Camz Kho

Camz Kho Jan 2014

You close the blinds on your window,
You turn away and watch, as the shadow of the day
Engulfs what was left of what you threw away.
Last chances, given and wasted,
Lie tattered and worn upon the floor.
You suffocate as the pain makes you forget
Whatever was left worth fighting for.
Your thoughts break the spirit of your soul
As you recall the sweetest goodbye ever given,
And the silence in the emptiness you once called a heart
Deafens and threatens to defeat your pretenses.
You look for solace in the ashes of a flame,
You look for warmth in the house of a home.
The dogs are barking at a new moon,
The cats are whistling a new tune,
Then you say, “Goodbye was the only way”,
And tell yourself all good things come to an end.
You say it would be good to go away,
But if nothing is left to make things change,
If there is nothing left to do but stay the same,
If promises made are made to be broken
Then it’s the same for you,
So you’ll just stay.

*Camz

Camz Kho Jan 2014

The Poem That was You

I wrote you a poem,
I wrote you into a poem,
I wrapped your name around every letter,
And engraved my heart upon the title.
I inked your eyes into the bark of a pine,
And your hair I turned into raven’s wings.
Your laugh was the rain cloud-spattered blue sky,
Then I molded your touch into the petals of a rose.
On the points of the brambles that adorned the meadow floor,
I hung your wittiness,
And your mind I carved into the antlers of a stag.
Then when I made night fall upon the pages
Where I wrote the poem that was you,
I made the mystery of the dark your presence,
And let the moonbeams become your smile.
Every star in the sky was made to be a sparkle in your eyes.
I wrote the weather to be as unpredictable as you,
And I rhymed your heart into the deepest recesses of the darkest cave,
Out of sight, out of reach.
I wrote you into a poem,
Where I buried all my unsaid feelings
Below the roots of the largest pine tree,
Beneath the earth that held the verses.

Camz Kho Jan 2014

On Loop

There goes that light again,
It’s a sparkle in your eyes again.
Fleeting and flashing, and attention-seeking.
There goes that light again,
It fades from your eyes again.
It makes me toss and turn, and wonder if it was there at all.
There goes that smile again,
It’s a ball of sunshine in the gloom again.
Bright and warm and full of mischief.
There goes that smile again,
It disappears so fast, the gloom quickly recovers.
Then you’re dark and sad and dangerous.
There are those hands again,
In my hair, on my waist, around my shoulders,
Giving me shivers, and butterflies, and making me hold on for dear life.
There are those hands again,
Clenched into fists, motioning for me to stay away.
Your moods swing back and forth so swiftly,
It’s wearying to keep up with the pendulum swing.
But I race to catch up nonetheless.
I have become the wave that clings to the shore.
So quickly pushed away then pulled back in.
There go those arms again,
They’re uncrossed this time.
Opening and welcoming and feeling like home.
And once again I am pulled back in to you.
You wrap yourself around me,
But I feel the doubt sink in.
It’s the calm before the storm again,
Soft and peaceful and reassuring.
But I stay guarded, prepared,
Because when you let go of me again,
Like you always do…
It will be the same story again,
And again… and again..

— The End —