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atifaydinturanli Sep 2024
Waking up, I feel dread.
Strolling through, I wished I was not there.
But finally,
I arrived at my false sanctuary.
My chest, beating indifferently.

I look outside,
But I don't see.
As the ocean of my thoughts foam,
Light reflects on my eyes.
But I don't see.
I saw what awaits me:
Terror.

It should be an error,
My existence.
The cry of fear,
It is not so distant anymore.
The dawn must be close.

Anxiety, it's an old friend,
It doesn't leave me,
More loyal than ever.
Like a neverending fever...
Will it ever end?

I look outside.
I finally see,
My mind leaving me awhile.
A bitter smile,
Covers my face;
as apartments stand tall.
I realize the moment.
Why couldn't this be all?
I don't want to die.
atifaydinturanli Sep 2024
It is never the same,
When you know the cruelty.
It is never like the child before,
When you realize the impermanence.

Never again the same,
When a cloudburst in late spring,
doesn't yearn a late summer night.
When faces melt in the pool of memories,
but embalmed for what?

When purity of joy is ruined by experience,
The simplicities are damaged by learned intelligence,
When you realize the impermanence,
of anything.

It is never the same,
When you know the cruelty of time.
It is never like the child before,
When you realize the impermanence of life.
my first english poem
atifaydinturanli Dec 2024
We mourn and yearn.
That is all we can do—
while the time is preserving the state of unliving,
ending,
killing everyone and everything.
As the days went by mercilessly,
I suddenly felt what I never knew I could,
daydreaming about lying inside
a coffin perhaps carved from marble,
for evermore,
beneath my moonlit headstone
standing in the damp and somber night
hinting what I once was—
and that I will never return.
Faces of the past...
Makes you wonder...
in the bittersweet melody of nostalgia,
makes you ponder...
What meaning does it bear,
to remember?
To remember,
The joy of sharing laughter,
The warmth of being in company
of one another?
Tell me truly,
why do I remember,
The warmth and the bliss,
I once had felt with someone,
who is now gone,
Forever?
Was it always so easy?
For people to wither away,
fade away, into silhouettes:
photographs that whisper,
a long lost familiarity...
What I felt, looking at the bleak wall
Enclosing my pain, heartache and all
Was the wry and olden heap of sorrow
Being fed by the shapeless and odorless morrow
And the evergrowing storm within
atifaydinturanli Sep 2024
Loneliness,
is there when no one is,
when the only presence,
is another's absence.
Loneliness is,
when even the rain isn't there,
to remind you of the passage of time,
maybe to accompany you,
to listen,
to wash away the wounds and pain.
But it isn't when loneliness is,
not even the rain,
to blend in with your silent tears.
rain

— The End —