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I can see
You are a change maker
I can see
That you bear the scars
I can see
That relationships don’t come easy
I can see  
That you reach for the stars

I can tell
You have great intentions
I can tell
That you fight for peace
I can feel
That you won’t give up hope
I can feel
That you long for release

Change maker
You are one in a million
Change maker
You find a way through the storm
Change maker
Reveal your true identity
Change maker
Open up a new dawn
21st March 2016
Sadness is a dark feeling
I don't know whether to consider myself depressed or just
well
sad.
It's like you've fallen into this deep, pitch black hole
And you can't get out
You don't want help getting out
You see the pessimistic side of everything
and you embrace it
It gets even darker
And the hole is eventually filled with the dirt others have poured in
And you accept it
It's you alone with our thoughts
Sometimes they won't shut up and your heart is racing and you shut yourself out from everyone and everything
"You are becoming the most negative person I know," she says
I wonder why
Other times it's completely silent and the sadness flows from your eyes and falls to your toes
And sometimes silence is violent
But the sadness becomes your addiction
-a.l.c.
It came to me as I walked out the door.

My heart, I probably forgot
on his doorstep.
Or in the pocket of his favourite sweatshirt,
or in the first strains of his voice,
singing the song of my heart,
for my heart.

What does it matter?
It's all just shards anyway.
Shards hurt.
They pierce your skin,
as they do mine.
But in me, they evoke a flood.
and in you,
a string broken,
and nought else.

It has been my sweetest downfall,
watching you tear at life.
Colliding with fire.
running headlong toward the plunge
Crashing with my walls,
beaten back by catastrophic emotion.
You sighed,
and walked
and watched.
All I had to do was break down,
and you'd be standing there.

The shards you did not pick up.
No.
The shards you swept away
under the languid carpet.
they stayed there,
blameless.
For it is the fall that caused the shards
and not the other way round.

"The shards will help you feel."
I said.
"No, the shards you can keep."
A sharp shake, 'no'
Maybe he does not want to remember
that perhaps a quiet word,
a secret smile
would have seen the shards intact where
glittering stones and fresh satin
could not.

What does it matter?
The silence isn't too loud.
The void isn't too full.
The cold isn't too harsh.
The tear isn't too sad.

What does it matter?
To you,
or
to the shards.
SERIOUSLY I am NOT heartbroken and whatnot ugh shush people.
When you realized
my walls couldn't be knocked down
you built a roof on them
and called it *home
You are reckless colour
and I'm the muted grey
backdrop to you riot.
I let you run wild
while you carry the world
on your tired back,
dripping paint on the
canvas of space and
time. You paint universes
in sorrow, stars in
exhaustion; you drown
oceans in skies and
raise mountains on
plains. You are wild
imagination and I'm
the steady flow of
words to keep you
solemn company. You
are the last dregs of
chaos, strong and pure,
and I am the smell of
an old room, always
there, forever constant,
forever lingering. You
are great joys sprinting
across the canvas and
I'm the borders that
you leave on the
windowsill. You are
violent song, trembling
tears; I am the quiet nod
of a great tree as it listens
to the whispering wind.
You are a million sparks
of power, behind a dam
of subtlety, and I am the
river, waiting for time to
pass. You are autumn, or
what it feels like to fall,
and I am the warm summer
with my joyous abandon.

You and I are forever in
balance; you observing me,
me writing you down.
The first in a series entitles "You and I"
Hopefully tolerable.
Thank you for reading this!
There was only supposed to be one casualty.
That’s how these kinds of things work, right?
A perpetrator, and a victim.
The thief doesn’t lose his wallet.
The killer isn’t struck by his own bullet.
But somehow when I reached out
From the depths of the ice-bound pit
I could find no escape from
And ground out the flame
You had been nurturing so faithfully
The flame you tried to use
To warm my frozen hands
Revive my deadened heart—
I saw you break
Felt you shatter
As I broke the foundation
And watched everything we built
Crumble
But I didn’t see the collateral damage.
It was a killing curse
Rebounding off a heart protected by a family’s love
Striking instead the more fragile of the two
Sending a starburst network of cracks
Radiating through an icy suit of armor.
I’ve climbed out of the pit since then
(I think)
And the frozen armor could not withstand
The sun’s embrace
Turns out the jagged fracture lines cut
Completely through the ice
And now at the slightest touch
My porcelain heart
Shatters
You mixed together
empty promises, white lies,
false hopes, and half truths.

© Matthew Harlovic
Love...
Love is home, above all else.
Love is the separation between what you held symbolic and what you now see as life itself.
Love is imperishable, yet poison exists.
Love is no hesitation, no doubt.
Love is drunk.
Love is always, regardless of how deeply buried.
Love is what feels morally right.
And love is content.
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