I just want you to know that before you came along I was fine-no, more than fine, good even. I was good. I had a future and I wasn't even looking for a boy but you just came into my life and you were so strong and you wrapped your tongue in mine and I was ******.
And I think of wine all the time, sweet as your sugar coated lips and burning in my throat and deep in the pit of my stomach and making me dizzy and crazy and making the **** lights spin again. And I remember when we made love the first time, and you brought the wine and there was sweat all over and pain and the crinkles on your forehead mapped out the way to my sanity, but I couldn't find it. Crinkled clothing and crinkled eyes and crinkled lives.
Time went by too fast for us, my love. We sped through life going 109 and when the red truck in front of us slammed on it's breaks we were destined to crash. Skidding over ice, skidding through fire. For weeks I thought of fire all the time. Burning so beautiful, shield from the cold, but too dangerous to get close to, too hot. And I've been third degreed. Ashes.
I just want you to know that even now the sound of your name makes my heart beat faster than the rain did on the roof of your car the night you made me cry the first time. But by now I've cried more than a thousand tears for you, and the ache in my heart is a constant pain that doesn't leave and I wish I was a blunt so you could breathe me in and still want me even more.
But most of all, I miss falling asleep in your arms.