Cait L Oct 4

i love it when you smile
it brightens up my day
i love it when you talk
i wish i could put your voice on replay
i love it when you tickle me
my entire being delighted by your touch
i love it when you're funny
no one else can make me laugh so much
i love it when you make me feel secure
at times when i think i won't survive
i love it when you breathe
cos that's whats keeping me alive.

Cait L Apr 16

she was crying every night
but her tears had a twist-
they weren't coming from her eyes
they were coming from her wrists

Cait L Mar 25

i was up all night thinking about him.
but he was up all night thinking about her.

Cait L Mar 19

The sky is blue today
But sometimes it’s pink
Sometimes it’s green
Sometimes it’s a colour that I’ve never seen
The sky is calming
It draws you in
Till your eyes roll over
Like the clouds in the wind
The sky is feeling
When you think you’ve stopped breathing
It gives life

Every so often,
The sky turns dark
And it starts to cry
You feel sad again
Your head filled with ‘why’s’
Your mind feels like a raging storm
Lightning striking you on and on
The sky is now bitter and cruel
It’s everywhere
It’s all over you
Consuming you

Don’t fret though,
Because the sky changes
It will brighten your life
And colour your days
And it can make you feel miserable
In millions of ways
The sky is intimidating
And yet so gentle

Even the sky is fine
But I’m not
I feel like I’m stuck
In my own thunderstorm
Like the rainclouds stick to me
Wherever I go
Those times where I just
Don’t know
When I just wish I could give up
And for everything to be done

My head swarming with dark thoughts;
Pointing at my head with a gun
I think, this is it
The end has begun;
But then I look at the sky

And it is so beautiful.

Cait L Feb 24

Why do you choose
To starve yourself
When you have all that you can eat?
It’s the only way for me to
Change my appearance
And be accepted into

Why do you care
About society
Why is it so important
To fit in?
Because now,
Appearance is all that matters
You’re judged by whether
You’re fat or thin
Or the way you dress
Or by the acne on your skin.

Why do you believe all those
Mean comments
And hateful remarks
About your weight?
Because they’re true,
Of course
Even I can tell
The mirror shows it all!
And the number on the weighing scale
A different story it does not tell.

Why do you want to ‘change’
So badly
When you are beautiful
Just the way you are?
Because no one cares what’s
On the inside
You’re only worth whatever
they can see
and they see my flaws
they see all my weakness
how can I hide when
I’m the biggest?
They don’t notice
My light that shines inside
Behind their sunglasses
That shade their eyes
With their selective sight
They scrutinise me
Down to my
Smallest imperfections
My imperfections are the reason
they throw so much hate at me
I am the ugly duckling
In a bevy of swans
So all I can do
Is try to change
And pray for my
Fairy godmother to finally come
To end all my sadness
And pain

Why don’t you
Appreciate yourself
For who you are?
Because i hate myself
For my disgusting looks
My flabby arms
My muffin top
My thunder thighs
From head to toe
Is ugliness
My ugliness
The ugliness
I was cursed with
My ugliness will never leave me
They said
I will always be fat and hated
I was the one born like this
It's all my fault

Why do you choose to think so negatively?
You are imperfect, yes
But that makes you special
It makes you beautiful
So please don’t hate yourself so
Don’t listen to the haters
I know it’s hard
But you are strong
If you have lasted this long
You will hold on
Accept yourself
For who you are
Because I promise you,
You are not ugly.

— The End —