I want to know what people see,
I'll never see myself clearly.
My brain changes and contorts my body,
I'll
**** in my stomach till I can't breathe,
Nothing but high waisted skinny jeans,
No tight shirts, dresses, or bikinis.

I'm
too wide in the waist
too broad in the shoulders
too chubby in the fingers
too full in the cheeks

And
I'll never see what people see
I'll never see what makes me, me.

i'd write your name in my skin
i'd hold my breath and never give in
you'd pick a fight just so you could win
i don't want to love you, i don't want to let you in
i'm malleable, you're manipulative.

i'd write your name in my flesh
you laugh at me and all your mess
you see everyone as breakable test
     (and you saw me as less)

icanfeeltheburnofeverykiss
andyourcheekburnsatrenchinmyche­st

i dropped everything, everyone, all for you
i thought i was blinded by light, but i was blinded by you
the center grew dark and i lost my way
if it were so soon, i'd crawl back on my knees
i'd forget what i had lost, i'd forget what i had seen

butnowi'mdrainedfromthedrug
andnowi'mclean

i want time to turn back
just a few hours
when your head was in my lap
or when you stood like a tower
and hit your head on the chandelier like light.

when you kiss me your hands roam
and sometimes i kiss with my teeth
because i’m smiling too hard
because i’m so **** happy.

i love it when you lean on me
i don’t mind my arm going numb
or even if you elbow me
as long as you’re laying all over me.

when you talk about leaving for boot camp
i can’t look at your face
my eyes get too watery
and i don’t want you to see me cry.

I don't hear Your voice like others say they do
I'm wandering around my life without a clue
It feels like I'm living my life without You.

Even when I pray, it's hard to pick the right thing to say
And sometimes I don't bother at the end of the day
Because I feel like You're just slipping away.

Have You abandoned me?
I followed You endlessly
I followed You blindly

Have You been ignoring me?
Can You not hear when I weep?
Are my prayers too hard to keep?

Have You abandoned us?
I think You've lost our trust,
     You've lost my trust.

Looks don't mean much to me
I am in love with your personality,
even if it sounds like a lie, it's not.
You couldn't think of specific reasons why you love me,
And I can't blame you, you were put on the spot.

          I love that toothy smile you always do
When you laugh and say, "I love you."
          To me, it all really means a lot.
I love how you always want to hold my hand,
          or how your foot is crooked when your stand.
When you leaned on me at the movies,
          and you cradled my hands, I've never felt so safe.

There will be days when the world is nothing but against you
There will be days when the current seems too rough
There will be days when you question all of what you knew
There will be days when you feel that you've had enough
There will be days when you feel as if you have no clue