i have picked you up

you let me.

it is one thing i can thank God for.

you are heavy, and i do not know where we are going
but
i made a promise
and i will keep that promise

it is us now
it is harder now
it is us now

we are young
we are young
we are young.

if you'll have me
i will bleed as an open sore

i will do my best to carry you
if you'll have me

i do not know all of you yet
but i want to

if you'll have me.

i hope i do not fail, for my sake and for yours.

i tell myself you're nothing that can be taken.
i have not made you up.
but i will pick you up
with my heavy, heavy arms,
and carry you,
as far as you'll have me.

i get angry
and try to block it out
but it won't stop
and it can't
it's all up to me

i need to let it go
but that's something awful
and everything's wrong
i can't change it

im an alcoholic scared of beer

i wish it were easier

i worship the gods
that bug me the most

its worthless to me
i have never had hope
until now
until you

i believed i was better on my own
but not now
not when there are people like you

if there is a weapon
to fight all gods untrue

it is us
honey
it is you

fate is not a matter of believing

it is a matter of what has happened
has happened

i've looked in movies
and books
and stories from the sky
is that me?
is that me?
i look and i look
searching and observing

i was looking in the wrong spot.

i want to love like they do in movies
i need love like the sun and the moon

but how can i do this
without burning like the stars

i want to love you
because i smile when you talk
and blush when you breathe
love me too

do not let me go

if i climb back to my mothers womb
will it fix all the pieces i broke into?

there is no thing like total depravity -
just a change
in how we feel gravity

there is nothing to prove
and nothing to **** for

do not do
what doesn't breathe life to you
i know that it hurts
to turn from bleeding

love isn't so much a force

love is the pain
the apathy
the hurt
and the weariness

that is healed when something comes around
to meet you where you are

if you are to fear
do not let it be that you are not enough
do not let it be that you are not loved
do not let it be that the fear will never stop

let it be that you are loved
and have loved
too much
let it be that your fear teaches you lessons that you learn
let it be that your fear will one day lessen the hold on your chest
let it be feared that
fear can not conquer you

we are loved
and forgiven
take care
go and come
in peace.

it will not be truly solved,
not now.
it is liberation.

they are loved,
so why not you,
Child of God?

we eat bread
we drink coffee
a hundred thousand times

read three hundred books
write two hundred less
we look at the tree outside our bedroom window
a hundred thousand times

a hundred thousand times
i will run
i will go back
i will run
i will go back
a hundred thousand times

eating bread and drinking coffee
one last time

read one last book
write until there is nothing left to say

a hundred thousand times

no matter the day
no matter the time
i will always shake.

in fear i will tremble as a willow tree
in strength i will roar as an earthquake

as an addict i will shake in withdraw
as a friend i will shake with laughter

in silence i will shake
in din i will shake
i will shake in darkness
i will shake in the light

i will shake near and far

in shaking i will move

i will never settle

i am chocolate
bitter
dark
produced of bad labor

you are coffee
bitter
dark
i melt in your hand

so;
love me
be my compliment
but do not hold me long

when did we decide
that watching and hearing were enough

that touching was just too cumbersome
and smelling was just too heavy

i believe we are scared of what does not happen in movies.

there are seven billion people here
millions of whom
have killed
and robbed
and stabbed
and lied
and spit
and cheated
and you hate you
why
seven billion people
and you hate the only person
who looks through your eyes
and is innocent when shot

my hands are just as if not less clean as yours
i see the holes in His hands
and i feel the cut on His left
and i feel Him

but i do not feel me
and these gates are heavy

i wish i could peel back your skin
your skull
and read what you write in your head
the thoughts about me
are the only one's i'd read
good or bad
lighthearted or ******
do you think about me

the boy who cried wolf
had no reason to lie

did he lie for the fun
or did the wolves run
just in time?

he flew too high
and the sun cast him down
but if he had flown any lower
the sea would have swallowed him up

in the walls of the house
under the porch.

made by a monster, it seems.

i can hear them crawling.
i hear them when i am asleep, i see them in my dreams.

their eight black boots and nine steel eyes
they torture what they fear, just as i do.

they smell my sin but have no noses.
God or devil sent i do not know.

they crawl they stare

Them and God know something I don't.