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  Aug 31 calcium
When I'm ill
I call out to you, mom.
When I'm hurt,
I call out to you, mom.
When I'm scared,
I call out to you, mom.
When I'm in problem,
I call out to you, mom.
When in trouble
I call for you, mom
Even when I panic
I call for you.

You give me
unbelievable strength
in real and
even in memory
I know I'll be safe
when I'm with you
and you'll come
from anywhere
to save me
my hero.
  Aug 31 calcium
I miss the sound of typing on the Mac keyboard
I miss the serif font of the words I observe on the screen
I miss the fluidity of which the words flow out of my mind like seamless fountain water
I miss the inspiration from a deep love
I miss insomniac nights, with bright Apple lights
I miss creative expression
I miss thesaurus searches and RhymeZone
I miss lyrics from frank songs
I miss rhythm and blues background music
calcium Aug 31
I decided to take the slow lane
Wake up earlier,
Sleep earlier,
Spend less money

Spend more time with my family,
Pray every day,
Be thankful for the little things,
And slowly step back
to start again
calcium Jun 23
I experienced my worse year
The year I’ve always feared
The year I hoped to avoid

Now that I’ve experienced it
You may ask,
How was it?

It truly was the worse
One whole year of
All negativity

I honestly thought I would never reach
My worse year
I even had the worse thoughts
and lost sight of myself
I lost everything,
And gained nothing.

And just as there was a beginning to
My worse year
there was an ending to it as well

I faced my worse fears
I was kept in the dark
But along the way,
There was a spark of light

My worse year
Will now lead me to
My best years

And I know I will face
good and bad years
But just like I went through
My worse year,
These will also pass by me
I'm finally starting a new journey in my life
  Jan 15 calcium
lost my balance
lost my way
losing myself
at every break of day
calcium Jan 15
I sleep late
Wake up late
I make myself the same breakfast every morning
I binge watch for 2 hours
I go to my room and stay on my laptop for 2 hours
I get bored and snack on something
Go back to binge watching on my TV
Get distracted on my phone
Switch to the same apps over and over again
Complain to myself about my crippling depression and anxiety
Try not think about it by binge watching AGAIN
Mother comes home and we have dinner and chat about our day
Clean around the kitchen
Take a shower and get ready for bed
Toss and turn as I think about the time I am wasting in my life
Promise myself I'll change tomorrow
Next day comes
I repeat and repeat
The life of no motivation
calcium Jan 9
Mysterious but not a prince
To think I saw you as the pure one
I really was blinded by my illusions
But I always thought it was me
I was wrong,
It was you all along
You enjoyed torturing me
I was your puppet
I ended getting burn
when I said I wouldn't
You laughed as I cried
Was I nothing to you?
Why did you approach me that night?
You ruined everything since then
I won't dare
let you come my way anymore
I prefer to walk alone,
Than to walk with a
mysterious monster.
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