you were supposed to forget me.

you were supposed to smile and walk away
no tears in your eyes, no regret in your heart
you were supposed to ignore what we had
pretend it wasn't real, we weren't real.

you were supposed to move on, find a life
live it beautifully like you once had
you were supposed to dream of beginnings
not endings you couldn't change.

you were supposed to laugh at the right times
listen like time had frozen in that moment
you were supposed to find her, need her
more than you ever needed me.

you weren't supposed to look back.

if I was lost
would you search for me?

if I was cold
would you share your warmth?

if I was afraid
would you be the brave one?

if I gave up
would you keep believing?

i was just a star
lost in the sky
until you wished on me.

Rip it and out spills
the terror and cold chills
my heart isn't anchored
so leave me alone.

Shock flits and shakes up
my entire make up
i reached for some solace
but only found air.

Nights of pure heartache
are endless so i'll take
a breath of this sorrow
and exhale my song.

The morning is coming
but sleep is still running
from me and I can't seem
to catch it for long.

My hope is off floating
its layers recoating
so when it comes back
i can tear it again.

But i'll wish for dreams
and when all of it seems
like it's pressing too hard
i'll say softly "goodnight."

Emerald eyes glisten; I strain to see your soul.
'Tis forever been a mask, hiding is your role.
Listen...look! Pay attention, or you'll miss me
A ghost of before-life; floating aimlessly

Remember the shivers, up and down your spine?
When I told you, "I know this, I never miss a sign"
Smiles, tears; forced forever will be
If you don't know where to go, I can set you free

I know the void inside you, I'll fill it if I may
You've forever been see-through, fragile like clay
I'll break you! or I'll mend you; it's all in your choice
Let me out of this prison. I am your voice

For so long, our whispers
Held secrets never told
But one day, we ran out
Something in us grew old

Confusing as it may be
We both knew it was true
Dropping anchor in the past
Was not wise to do

We agreed "nothing's wrong"
Certain struggles were ignored
But if one thing could be said
From the shadows, silence roared

Stretching between us was
A gulf of emptiness
And the answer to the problem
Still, I cannot guess

crisscross
interlapping
wishes cost
neverlasting

stumble fall
vows are broken
blank white walls
silence spoken

can't deny
shapeless shadows
asking why
nobody knows

feeling cold
snap the framework
now i'm bold
dangers still lurk

empty stares
shout to smile
no one cares
turn the dial

switch the light
crash without me
stretch to height
slumberlessly

don't look back
filled with dread
aching heart but
rest's ahead

lost in time
thoughts explode
drifts in rhyme
what we sowed

reality's
the only option
present freeze
healing motion

wipe away
view the sunset
edges fray
rid the regret

fear exposed
not mistaken
my hopes rose
dreaming, taken

Waiting, wanting
knowing it's so far away
Crying, aching
smiling like it's all okay
Joking, laughing
just to cover up
Hiding, faking
almost out of luck

The truth is a lie
and no one is honest
It's too late to try
I'm just like the rest
I never was an option
though I liked to pretend
After all, in the long run
I'm only a friend

I was absent of a chance
though you've given her many
I'm not worthy of your glance
your choices are plenty
Our "moments" were a game
and you played it well
I'll never be the same
I'm still under your spell

Waiting, wanting
knowing it's so far away
Crying, aching
smiling like it's all okay
Joking, laughing
just to cover up
Hiding, faking
almost out of luck

I would sing you a song
But my heart's out of tune
Sore from all the playing with
Its melody's blue

But I've a lovely escape
Where I forget about you
It takes me a while, but
It's worth coming to

'Cuz when I'm there I can laugh
And show how I feel
No holding back
All my smiles are real

To remember the past
Is a fruitless affair
I'm erasing the memories
Content not to care

If your words make me cry
Or wish I were nothing
I'll just breathe, close my eyes
And find what makes me sing

maybe you were just a lesson I needed learning
time's child, grown too soon
but then, time rushes for no man
so perhaps you only lasted as long as you were meant to.

maybe you were a gift of hope
in a moment when I needed it most
someone to cling to, someone to treasure
but that hope wilted when the sun wouldn't shine.

maybe you were a fabrication of memories
gathered and sewn together carefully
a quilt of the past, too old-fashioned for the present
and after a while I couldn't keep you from unraveling.

maybe you were a daydream
floating around in my head, quiet and breathless
a perfect fantasy I'd escape to when I was lonely
but reality would always find its way back to me.

and maybe you were just you
the you I always forgot, or tried to forget
the you who would never return my feelings
but I risked loving you anyway.