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vision's hazy
don't know where to go
never have known
such faded distorted lines

im falling
into the pits
of my own
mind

i shriek
and i scream
i choke
and wheeze

the path is broken
hasn't it always been?
i am
truly lost

i am no longer me
i am only now
trapped
in another body

caged thoughts in
quite an
unfitting corpse
broken always.

my mind
is fading
i have become
a mindless drone

ensnared in
the emotion
of indifference

i am overcome with
the want to feel
something

it has always
been the same
endless cycle
continuous repetition

have i
become numb
to the capabilities
of true love?

my mind
breaks into
periods
of screaming ecstacy

i am breaking
i am screaming
as the sun approaches

i long for
a world
that i may be
free again
(b.d.s.)
It was my cousin's wedding reception,
And I wore some creamy lacey dress
That had to be approved of by my mother
Before I shoved it in a bulging duffel bag to endure the
Six hours of Dunkin Donuts bathroom stops
And that weird stop-and-go traffic that makes me
Feel like the color green.

As I stood at the brim of the dance floor,
Trying to ignore the half-drunk staggering relatives of mine,
I thought about whether it's
Polite to pry your eight inch
Torture-o-thon heels
From your swollen toes
Before anyone else bothers.

There was a boy on the other end of the disco lights,
A silhouette that I knew to be slightly more muscular than the last time I'd seen it.
Just about my age, or maybe eight months older if you had to ask him,
Which I had about thirteen years earlier
With some sand in the crotch of
My Gymboree bathing suit.

I tried my best not to look over.
The lights mostly blinded me,
But I still wished to glance at him to see how straight his teeth were and how his acne had cleared up
Because of
Neutrogena SkinID Plus
Or something.

I could tell that he was looking at me,
At the too short lacey dress
And my straight teeth
And my peachy skin
And I wanted so badly to peek over.

I wanted him to ask me to dance,
Please oh God ask me to dance.

(Of course he didn't.)
He was a shy kid, even at seventeen.
He didn't say a word to me all night,
Even though we'd gone to the beach together
Since I was in Huggies.
This actually happened last week.
No matter how hard we try
No matter how much we want it
Some stories just don't have a happy ending .
Strong emotions huddle into a space called heart
build up so dense are soon ripped apart
the heat drives them to expand too fast
but time dictates slow down they must.

the strong energy the explosion unleash
go on to create stars galaxies
that retreat from one another but oh what a fate
the final fallout is an unsteady state!
 May 2015 Emperor King Brett
A
12:40
 May 2015 Emperor King Brett
A
My Masochistic love,

You abandon me,
You kick me to the ground,
And than you drag me
I get up and still chase you and when I can't get up,
I crawl,
Till I bleed ..
In hopes that when I bleed, I rid you
But I don't,
Shamefully, I love the way you hurt me.
Masochistic- the enjoyment of what appears to be painful or tiresome
I want to talk about us being married one day, but I do not dare dream about that possibility of us being together forever because you are not of the same faith. And we should have never shared those kisses between the hour hands
Time ticking away
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