I'm
  Br
  o
       k
          en

It almost makes me sick
when I realize that
I had imagined you so many times
loving me
that when reality punched me in the face
with the brutally honest truth
that you couldn't care less about me
all the love I had given you
in my mind
felt pointless
and painful
and yet,
I've never stopped thinking about you.

Who could possibly love a girl like me?
Me.
I could love a girl like me.

There is nothing more
that I need
than the love
from a girl like me.

They ask me to speak from the heart
but even the heart cannot explain
the mixture of enjoyment and sorrow that it feels
all in the same moment

I will never apologize for who I am
the words I write
or the things I feel.

I think I am still bitter
over all of it.

I have declared self-enlightenment
from past heartaches and let downs.

Yet, I can't seem to let anything go.

I find the manipulation in people.
I search for the reasons not to trust.
I'm still trying to be alone,
though every atom inside of me,
clearly wants to be loved.

I hide myself
from guys like you
with your genuine eyes
and pretty words
I was warned about
your secret agendas

I am fearful of the monsters
that lurk behind
the type  of people
who can grab
a strangers hand so easily
and declare "love"
as though it does not
have a four-letter meaning

I hide myself away
from guys like you
by giving myself away
to guys like you
if I let you touch,
feel,
every part of my body
then it won't hurt as bad
when you stab me
in my chest
where my heart used to be.
I do not keep it there anymore
I've learned from guys like you

I prepared myself
the moment you set your sights
on me.

I know
to hurt you
will leave me
feeling guilty
but to love you
will leave me
feeling lonely

So
I have an escape plan
a bag packed
sitting in the back of my car

I'm ready to run at any moment
cause guys like you
never mean it