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 Jan 2015 Brynn Louise
Sam Ciel
Why is it that I hide?
This, I do not know.
But for reasons undecided,
my face I do not show.

I hide behind the words I write
More than the name I bear,
For what's a name but reference?
Something to be shared.

But despite minute importance
In exactly how I'm known,
My name is still another mask
Upon my false king's throne.

And people ask "Who are you?"
As if they want to know.
What they want is my name
Though a  name does not show.

A name does not reveal the truth
In one's identity
A name simply puts on display
A title for all to see.

A title I wear simply,
Though "title" sounds perverse,
For if I hide 'twixt fear and pride
Honor goes unrehearsed.

This isn't to say at all
That the truth I don't reveal.
It's exclusively the physical
I keep from you concealed.

You know me just as well
As you would an open book.
All you have to do to learn
Is simply take a look.

So ask again, "Who are you?"
I'll say, "You already know."
Through the tears I've shed and the words I've bled,
My honest self I've shown.
For those unaware, I write under a pseudonym. Sometimes I question whether or not I'm hiding behind it to separate the truth of my feelings from the reality of every day life.

I hope that's not the case.

Sometimes the false identity is shameful, as if I can't come to terms with my own problems. Other times the distance is exactly what helps me come to terms. It's a very delicate balance.

I find the title very fitting.

Keep writing,
-Sam Ciel.

©Sam Ciel
 Oct 2014 Brynn Louise
Kira Nerys
“We” are becoming a game

A game of Hide my feelings
And Seek your touch

A game of Memory
While you memorize my curves
I memorize the curves of your smile

A game of ring around the truth
and let the thought of being together fall right down
my cheek as I cry from your words of
Guess Who doesn't love you

“We” have become that Puzzle
With the pieces that all look the same
And I’m not sure if our pieces fit together

One of those puzzles with the pieces that look like they’ll fit
But you won’t know for sure till you finish
But you aren’t sure you want to try hard enough to find out

A game where you Chute me that look
And I start to climb the Ladder
Even though I know I’m gonna have to slide back down eventually

A game where I constantly think about the sweet Candy that is you
and Land right back into reality
Knowing you’ll never get the Clue
And I’ll be the one who is Sorry
Even though I should have known you were Trouble all along

I’m starting to learn that this is Life
And the War with myself isn’t worth it
It isn’t worth
feeling like the Paper
While you are the Scissors
when really we are both stuck under this Rock

We just keep calling for Red Rover
to send sanity right over our way
so we can finally figure out the Monopoly of
Forged seduction

I’ll just continue to Go Fishing for the words
to unlock our mystery
so we can finally Connect
our Four arms together

‘We” are becoming a game
Where we are constantly Tagging
each other to be the one to say It first

A game where feelings are Cooties
and we have to Circle our brains
to find the Spot
Where we find out if we even have a Shot

You’ll just keep making me Tick
While I try to find a way
to Tack a label
Toe how I feel

Until I realise this is just Child's Play
Everything is spiralling in a backward motion,
I never seem to see straight.

Eyes hidden behind clouds of profound and true devotion,
Wait for you to evaporate.
I'm not so sure
I believe in fairytales anymore
They're so far-fetched,
Finely etched
Into tombstones of color

My mother used to tell me
I'd be loved someday
But that could never be
I mean, just look at me

Sitting here
All alone
Constantly checking my phone
Knowing he didn't call
Knowing he never will
But wanting it so bad, it's almost real

Prince Charming took one look
At my face full of grief
And decided that was enough to leave

He found another girl,
I'm sure of it.
How could he not?
He's so full of it
Telling girls he's the only one
Their fairytale has finally begun

And they believe it too
Until it ends of course
He gets bored
And leaves
Or finds someone better
And leaves

Either way
Prince Charming ran away
And I'm left with
No hopes
No dreams
Not even fairytales
To put me to sleep.


m.c.c.
 Sep 2014 Brynn Louise
Tryst
Time and again
He was told

"Just rise above it"

And so
Time and again
He did

Going higher
Higher, and
Higher

Until one day, he reached the
Upper limits of his
Courage

And with still
No end in sight

*He fell
There was an army of ants in the plastic plants
So I poured light through a magnifying glass
And I created a fire on the artificial grass

They scurried and hurried
with flames on their backs
Like soldiers on a hopeless plain,
searching for invisible barracks

And I sighed as they died,
because we are all the same:
Scurrying and hurrying from invisible pain
Be Am
Is Are
Was Were Been

Have Has Had

Do Does Did

Can Could
Will Would
Shall Should

May Might Must
Words are ****.
They make me want to rip a pillow with my teeth
Or marinate in a sensuous heat.
Where you'll be, sitting there.
Waiting to kiss my spine and touch my hair.
Tell me regaling tales of what you think.
Of what is rational or obsolete.
Worlds like Suggestive, Sarcastic.
Forlorn
and Bombastic.
Makes my skin melt and heart palpitate.
I will no longer settle for those who are adequate.
I need substance. I need someone (you) to say.
That you're enamored and beg me to stay.
I want that learned passion that only we
could portray.
Vocabulary lists are almost as good as ****.

...almost.
The vessel of woes runs over
Overflowing and emptying itself
Leaving us a choice to fill it again
With fresh dreams and happiness
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