed me parts of me
- disguised as parts of you,
And then you were me,
My own, before I knew

My love I called you right from the start,
Little did I know, your home wasn't my heart,
Your un-chosen abode it will always be,
And memories will always be home for me,
You said you would tell me when the fight was done,
And yet, it wasn't exactly you who told me you'd won,
Regardless, I was glad to know,
My baby's okay, even though he won't show,

Maybe okay is an overstatement,
But at least you're getting there,
There will never be a day, where I couldn't care,
And life will go on, sadly, as it must,
And you'll be okay,
I'll hope, I'll trust

Saw a picture of you today,
It's a working Saturday,
You're with others, where we used to work,
You were smiling in the picture,
It wasn't a specially good photo,
In fact, you looked sad and tired,
But,
You were smiling,
Putting on your game face I'd say,
And you looked glorious,
And I thought,
The world's a better place
'Cause you're in it,
'Cause you're smiling

Maybe these desperate attempts to prove my love,
To prove I'm a friend,
To prove all that is true,
Have led you to believe the opposite;

Maybe it needed to be effortless,
To let the effortless conversation flow,
To let the effortless comfort of silence be,
To let the effortless love bloom

To build a life to revolve around you,
To watch you tear it apart
Step...
by...
step.

And the sadness was so profound,
Such a part of my insides,
Such a weight over my chest,
That cutting off from the world wasn't an option,
But a necessity,
To keep this disease,
From spreading;
This unhealthy parasite of a feeling,
From eating up the people I loved
I'm sorry