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Calum Doherty Apr 2015
eli
you do not make me crave you. i look at you, and i do not feel a pull towards you in any way. you are attractive, but you are singular. you are simply a person and for some reason i can not gather up the energy to want you. you are a beautiful person, you are something solid and natural, and i wish that i wanted you. but i look at you, and all i feel is an interest. i want to know who you are without putting in the energy. please, give me something, some part of you, knowing that i will give you absolutely nothing in return. please, give yourself up to me. maybe i want you just so that i can have control over something, or maybe i want you just because i can have you. maybe i will gather an eli and a devin and a fitz and a gerrard and a  hunter until i have every letter and then maybe i will be content having collected every boy that i possibly could. eli please, give me something more. give me everything. i want everything that you could give me and you will get nothing, it will not be a fair trade and you will not be happy in the end but that is okay because i will be content with what i have gotten.
Calum Doherty Apr 2015
your eyes give me a sign. they open up and they seem to know. they pretend to know. they act like the know. they do not. i do not want them to know me. you do not know me. i am me and i will show you what i want you to know. you do not get to discover me. you do not get to see inside. i dont want you to be able to figure me out. this isnt fun. i dont like this. please, just keep your distance and i will give you what you need to know, i will supply your thirst with what i am willing to provide. i am not willing to show you something like this, like my apprehension towards anything new. i do not know and that bothers me. i wish i could know. i wish you could not. i wish i could see, and i wish you could not. please, take what i am giving you and nothing else. i am not giving you a look inside. i am not allowing you the right pieces, please, return them and i will give you something new. please, stop. dont try to look inside. close your eyes. dont look. i dont want you to see. please.
Calum Doherty Apr 2015
You ask me to stay, to be yours for as long as we can.
You ask me to be yours, just to end the battle and finally fall into each other's arms.
You ask me to call you beautiful, and I call you smart, funny, handsome, and beautiful.
You ask me to stay with you longer, and to make the decision about where the night will take us.
You ask me to stay, and I will. Maybe it's because I love you too, or maybe because you're electric and I'm water and I just want to feel the shock that you have to offer me.
I want to stay through the boring and the perfunctory because it's only natural to sink inside yourself sometimes, having nothing to offer the other person.
You ask me to stay and I am determined to keep you as long as I can. I have a thousand reasons to, but in the end it's just because you're you and I like that a whole lot.
M
Calum Doherty Apr 2015
Galileo is the dark hours, the time when I can explore him most. He is 7:30 when the sun is going down, showing me the secret underneath his first layer.

He is 9:30 when we are leaving dinner, forcing me to decide what to do for the next 2 hours and 30 minutes before curfew. This is when I begin to kiss him excessively (but still not enough).

He is 11:21, when we are laying together, trying to ignore the numbers on the clock and desperately praying to the heavens to just have a few more hours.

He is 12:07, when I realize that oh ****, I had to go home like 10 minutes ago. This is when I decide that I'm already late so we might as well keep going.

He is 12:49, when we finally fall asleep in different beds, already planning the next time to see each other. Where can I squeeze in those twenty minutes? When is the latest I can leave and still get home on time? When can I get him for as long as I need?

He is 5:50 the next day, when he wakes up and sends me a selfie of his tired face. This time is for him, when the day starts over and for when we begin the Life game again before we can make it stop again the next time I see him. When can I make the world stop with him? What's the longest I can get him to myself?

We are no clock and no time. Instead, he is a presence that I cannot overcome. Time will end, but his energy will not slow down for any clock.
M
Calum Doherty Mar 2015
You left a fingerprint on my computer, and it makes me think about the other places you have marked. Maybe there is some of you in my car and in my bedroom, leaving little memories everywhere you go. There is definitely some of you in my phone, where i try to collect as many pictures of you as posisble. But i know that most of you is inside my head, going on repeat when i think about Now and Then and When we did that and you said that...You are all over and it makes me want more fingerprints and photos and time. you are all over and i am loving it.
M
Calum Doherty Mar 2015
when he touches me, its like theres something underneath my skin that he is trying to get out. he is snatching apart my skin to get inside and find something. i dont know what he is looking for, i dont even know if he knows what he is looking for, but he still pulls apart my skin to search for it. every day he will pull just a little bit more, making my skin thinner and thinner, getting closer to the gooey center of what he desires. i can feel him getting closer, i can feel his fingertips dancing along the very first layer of it and i feel a sense of curiosity and a sense of relief. he has found something underneath my skin and he is showing it to me as well as discovering it for himself. each layer goes faster and faster until it is dripping down his arms and pooling in his palms. he has found it. he has found everything. my skin is gone, my layers are gone; he has found my soul and he is swimming in it.
Calum Doherty Mar 2015
You are floating in a bubble. There is nothing around you but the things that you absolutely need. You have water and vegetables and air and one ball of energy to keep you company. You have what you need and everything seems perfect, but there is something wrong. You are missing something. What is there that you need? You look around and take inventory, everything is there, so what could it be?

You discover that the ball of energy is only one type of energy. It is a green ball, but you need R E D. You need red energy, but all that is given to you is green. What the ****? Things are floating farther away. Things aren’t as easy to get to. You start craving that red energy, you need it to go on. You feel yourself suffocating without it.

And suddenly, everything that you need has been taken from you because all you thirst for is something that you can’t have: red, passionate, deep L O V E.
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