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  Dec 2014 lotus lord
Nathan Squiers
Let's break all the tension with the pretense of my presence.
Yes, I'm insensitive--but there's no other incentive others can give--
And while I'm not sure I could prevent it, I swear to no god I'm inventive!

Yes,
My hatred is incessant--ever present--and it's what I hold most sacred.
I'm a naughty narcissist with a nasty list of wasted kisses,
And I won't say that I'll miss 'em, 'cuz I'm the type who never misses.

I'm a hopeless romantic with a new sense of Tantric hope,
It's the antics of a frantic mind, but I'm too calm to cope.
They say I'm a raving, violent--rarely silent--tyrant with a craving
for the obscene,
Though, while I'm mean, I'm rarely seen within a mob or in a scene.

I'll admit I've got a streak, but--if you'd stop to take a peek--
You'd see a Buddhist, not a nudist, who's less a demon than a geek.
I'm oblique and I'm obtuse (do these math puns work for you?) yet I'm rarely never right;
Get my angle? Catch my drift? I might thrash, but, man, I'm thrift!
Hold on shift: I'M SCREAMING NOW!!
Don't know why; don't have a cow!
Remember that? That 90's rap? Look at me then; that piece of crap!
Shot down! Torn up! Shut in! Turned out!
Lips are sealed; inside I'd shout,
'Bout just how bad I wanted out!
Enraged and crazed; cravin' razors; a victim hiding from all saviors!
Turned to the pen to brace for the knife,
Started writin' and saved my life.
It's funny to say my life got better the day I started a suicide letter...

But letters turned to words and those words became whole worlds,
And before my very eyes a whole legacy unfurled!
I was GOD--not just a slob--but a shaper of all things,
And the schemes that I'd been dreaming shifted into scribing,
And I never stopped since then; it's why I'm still alive!

So my insanity became vanity as calamity turned to amity.
Sheer pessimism became untamed narcissism,
But if the mind's a prison then consider me jail broken.
Outspoken, re-awoken; take a moment to let that soak in.
That a boy doubtful of tomorrow could ditch the sorrow,
And become an immortal--though immoral, not totally amoral.

So yea, I've got my faults; I'm a sensory assault,
And while I don't mean to offend I'm just a product of the ends.
Played with fire; I got burned.
Dared to aspire; I was turned.
So I inquire to you sires as I march out of the fires:
You've seen my darkness and know my story--beginning, middle, end--
My name is Nathan Squiers, do you wanna be my friend?
lotus lord Dec 2014
Let then go
For it will cause you more pain than before

You've have the good and bad time with them
Don't look back and regret it because you know you'd do anything to have it back

Its a part of life, if they come back then maybe its ment to be

You look back to your kids and tell your past of the lessons you have learned

They'll always be a part of you and you know that
Learn to love and forgive
lotus lord Dec 2014
todays day and age its all about the popularity and what you have
but why so you can fit in what so important about fitting in

from when we were little we where little we were told to be are selfs, not to be someone whos fake

so why is it that you have to be fake something your not to be popular
how i see it the people who stays who they are and never changes for anyone exsept for them self should be popular

they want look down one someone for doing the right thing, well i look up to that person

for they will go far in live and have a real life know what the real world is like
but for a person who is fake will get torn apart in the real world and they'll look back a see maybe they should have been them selfs and not fake
lotus lord Dec 2014
I'm tired
I'm sleepy
I dont want to go to school just to be laugh at
My parents wonder why I don't want to go to school but truth be told I can't stand to talk about it
I'm tired I'm sleepy
lotus lord Dec 2014
him
From the moment we met I know there was something about you that drawed me to you

You asked me out everyday and yet I stayed with a guy who I could not see it for only a few days of the year  

But after 3 months I finally gave you my number left him for you

We have had are ups and down and right now we a getting out of a down

We would hang out ever Sunday a day just for me it made me smile made me happy and soon summer came and we would spend Sundays and wensday together

And at the end of that summer I know what I saw and it was a diamond in the ruff

I fell in love with you and I still am you are my world
  Dec 2014 lotus lord
chainedwhore
To say that u hate you would be a huge lie
Truth is I never should have said goodbye

I know that u don't forgive me and would rather that I die
But the harsh reality is I wish I could still look you in the eye!!
If I knew what you meant to me when you were still here I never would have let u go because your the  one that I hold dear!!!

I'd give anythg to feel your touch...
Just wish I knew back then
*** now my words don't mean as much!!!
You know who this is to!!
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