fresh starts creep like vines
layering the window sill
the day smells like rain

determination
warms skin and my hands create
awakening me

caught upon my lips
sweet tasting this love burns slow
on tip of my tongue

sunlight captures me
wrapping me in the morning
sleepy happiness

Bones ache exhaustion

Things pile up and I crack

Splinter knowing

There is no one there to catch me

I feel myself slipping

Piece by piece

And I would scream

I am drowning

If I thought someone was listening

hop, hop
two pigeons
exited the terminal
hopping up the stairs
step by step
we watch
from the escalators
as they make their way
to the downtown
without ruffling a feather

My anxiety
Is my religion
I wear my nerves
Around my neck
Some days
I wish I wasn’t
So committed
To this god
I wish I hadn’t
Spent so much time
Learning the rules
I want to be excommunicated
Discard my racing heartbeat
Peel away my bouts of depression
I want to join a support group
And share my cult stories
Where my fears kidnapped me
From my family and friends
Write a book about my survival
Tour the world
reciting past doctrines of my anxiety
But instead, I stretch myself
Along my bed
Arms open
And sink beneath the weight
Of my religion, my anxiety