When I say goodbye to love.

I can see the sun
I can't feel it on my face
And my womb is cracking
Can't even keep it together on the outside
I'm not keeping it together on the outside.

Hopes and aspirations run dry
Sitting in the dark away from the light
Heads roll, fingers bleed, bodies slam
But nothing ever ******* changes.

You'd have to be alive
For blood to flow.
I'm cold.

Breaking shells
Alone in the light
Breaking shells
No end is in sight

I just want to go home.

There are hearts of gilt,
And there are hearts of sin
There are hearts that lose,
And there are hearts that win.
There are hearts of stone.

But if my heart was anything,
It'd be a cactus.

Prickly and unwelcoming with tight alien-green skin,
That never fails to swell to accommodate whatever grew inside unseen.
With love it'd bulge,
And it'd shrink in the absence of love.

(But with the right care it could bloom the most spectacular flowers.)

There are strong hearts,
But even strong hearts give in.
My heart is a cactus heart,
My heart could keep it all in.

Talking to you is God's gift
Because if I thought I had feelings I know now for sure
And when you say
You gotta go home
I hate it.

Because I don't like being alone
The music grows quiet and the food gets cold
And the night has nothing to hide anymore.
You were the reason I stayed up to see the moon.

Talk to you later, see you soon, say goodnight
But this time
I can't say goodbye.

I'm not sure why.

For Christmas
I would like a terrarium
So that in a small space where there is little to breathe and most die slowly and in pain
I shall make something beautiful contained within itself
And it shall never need to meet the outside world.

Nice to meet you
I think I've seen
You roaming the halls
Chewing your thumb
And muttering some Pink Floyd song

Nice to meet you
I think I've seen
You roaming the halls
Chewing your thumb
And muttering some Pink Floyd song