After all this time,
I didn't think,
It was possible to move on,
And in some ways it never was,
But somehow,
The weight has been lifted,

And I can breathe again,
Without despising the air in my lungs,
Without fearing words it precedes,
Without losing sight of hope.

I am free again,
To live without a pressure on my head,
To see a rope and not think neck,
To think neck and not feel it break.

And for this I know I have one thing to thank,
Without it my fingers would be pale and buried,
Not dancing across the keyboard in front of me,
Without it I would not be hearing the music,
Blasting through my headphones,
Without it I would have forgotten happiness completely.

The internet saved my life,
But more important are the people I met,
Through writing and pressing 'send',
The people who I will never forget,
I will remember to the end,
The people who no matter what,
I trust with my heart,
The people who shared every shot,
As I bled out my veins for art.

Thank you.

You are the parts of me I will never lose.

"The snow glows white on the mountain tonight"

It's so beautiful, majestic
Yet a darkness fills my soul
The miles and miles of white
Yet the black is taking control

"Not a footprint to be seen"

No one dares travel this path
That I've traveled for so long
No visitors or prying eyes
To tell me what's right or wrong

"It's a Kingdom of isolation"

There's no souls, no hearts
Nothing here for me to break
Surrounded by the starry night
But I'm doing this for their sake

"And it looks like I'm the Queen"

I control this place, on my own
In my mind and I'm happy alone
I'm safe and secure with not a soul
I'm destined forever, in this place I call home

"The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside"

My emotions rage, my anger I cannot restrain
The dimmed light inside, fades every day
Complete darkness may overcome the truth
And there just may not be any other way


"Couldn't keep it in, heaven knows I've tried"**

It's exploding, escaping from inside
This energy, this crazed mentality
I'm scared of what may come out of me
So, in this isolation is where I'll live my destiny

I'm sick of the fall
when I try to fly
I'm sick of the let-downs
and regular goodbyes

I'm sick of the lying
scheming and deceiving
sick of depression
illness and under-eating

I'm tired of living
in a misshapen society
I'm tired of myself
and my constant anxiety

I can't help but think
if I just slipped away
would anyone care
or ask me to stay?

For he says I'm his love
then leaves the next day
meets another dreadful hook-up
and presumes I'm okay

Well, I'm done with the deluding
I'm done with the cheating
I'm done with my heart
and I'm done with its beating.

there is a girl,
who won't give in.
you pollute her life,
with every lie and every sin.

this girl is strong,
courageous and willing.
she thinks she is tough,
but this is only the beginning.

there is a girl,
her smile so pure.
but innocence won't last,
and there's never a cure.

now this girl,
what does she do wrong?
maybe a cut on her wrist,
will prove she is strong?

there is a girl,
she can't stand any more.
she feels too weak,
her wrists are too sore.

there was a girl,
she had enough.
she didn't want to be strong,
she didn't want to be tough.

now this goes out to all the bullies.
you think you're clever, wise and loud?
well now she's dead,
do you feel proud?