I told her,"Cross your legs tightly, and start rocking back and forth. Be patient, it might take some time. Just, let it build up. Don't uncross'em and it will feel awesome. You should know yourself, what works best; rolling or rocking. Don't think about it, just relax. Use your muscles, the one(s) between your legs. Read in between the lines of everything thing I just said, then repeat it in your head, word-by-word, sign language on your lips. Your heart skips. Speeding up your heart's beat, note-to-self all over your sheets. Pace yourself, you can't cheat. First come, first serve; you can't beat. Just, listen to my voice, follow my lead. Take your time, no rush. Relax, match your breathing with mine. slow, down, take your time. Find your fingertip, with your tip, and grind. Pause, fast, forward, left, right; rewind.  Now, do all if that, one more time. But first, lick your fingertip, so your *******, rise and shine, glitterish. Your index, just slide, inside you appendix, cause I penned it.  Now, move your hips, like you are enjoying the ride. Here's a tip; curl your fingertip, like my tongue licked your upper lip; the thought alone should make you flip - ******* colored wet, that's my favorite. Just use your imagination; then go for it! If I was there, I would, make you, "Knock on Wood." Now do what Simon says, and you should be all good."  Then she just hung up the phone. So, I guess she was good.

I miss how you cheered me up in an instant. I would binge eat while playing Rift. I ate everything in sight while not playing well. You would motivate me to slow my eating to normal. You would tell me that if I won my battle you'd hug me and never let go. I got third place and I started crying. You reassured me that I was always a winner in your eyes. You told me stupid stories of alligators and snails in Paris , all to get my problems off my mind. You were the one I called after a nightmare or after anything. You answered no matter where you were or what time of day it was. You kept my letters. You told me that your life wouldn't be the same without me , your best friend. You told me "no one can replace you. I love you" and I still hold you to that. You're my best friend and I miss you. I miss our push up contests and our drunk texting and our hugs. Please come and cheer me up now.

You're gone and I crave you.

They all call me a ***.

I'm in love with you but I'm a wreck. I know I make things so difficult at times. But if you promise to be mine , I'll be yours forever.

I knew I really loved you when you stayed over for a whole day. When I got to see your handsome face before the sun rose. When I held your hand in front of everyone that tried to doubt us. When I got to be there when you rekindled a friendship. When you met my parents closest friend. When we went to the stores together. When you couldn't get the stupid purple bear from the claw machine.

The way you held me that day was perfect. When we walked to the store together it felt so right, like this was how I'm supposed to spend time with you. When I had you so turned on you were dying. When I grinded on you downstairs. There was so much ****** tension.

When you got to see how upset it makes me to see you go. I fell in love with the way you calmed me down. when you got to see me on the verge of tears and you just used this calming tone of voice. When you got to see me digging in the backyard. When you helped tear apart the furniture. When you helped build the pool. That's when I really felt it.

You sat there with my grandfather and figured out how to put together the filter. I kept staring at you and how handsome you looked with the sun kissing you. You had sweat beads on your forehead as you continued to talk. You caught my eyes and smiled at me and then continued building. I was amazed. Only one thought was running through my mind " I could get used to this". And not the fact that you did the hard work. I could get used to you and me. I could get used to you around my family. God, you looked so handsome with the sun beating down on you.  That's the moment when I knew I was in love. Whenever I doubt us , this moment makes everything better because I'm so sure that it's love.

I knew I loved you when you held me in the freezing pool in the dead of night. I knew I loved you when it felt normal to change clothes in front of you. I knew it when I held your hand going into your house. I knew it when you gave me a shirt of yours and I changed right in front of you. I knew it when you kissed me goodnight.

I love you.