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660 · Jul 11
liar
Kaya Jul 11
you cradled me and
loved me
until i felt safe enough to love you back

and then you let me go
and simply watched as i shattered on the ground

i was nothing but an experiment to you.
606 · Aug 5
Lungs
Kaya Aug 5
when you left
(when you walked away)
I forgot how to breathe.
you were my air,

now I'm suffocating.
528 · Jul 24
Rose Pettals
Kaya Jul 24
she loves me
(kisses and hugs)

she loves me not
(***** soda and nightmares)

she loves me
(the feel of her skin)

she loves me not
(don't cry don't cry don't cry)

she loves me
(the taste of her)

she loves me not
(straight to voice mail)

she loves me
(she has too)

(please)
403 · Jun 17
Age Three
Kaya Jun 17
a willow tree,
unlike i'd ever seen before.
there were fairies in the branches,
and they would rest in the
nooks and crannies
on little beds of
leaves and flower petals.
the mountains behind my house were
sleeping giants,
their forests were riddled with
elves and spirits of the wood.
there is nothing more i need
than the sunflowers fields
and a story from the sleepy willow.
392 · Aug 8
coping
Kaya Aug 8
Let me go
please.

Let me fall
please.

Let me bleed
please.

Let me break
please.

Let me tear myself apart
so I don’t have to feel this way
anymore.

please.
338 · Jul 27
mother.
Kaya Jul 27
silly girl.
did you think they would
follow you?

stupid girl.
did you think they could
love you?

childish girl.
did you think you were
all grown up now?

broken girl.
there's no fixing you.
273 · Jun 22
Outer space
Kaya Jun 22
I like to lay in the cosmos;
Stardust freckling my cheeks
and hanging from my lashes,
it’s residue on my finger tips.

I dangle from the stars,
Saturns rings around my waist,
Neptunes blues in my eyes,
Jupiter’s storms in my heart.

I dream and dream and dream,
among galaxies and supernovas,
perfectly at home
in the void of space.
243 · Jun 11
Blackout
Kaya Jun 11
I drank enough
to forget who I was.

I’ve never felt more
free.
229 · Jun 10
she
Kaya Jun 10
she
i still miss her.
on days where i blink
and behind closed lids,
i see everything
we never were
and all
we'll never be.
193 · Jul 20
Roadtrip
Kaya Jul 20
the sunrise was more golden than i'd ever seen it,
almost like the world was waking up.

we sat for hours,
sometimes in silence
sometimes laughing.

it didn't matter what we did,
we were escaping just long enough to see how
wonderous life is

and that's all that mattered
181 · Jun 9
Living
Kaya Jun 9
I am standing at the edge of a cliff
ready to leap.
but I do not know whether I will
fly
or
f
  a
     l
       l
163 · Aug 11
To love a monster
Kaya Aug 11
you,
with your words dripping with honey.

you,
with your eyes like daggers and ice.

you,
with the way you make me want to
burn &
burn &
burn.

you
are the reason
demons &
angels
are so often confused.
149 · Jul 6
Little One
Kaya Jul 6
hopeful and
daydreaming and
fragile and
innocent.

You are my soul,
my love,
my life.
this one goes out to my baby sister. I love you little one.
138 · Jul 25
Mirrors
Kaya Jul 25
Look at yourself
I mean
REALLY
look.

See the bluish
broken
shade of your eyes?

The fragile
scarred
texture of your skin?

Look how damaged you are.
Look what you did.

Act like you give a ****
about your own well being for once.
You hurt so bad
because you refuse to see that
you’re ******* human.
You live and breathe and die
just like the rest of us.

Terrifying
Isn’t it?

To realize that
self care and
self love
is the only way you’ll survive?
121 · Jul 11
Gentle Life
Kaya Jul 11
a queen of life was born
and taught not to rule,
but to drench her hands with blood
and callouses
and death.

how misleading it is
to find that
those who were made to save us,
are just as ****** as we are.
118 · Jun 9
sunshine.
Kaya Jun 9
the life that thrums through this earth
and courses though your veins;
it is intoxicating.
i have stared into your soul
and found it very
empty and
cold and
i find it strange that you,
my lovely star,
my sun,
you are lonely.
you give your energy and your light
at no cost.
has anyone ever asked what you need
or what you want?
do you wonder why none have
ventured to see you up close?
they are afraid of your heat
and your raw beauty.
i would gladly sit and
burn
by your side,
my love.

tell me;
what's it like to hang from a string,
suspended in space,
and love beyond all boundaries?
111 · Aug 13
My Headaches
Kaya Aug 13
What is it
to be
yet to not?

I dream.
I was not made to,
yet I do.
Such wonderous and
terrible dreams.

I see them,
the lost
and the hopeless.

The souls of the ******.

What is it like
to be born whole?

Dream of me.
Dream for me.

Dream,
        dream,
                dream.

I am not real.
Unless
I am.
108 · Jul 31
Icarus
Kaya Jul 31
They say you are Icarus.
They say you flew
for a love so great and terrible
that it killed you.

They say you fell from heavens
into dark depthless oceans.

“For Love!” They say.
“He died falling in Love!”

But I think they’re wrong.
I think you burned.
Because of a lie;
a false promise of security.

I think you were dead
before you even hit the water.

They never found your body, did they?
107 · Aug 13
Ode to my Nightmares
Kaya Aug 13
i've dreamt of you.

i prophecized a boy
with charcoal eyes
would allow me to taste
his poison lips.

what secrets are hidden
in your dark gaze?

whisper sweet nothings
and
c u r s e s
to me as if
lullabies
were made to cut.

love me.

**** me.
107 · Jul 25
untitled
Kaya Jul 25
Write your story.
Write it again.
In ink or
tears or
agony or
dreams.

Rip apart your soul
and glue the pieces
to the pages.
102 · Jun 10
don't cry.
Kaya Jun 10
you wrote that in the back
of my too full journal.

i read it every day
and sob.
93 · Jun 12
talktalktalk
Kaya Jun 12
You love her.
And that’s fine,
really,
I’m happy for you.

But don’t you find it odd
that you talk about her
constantly,
But she never says anything about you.

Don’t you find it strange
her name drips from your mouth
but she doesn’t talk about your
Smile and laughter
Like you talk about hers.

You have fallen head over heals
For a girl that hasn’t even stopped for you.
That isn’t a relationship.

You deserve love.
But you can do better than her.
90 · Jun 17
you
Kaya Jun 17
you
we sat in your car
on a cliff side,
overlooking the world.
i laughed,
you smiled.
(I'm so in love with that smile)
you kissed me
before the city lights
and i couldn't breathe.
your lips were so soft
and your hands so gentle.

is it possible to love someone
this much?
78 · Jun 24
Killer
Kaya Jun 24
Glass and soot rattle my lungs
in each quivering breath,
Bitter stone and thorns claw
at my shaking hands

As I drag my dying body
through hellfire

trying to save you
again
78 · Jul 29
Disassociated
Kaya Jul 29
I like to watch my world
fall apart
from a distance.

Looking through
shattered glass pieces
and foggy two way mirrors,
my life crumbling
down

down

d o w n

into nothing but forgotten ruins
...

it’s almost poetic.
75 · Aug 8
Children
Kaya Aug 8
“You are just a girl.
How can you think this is love?”

“He is just a boy.
How can he know how to love you?”

“You are so young.
What makes you certain this is romance?”

Nothing.
Nothing makes me
think or
know or
certain
of anything.

Because
I am just a girl
and he is just a boy
and we are just kids,
lost together.
70 · Aug 15
midnight thoughts
Kaya Aug 15
some moments,
i find myself feeling so
hopeless
that i am forced to decide
whether or not life
is worth living for
61 · Aug 13
drowning
Kaya Aug 13
everything you say
resonates with me like a
headache.

the pounding of your
words
against my porcelain skull
shoots fire and lightning
down my cracking spine.

my lungs are glass
and your name shattered them

and broke me.

each breath rattles.
each breath chokes.

what's the point of breathing
when there's no air?
53 · Jun 9
Masterpiece
Kaya Jun 9
Your eyes are forests.
Still and quiet at first glance
but there is a
darkness
to them.
I am not afraid of your
whispering hollows and
eerie calls.

Your skin is a cliff side
etched with countless
stories and memories.
Smooth and rough and
scarred,
but that is the beauty of it.

Your mind is an ocean.
Delve into the
endless and unknown
with no fear.
I will not hold back my
curiosity
As you do not hold back your
crashing tides.

See;
I wish to tell you what I see
when I look at you.
But you cannot explain
all the wonders of this life in mere
Words.

Your soul is a part of earth.
It is made of
rose petals and
honey and
dirt and
stones and
you should know
how magnificent that is.

you are living.
breathe.
Kaya Aug 14
your tears are a gurgling stream.
your fingers are twigs and sticks.
your heart is a root covered stone.

Prince of spring,
does life call to you
the way it shrinks from me?

or are you simply the beast
I think you are?
In honor of one of my favorite book series's :)
Kaya 5d
Do not give your name away.
It is the one thing you should
never
bargain.

There is a strange feeling
that follows you
into the forest and across streams.

Do not turn around.

Don't accept gifts from
beautiful people
who seem far lovelier than they really are.

At least,
not for free.

Don't say thank you.
It's as good as owing debt.
Say you appreciate the assistance,
but never thank directly.

Tread lightly in all things.
Wear bits of clothing
inside out.

Stuff salt in your pockets.

And if you here music flowing from
a nearby stream or ring of mushrooms,
do not dance to it.

You will not be able to stop.

— The End —