I miss the sound of your voice,
And how you used to sleep our time away.
I miss not having a choice,
And I reminisce on the days that I didn’t have a say.
I fondly look back on your time with me,
And I thank you for all you’ve done.
It’s such a shame that I can finally see
That it’s not my fault that you took off on a run.
I miss your blue judgmental eyes,
And I miss crying myself to sleep,
Because I’d go to my room and realize
That I was in far too deep.
But you called yourself dad, and that’s what you are.
We don’t just share DNA.
We share such a bond, like when you almost crashed the car,
And I’ve loved you more and more since that day.

Love...
Your hand is still with me.
Trust...
I see why you cut me.
Mom
Pour me a hug please

I'm drunk... My tears won't stop coming!

I've done what most will do for fame

Look up!  Cause hell ain't the only thing,
It ain't the only thing that's not playing games.

What...
Your questions still tempt me
But..
My heart ain't the thing that speaks for me.
Trust..
Thank you for holding me
Love...
Build me where my dad can see.
Mom...
One day your hugs will be free.

I'm drunk...but tears are not my enemy...

I'm done! Cut me up and finish me..
I look up distracted by heavenly beings,
Distracted by Godly streams
There deep!
I diving  till I'm not living ...

Love..
Thank you for killing me

Dad
You've been good to me
But I feel like nothing
Because you made me nothing when I was your puppet, when you tried to live your life through me

Dad
You're an ex-marine
But I didn't know that they taught marines
How to call their 4 year old children "babies", when asking you curious questions, when you said to shut up

Dad
You've been a police officer for 20 years
But I didn't know they taught police officers
How to tell their 14 year old boys they had a "distorted view of reality"

Dad
I still remember when you threw mom against the closet door
She showed me the bruise on her breast that was as big as a softball
I remember the fights you guys had and how you kicked the wall and stormed off in your car

Dad
I was like 4 years old when this happened, I could barely see over the window sill in our living room
But I can still remember exactly how it looked when you backed out and sped down the street
"Where's oppa going?", I asked my korean mother... ...all she did was throw me down and beat my bottom...

Dad
I was a sensitive child and believe it or not
Even though you and mom tried your best ...you didn't prepare me
You didn't prepare me to handle things...

To handle the kids who would push me around because I was smaller
To handle the other kids who pushed me because my face and skin looked different
To handle every time kids asked me if I knew karate when I was an innocent little 5 year old
To handle being spit on by any one of those kids
To handle love and relationships because you didn't teach me what love really was

To be able to deal with problems in life without freaking out or blaming myself, like when you would throw me in the floor or spank me until I peed my pants...

To be able to love the girl I wanted to spend my life with because even though I decided that I wouldn't do the kinds of things you did...I've ever known in life is what not to do, and when I tried something new, they were only slight variations of everything you did and now she's not coming back

I've ****** up my life now and you're finally mellowing out...
I wish you'd done so 18 years ago

Or maybe not been around

I am a girl
six inches over five feet tall
I am bulimic
and sometimes depressed
I can't stand blood so i don't cut
I'm afraid of ***** and so much more
I'm not psychotic maybe a little weird
I love music and poetry
I love people if they love me back
I love my sister she's thirteen
I am me
and this
is
Who I am

12 am
Silly me, I caved in
And for the first time in months, I called you again
                                                  "Come meet me
                                                  at our favorite place."

Sitting down on the swing
Trying the understand the distance between
I see you walking closer to me
                                                  "I was wondering when
                                                  you'd call my phone."

I couldn't resist
I missed your sweet bliss
Leaning in, you stole a kiss
                                                  "We should leave
                                                  it's pretty cold."

I climb into your car
You hold onto my hand, yet seem so far
Those hands, so gracefully, strummed your guitar
                                                  "I was asleep when you called
                                                  I hope you know."

The way you said it didn't strike me as odd
A sarcastic manner, so I managed a nod
The way you tried to sound annoyed had seemed so flawed
                                                  "Where exactly are we going
                                                  on a night like this?"

You pull up a song
and start to sing along
turn it down a notch, then think for far to long
                                                  "An adventure my dear
                                                  is what tonight's all about."

Fast forward a bit
to when I'm biting my lip
where we're alone in your bed- your hands stroking my hip.
                                                  "I've missed the way
                                                  you loved me."

And now we're laying, you've drifted off to sleep
My thoughts have gotten far to deep
I steal a kiss upon your cheek.

I turn away and start to move to the other side of the bed
but even in your sleep your hands wrap tighter around me and pull me closer instead
and all that motion speaks for the words unsaid.

Whether it was the need in your embrace
or the look of longing on your face
loving you was always the worst chase.

She said, 'wait for me',
'I see',said I,
but it's not that easy for this premature kind of guy
I wonder why she stays or what she thinks I'll be.
perhaps she likes that wait and see
and wait for me kind of man that I am.

You know, I have a history of abandonment
Of people telling me
I'm not good enough

Of people leaving me
For something they deem better
Making me not good enough

My father left me
For drugs
And I don't feel good enough

My grades are slipping
I'm losing my feet
And I know I'm not good enough

But then there's her
This sweet girl
And she makes me feel treasured

There's this girl
This lovely girl
And I don't feel anxiety

I'm not scared anymore
I don't feel any pressure
I don't need to be good enough

Because to her,
I already am