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Moni Oct 2018
let me see
the sun because
it's bright light
left my side
long before
i could notice
i used to seek attention for help, but i feel myself hiding it now
Moni Oct 2018
Searching for all the metaphors
Of a broken heart,
Yet there's nowhere i can start.
You're the only thing left
In my mind
That i can't even find
The right words to speak,
As the ink
Spills on my blank sheet
Of paper
I was watching the office and that somehow inspired this
Moni Oct 2018
I hear the silent sound
Of people who aren't around.
I feel everything,
Then nothing.
My soul is always shaking
From the outside to within.
I would rather be anything
But this
Moni Oct 2018
My demons all fight
Over the music in my soul.
Oh how i hate
This lack of control
Moni Oct 2018
I wish i could feel
Those dearly hated emotions
That kept me up for days.
The ones that broke me down
And put me through the haze
Of emptiness.
I want my life to go crumbling
Down on me like
Raindrops on a sunny day.
I crave destruction,
I crave self-hate,
I crave it as much as an alcoholic
Craves alcohol
Because I don't deserve to be fine.
I don't deserve happiness,
I want it all to go away.
The blade that left
More than figurative scars
Is so tempting,
Yet it doesn't feel the same.
I feel pathetic and no good.
I want that blade to hit my skin
And be self-destructive.
I want to be this way again,
But i don't.
I wish I could be normal
I hated being numb, self-destructive, and sad, yet it's the only thing i know. I feel like no matter what i do, i'll never be happy with myself
Moni Sep 2018
Look into my eyes.
Don't tell me you are fine.
I'd rather watch you break down and
Cry
Listen to you tell these ugly lies.

Let your words
Break into sobs
And let me watch as your once red tears
Turn clear.
Please tell me why you
Still do this to yourself.

Don't tell me what I want to hear.
Tell me why you break down.
Tell me what you feel
And the things you fear

Tell me how you got stuck
In this rut.
Let me listen
And don't think you're the burden
On my shoulder.

You should fear for youself
More than you do me.
You should be free
From these mosnters in your head.
But they keep dragging you down.

You need someone
But you keep running
Until you're all out of breath.
I'll try to help and try to understamd
But you'll just keep runing until your death
To my friend. I wish you could get better.
Moni Aug 2018
I don't know weather
I'm digging my grave
Or my past,
But I hope this feeling
Doesn't last forever
man, life really *****
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