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14h · 30
The Falling Girl
Ruheen 14h
As they passed the
Windows
And turned to watch
The people that
Watched
The girls who fell
Fell without a sound
But the ones who
Stood
On the ledge
And were pushed
Fell like rain
...
Because
Everyone could hear them fall.
Inspired by the short story 'The Falling Girl' by Dino Buzatti.
It's really good.
I'm gonna write a part 2.
This is my 300th public poem. :)
4d · 125
Just Like Them
Ruheen 4d
I don't want to read their words
I don't want to feel their pain
I just want them to
See that I am
Just like them
I just skip past their words
I don't want to feel this way
But I just want to be
As good as they are
I want them to know
I feel what they feel
I want them to see
I want them to know
I'm just like them
They're just like me
But then why
Can't I
Be
Just
Like
Them?
Wrote this a while ago.
4d · 58
Bed Bugs
Ruheen 4d
Don't let the bed bugs bite...
Even though they're crawling
All over you.

Don't let the raindrops win...
Even though they're
Surrounding you.

Don't let the windows shine...
Even though they can
Always see you.

Don't let the bed bugs bite...
Because even when you're
Holding your pillow tight...

They still come and snuggle up by your side.
...figure it out. I'm going to sleep
Jun 25 · 157
isn't it strange?
Ruheen Jun 25
isn't it strange that everyone likes the words that i hate?
...
Jun 23 · 38
Throat
Ruheen Jun 23
your voice gets caught in your throat;
and it burns
burns
burns
cause the fire in your
words
needs to
escape
then you take in
the air
and the oxygen
is there
and it dies down
but the embers light up
again
so you
gulp
gulp
gulp
hoping to quench
your thirst
and the words
that hiss against
your teeth
make them rattle
and shake
but end up burning
your tongue
instead
oh no.
what can you do
but let them
blow you up?
cause the
right time
is the
wrong time
and the
wrong time
becomes the
right time
and everything
just
slips
away
as you
scream
the fire's gone;
the embers too
so why does it
feel like
you
still
need
to
Clear
Your
Throat?
...
Jun 11 · 54
High Note
Ruheen Jun 11
Why can't I hit the
High notes
Side note
Let me make you
My own
Rainbows
Low notes
Tell me something I don't
Know
Who goes
Your gold
My go
Give me silver
And no more
Let me take you to the
High road
Say no
Why can't I hit the
High note
Solo
So please don't
Let me go down under.
...
Jun 4 · 43
Humans
Ruheen Jun 4
Let me clear something up:
ALL HUMANS ARE PSYCHOS.

And you can't tell me otherwise
Because we are.
We weren't born this way,
We were made.

And yeah you may not act like it,
But let me tell a secret...
You've got it in you.

We all do.
We can all be bad.

We weren't born good or bad.
When we were born,
We were like clay.
Mouldable.

We were taught the differences between good and bad.

We were taught to be good.

But do we really know the difference?

Say a kind person is called 'good'.
That same person can hate someone.
That person can be bad.

Because being a bad person isn't just killing someone,
Or stealing, doing drugs.

A bad person has dark thoughts.

And you can't tell me you have never had such a thought before.

Because I know you have.

Therefore, all humans are technically bad.

We just don't consider ourselves to be
Because our definition of good and bad,
Isn't ours.

It's someone else's.

Our definitions are based on what we see around us.

People may be innocent...
But that doesn't mean that they're not bad.
They just haven't done anything...
Criminal.

Yet.
Am I standing up for people who do all of these horrible things? No. I'm really not. I'm not saying that doing bad things is okay.
I'm just saying that bad things will keep happening because that's what people are like.
As long as humans exist, this world will never truly be peaceful. Something will always be happening.
Then again. It's my opinion. It's how I see the world and the people in it.
If you see it differently, good for you.
But don't try and change my opinion.
I'll change it myself when I want to. When I see something that's worth me changing what I believe.
Jun 3 · 114
Stress
Ruheen Jun 3
That's what's gonna **** me,
Stress;
A little
Less;
The middle of a
Mess;
I should really stop saying
Yes;
'Cause that's what's gonna **** me,
And now I'm dead.
But let's
Keep this
To myself.
...exams.
May 30 · 312
Bite
Ruheen May 30
I don't bite...
Hell.
These days
I don't even bark.

No bite, no bark, nothing.

Being tired tires you.

Plus.

I got nothing to bite.
Exam week. Ugh.
May 22 · 172
Grey
Ruheen May 22
I put up pictures on my wall...
Black and white
Just like this
Life
But then I
Realized
That none of them
Were
Black and
White
Or the lonely
Type
Just
Shades of grey
Side by side
And then I
Realized
That even I
Look
Better
In
Grey.
Grey? Gray?
Honestly, I gave up on caring about the difference. It's a word. A colour between black and white. That's all I need to know.
May 15 · 137
Unchanged
Ruheen May 15
The wind changes directions.
The seasons change the weather.
The leaves change colours,
Even as they fall.
The clouds change shapes.
The sky changes stars
The rain changes the pressure
As it falls.
They all move
And change,
Their faces.
But the roots of a tree,
Remain
Unchanged.
...
May 11 · 58
Eternal Loneliness
Ruheen May 11
Even the Sun will die,
Not in a lifetime,
But sometime,
One day.
Even the Gods have cried,
For a long time
Sometime,
Long ago.
'Cause everything has faded away,
Our love, our hope, our fear
But some things just seem to stay
We are forever...
Forever gone.
We are eternal...
Eternally alone.
Everything good dissipates
Like colours in the wind,
But things that only cause us pain
Stay.
We are eternal.
We are alone.
We may die,
But our memories don't.

Eternal loneliness...
How can I bear with it?
...
May 10 · 85
Butterfly
Ruheen May 10
A butterfly is flying
But then it falls.
Because a butterfly
Can't fly for long
Without its wings,
Or is it its legs?
Its eyes.
Its colours.
Nevermind.
A butterfly is flying
But then it falls.
Because no one can fly
For long
If they're already
Gone.
Happy Mother's Day!
Apr 25 · 448
Thank You
Ruheen Apr 25
Thank you for giving me nothing
'Cause if you had given me everything
I would have to
Give you
Everything back
And we both know
I'm too lazy for that.

Thank you for leaving
'Cause if you had stayed
I would have to
Stay too
And we both know
I'm too restless for that.

Thank you for hating me
'Cause if you had loved me
I would have to
Love you
Back
And we both know
I'm too selfish for that.

Thank you for giving up
When you had the chance
'Cause if you had tried
I would have
Never realized
How crazy I am.
Yeah, I'm gone.
I don't think this is about a person. I mean, there isn't anyone that I would want to say this too. So I don't think it's about a person.
I don't know. Maybe it is. Maybe I just haven't realized it yet.
I don't know.
Apr 23 · 121
Gone With The Wind
Ruheen Apr 23
Gone with the wind.
My memories,
My feelings,
My heartache,
The headache,
Replaced,
With laughter,
Excitement.
No room for
Silence.
The confining
Spaces
That I
Always hated.
The sharpened
Anxiety
That left me
In ecstasy.
When I spoke
With sobriety,
The society
That watched me,
Left me in pieces,
For reasons
They will never
Explain.
It's changed.
How much?
How long?
Will it go back?
It never lasts,
Because the wind always comes back,
With more to give.
More than I asked.
And the wind will always return,
And it will bring
Back all the chains I earned.

Gone with the wind.

I'm trapped in the wind.
Because the wind will never stay gone.
A momentary burst of inspiration. I don't know.
Apr 20 · 140
A Story to Tell
Ruheen Apr 20
~

The bad parts of an experience are what make the best stories.
No one wants to hear you say 'I had a nice time. It was great.' And so on.
They don't want to hear the same thing over and over again.
They want a story no one else can tell them.
If all you experience is good things, you won't have a story to tell.


~
My teacher said this to me once. I agree.
Also, this is a kind of explanation for Underrated. It's why I think demons have a story to tell; why they're more interesting.
Apr 20 · 128
Rebel
Ruheen Apr 20
Today is the day I rebel
Against everything
I've ever known and felt

Today is the day I cut off
My feelings from my head
So they don't interfere

But maybe I wanna wait
Till tomorrow,
So I can say bye.
...
Apr 19 · 392
Ugh
Ruheen Apr 19
Ugh
I think I'm good at it,
And I am for a while,
But then I see a problem
And I just can't figure it out.
I don't know what to do.
So then I realize maybe
I'm not that good at it.
I'm not that smart maybe.
And then I wonder
Is it just me?
It is everyone?
Or am I just stupid?
Because I used to be good at it.
It used to be easy,
But now, I never know what to do.
It's so hard.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I hate Math.
Did I get you? I was talking about Math the entire time. :)
Apr 5 · 585
Disposable
Ruheen Apr 5
Castles are only walls
made to look pretty.
Kingdoms can only fall
because they aren't that pretty.
You treasure decorations
over things that
do their job.
Because
they are disposable
and beauty
is not.
...
Apr 5 · 91
so tired
Ruheen Apr 5
I've been so tired lately, so
please have mercy on me
I'm so tired of waiting
for something to happen
to me
or near me
just something
so I can
wake up again
and say all the bad things
I say to myself
it's the only way
I can feel
I've been so tired lately, so
I'm too tired to hate me.
Losing my mind over here. But the one thing that made me smile was my poem Underrated. It got selected!
Still going crazy, though.
I was going to post this a few days ago. Guess I forgot.
Mar 30 · 333
Loop
Ruheen Mar 30
People are staring

I'm not moving

Maybe that's why

I'm not moving

Cause they're staring

And they're staring

Cause I'm not moving

And I don't know why

We're stuck in this loop

No difference

With eyes that stare

All around me

People are pushing

Too much pressure

I'm still not moving

The loop continues

But now, I'm alone.
I don't know. I was already messed up. Quarantine's making it worse.
Mar 27 · 216
Hostage
Ruheen Mar 27
We're held
Hostage
In our own homes
In our own minds
And then we run
Thinking we're free
But that's just
A dream.
A hostage
I lost it,
And I don't know
How to fix it.
I just want to
Go to
Sleep
And never wake up.
I wrote a story, for my English class. Didn't think I'd like it. But then I read the last line. Still don't love it. I don't know why. But I'm getting there.
Same with this poem. Didn't like it until I wrote the last line.
Mar 22 · 385
Will of God
Ruheen Mar 22
Even the prettiest of flowers have to die.
It is, after all, the will of God.
Nature can try its hardest, but God seems adamant.
Nature will meet death.
It will die slowly,
Which seems the most painful.
Unfair, isn't it?
...If COVID-19 takes out the entire human population....then God only has Nature left. He'll get bored. :)
Mar 10 · 788
Deafening
Ruheen Mar 10
Crank up the volume,

So you can't hear a thing,
So nothing can get through,

And nothing can get out,

And you can't hear yourself,
And then you fall asleep.

Isn't that just the best thing,

That you could feel?
Wherever you are,

That peace and quiet?

Because when the music's loud
Your thoughts are silent.
...
Mar 10 · 580
CIRCLES
Ruheen Mar 10
I don't want to do anything
.
.
.
Because I can't see
Past the trees
That stand in my way

It's too dark
They're too tall
And everything looks the same

I'm going round in circles
And everyone keeps telling me it's worth it
I'm going round in circles
And I still don't believe it

I'm going round in circles
Nothing is changing
Everything is spinning
And it's still hurting

I'm going round in circles
I just wanna go straight
So I see the light in the tunnel
And I go towards it

I'm going round in circles
.
I just want to get somewhere
.
But I'm a little dizzy
.
So, instead, I'll just stay here
.
.
.
...
Mar 3 · 156
A Tired Girl's Heart
Ruheen Mar 3
You can take the heart out of the girl,
.
.
.
And you can help fix it.
Give it something
So that it has more energy.
So that it can feel more.
She can't feel with her head.
It's too direct.
Too predictable.
But she's too tired to fix things.
She just wants to sleep,
Before her mind overloads,
And there's nothing left.
She's tired of using her mind,
But she doesn't care.
So take it.
Take her heart,
She doesn't use it anyway.
Haven't done one of these in a while.
I liked this series.
Mar 2 · 242
Nothing At All
Ruheen Mar 2
An average king
A young boy
Stare in the mirror
Like cracked toys

Think about
Their next days
Their demise
Their fates

One remembering
One wishing
Both waiting
For nothing

He grew up
Wished to be strong
He grows old
Wished to be young

He sees it coming
But he doesn't prepare
Why be ready
For an average death

One remembering
One wishing
Both waiting
For nothing

Nothing at all.
Dying only feels like falling asleep, when you die in your sleep. You can't prepare for that.
Feb 21 · 111
Sacrifice
Ruheen Feb 21
That's nice
Please run
I'm not gonna lose
Anyone anymore
Cause I don't want
To die alone
I want someone
Next to me
On my death bed
It's selfish
I know
I'm a hypocrite
I'd give up anything
But I won't even live
I'm sorry
It's too much
One and now me
But I'm not even
Supposed to breathe
Six feet under
Dust
Or shadows
Clouds
Or shallows
You didn't ask me to
You didn't have to
I didn’t want
To bury you
So I'm going to let you
Bury me too

No one ever said sacrifice was easy to do
No sacrifice is ever a gift. Not in the long-run anyway.

This is for every book, movie, or tv show, that kills off a character, to save another. They sacrifice that character.

I hate it sometimes. Other times I laugh. Once I screamed. Twice I've cheered.
Feb 20 · 77
To Find Me
Ruheen Feb 20
To find me
I'm supposed to change
Myself
But I don't know why
I have to change
Or what I'm supposed to
Change into.

To find me
I have to start
Searching
For something
But I don't know
What I'm even
Looking for.

To find me
I need to
Understand
Who I am
And who I can be
Or who I
Will be.

I'll think about it more.
Tomorrow.
I'm too tired.
Today.
I'm sick, tired and sad, right now.
So tomorrow.
Feb 20 · 230
Rain - A Sonnet
Ruheen Feb 20
The rain is here, it's wet, please don't leave me.
It makes the world look dull, it light's up ours.
Thunder rumbles, it's cold, I need to breathe.
Sleepy, but free, I can stay up for hours.
It's too quiet, I want something better.
It rains all night, please let the clouds hang low,
Please let the trees dance, they will send letters.
Rain makes art, so does the sky, a faint glow.
It's real, but it looks fake, but I see the truth.
The sky is crying, the doors are creaking,
What about the pitter-patter on the roof?
We smile as it falls, the roof is leaking,
Now, but I don't care, I will fall asleep
To the sound and I will have soundless dreams
Wrote this a long time ago.
Feb 11 · 630
Closer Than Before
Ruheen Feb 11
I hate them,
'Cause sometimes
They drain me
Of all my
Energy.
Of all my
Loneliness,
Sadness,
Anxiety,
My worries.
I hate them,
'Cause sometimes
They take away
All of my
Friends.
Now that
We're all
Closer than before.
We really are.
It's a part of me.
I don't want people to take away something that's a part of me.
I hate it sometimes, but I also can't live without it.
Feb 8 · 59
Am I Okay?
Ruheen Feb 8
Am I okay?
You keep asking
I keep saying
The same thing

I don't know anymore

I'm spiralling
And then I'm calm
And then I don't know
Again

In a hurricane
Stuck in the middles
Everything's rushing
Around me
And I can't think about it

I'm spiralling
And then I can breathe again
But not for long
'Cause then I don't know again

I don't know anymore

Am I okay?
You keep asking
I keep saying
The same **** thing

So am I okay?
You tell me
How do I feel?
Because
You do it anyway.

Am I okay?
Are we okay?
Are any of us,
Ever okay?
Tell me now,
So I can practice
Not being okay.
Um...yeah...ok
Ruheen Feb 1
~

i sleep in the darkness
and i don't mean when i turn out the lights
and i can't see anything

i sleep in the darkness
i mean when i'm in my head
and its pitch black
and i can't see anything

i sleep in the darkness
and i don't mean when i turn out the lights
and bump into my bed
i mean when i'm in my head

i sleep in the darkness
i hear the voices
through the walls
throughs the doors
i hear them scream
even when there's nothing

i sleep in the darkness
i see the pitch-black curtains
wide open
but i can't see anything
cause its dark

i sleep in the darkness
but i probably shouldn't
'cause i'm afraid of the dark
and what lies within

i sleep in the darkness
i'm scared
but im not
yet.


~
I can't sleep with the light.
Jan 28 · 135
Picture Perfect
Ruheen Jan 28
Picture Perfect
Black and white
Ruin it
It's alright

I can make another one

Picture perfect
Colours bright
Ruin it
It's alright

I could take another shot

Picture perfect
Everything combined
Ruin it
It's alright

I'll do it again till I get it right
Because
One of these days
I'll get it right.

A perfect picture.
Showing
A slightly less
Perfect life.
This one ain't too sad.
Pictures showing war have won Pulitzers.
Funny how that works.
Jan 28 · 177
Run Away
Ruheen Jan 28
The started walking away
Before I even got there

They gave me their stuff
Because they wanted to be over there

I want to be there
But I can't be there

I don't know the way
They never told me

But even still, they're too far away

I can reach them
I know I can

But they'll run away
As far as they can

And I'll let them
I know I will

'Cause I run away
As far as I can

We will run away

In opposite directions

We will run away

Far, far away.
Told you. Been feeling kinda lonely these days.
Jan 28 · 211
It's All The Same
Ruheen Jan 28
I'm very good at being left out
Either that or
I'm just very good at shutting people out
Pushing them away
Till they're so far over the edge
And I can't pull them back
Either that or
They hide behind walls
So I can't see them or hear them
And I know it's my fault
I can't tell the difference
What matters is that it hurts
And I know
I know, I can do something
But I know
I know I'm too scared
Because I know
I know
Nothing will change
Left out
Or shut out
It's all the same.
You're gonna get a lot of sad poems for a bit.
Jan 28 · 272
Because
Ruheen Jan 28
I don't care enough about me
Because they don't care at all about me
Because I laugh too much when it hurts
And I cry too much when it doesn't
But they don't see it
Maybe because they don't want to see it
Because I'm too much to handle
Because they think I'm crazy
Just because.
...
Jan 18 · 64
Cause & Effect
Ruheen Jan 18
Water sticks to the sides.
A little push
And it falls.

Letters that go out at night.
A little slip
And it's gone.

Ropes that fray at the ends.
A little pull
And nothing.

Pencils that are too sharp.
A little pressure
And it breaks.

People that are close to the edge.
A little shove
And they disappear.
Makes sense. I think.
Jan 17 · 78
Comes and Goes
Ruheen Jan 17
Everything just comes and goes
Like lightning
But I can still hear the sounds
Like thunder

Everything just comes and goes
Like a butterfly
But I can still hear the sounds
Of its wings

Everything just comes and goes
Like a headache
But I can still hear the sound
Of the hammer in my head

I'm not crazy. Yet.
I'm not.
Jan 17 · 247
I'm Wasting Your Time
Ruheen Jan 17
Say goodbye to the night

And the words of goodbye

I'm not staying.

And I'm taking the night

So you can have the light

Stop waiting.

Just make it all right

I don't want to cry

I'll be praying.

Please stop wasting
Your time.
...
Jan 12 · 140
Scared to Sleep
Ruheen Jan 12
When I wake up after hours
I can't tell what I was dreaming
A taste in my mouth, so sour
'Cause all I remember is feelings

It's midnight
Dark outside
But the upside
Is the moonlight

But I'm awake
And I can't shake off the feeling
Of the pain
I felt when I was dreaming

It's midnight
But I won't go to sleep
Because I don't know
What I might feel

It's midnight
But I don't want to close my eyes.
When you're scared to sleep, but you have to do it anyway.
Ruheen Jan 4
They
Say too much
But do
Even less.
It's enough
Though.
To make
Me hate
Whatever
They do
But I know,
They hate
Whatever
They do
Too.
They
Mean everything
And everything
And more.
But they
Mean nothing
To me,
Even less
Than before.
Because they
Are sinking
In my eyes
They are drowning
Me
In a pool
As shallow
As their souls.
They.
Them.
Everyone else.
But me.
As well as a few other select people.
It's not really everyone else. Just mostly the people around me.
I honestly don't know. It's late. I'm tired.
Goodnight.
Jan 3 · 96
Slip and Slide
Ruheen Jan 3
Calm but confused,
Does that make any sense?
Frantic delusion,
Should that make me tense?

Would you be worried
If you got lost,
In a forest of
Rattled thoughts?

I'm walking straight
But I've already fallen twice
This is me in life;
A slip and slide.
Yep. I feel more confident now.
Jan 1 · 141
Facade
Ruheen Jan 1
To instil fear into others, as a way to make them show you respect,
Is being afraid you will not be respected for who or what you really are.
Second poem of 2020. Already hating every second.
So yeah.
Jan 1 · 74
Here We Go Again
Ruheen Jan 1
I know it won't get much better,
But at least it can't any worse,
Right?
2020 everybody.
Dec 2019 · 322
Intentions
Ruheen Dec 2019
If the road to hell is paved with good intentions,
Then what's the point of having them?

It's not like bad intentions are going to get you
A free, one-way ticket to heaven.

We have to do good deeds,
But easier said than done.

Bad leads to hell, and so does good.
Which means, most humans, if not all,
Are ending up there.

Lucifer and his demon friends
Must be having one hell of a party.
A very crowded one, too.
I just had a thought. And then I played around with it. Came up with this.
Yes, I know it means we can't just have the intentions to do something good, we must act upon that intention. But if you did something wrong even while having good intentions, that shouldn't make you a bad person.
This whole heaven and hell system is incredibly discriminating.
Dec 2019 · 140
Bygones
Ruheen Dec 2019
Let bygones be bygones
But when the blood is on your hands
You win some
You lose some
And then it goes wrong

Let bygones be bygones
Forget it even happened
But memories
And feelings
Don't fade away so easily

Let bygones be bygones
But when it goes wrong
It's your weight to bear
You will lose it all
Because life isn't fair.
You can forgive, never forget. It's a constant loop in your head. A reminder, to never make that same mistake again.
Dec 2019 · 122
Perfect? No.
Ruheen Dec 2019
I took the time
To get it right
Can't afford mistakes
Can't afford to play the game
Gotta be perfect
Can't rid of this need
To be perfect
It's like this drug
Pumping through my blood
Cover it up
No bruises
All hidden
Excuses
It's like this drug
In my blood
This need
I can't get rid of
To be perfect
I tried my best
It's not worth it
But they want it
And I want it too
So I'll do it
I'll be perfect

NOT!
Hell no.
Do I want it? Who doesn't? But can I live without it? Hell yes.
Dec 2019 · 75
Stalker
Ruheen Dec 2019
I could tell you to back off
But I'd rather
Watch you chase me around
For a little longer
My pride, my ego, my arrogance
All want to be flattered and fed
And buttered
And I can just watch from my bed -
My bedroom door
Or window
Wrapped up in blankets
Too hard to ignore
Your jokes and your riddles
Your mistakes in the middle
It's like I'm laughing
At nothing
Even though I don't feel the same
I don't your need your help
Cause you don't get it
No ones get it
My self-esteem needed a boost
And you were the boost for a while
When I say I don't need anyone
I mean it, I don't just smile
And walk away
I want to walk away from your disturbing stares
You don't need to stay
And watch me glare
At the people around me
At my life and my mistakes,
At flaws and my imperfections
At my stupid cliches
That's it
I don't want to be a cliche
So stop chasing me
My pride can take it
I don't want to hear from you
I don't want to see you
I needed you once
And now I don't need you
Sometimes I just need me
Not someone who wants me dead
Sometimes I just need me
Not a stalker stuck in my head
I have two stalkers: one in my head, the other in real life.
I can't tell which one's creepier.
Dec 2019 · 194
Jinx!
Ruheen Dec 2019
I don't wanna laugh too much
'Cause I don't wanna
Jinx what I have now

I don't wanna cry too much
'Cause I don't wanna
Jinx what I'll get then

I don't wanna do too much
'Cause I don't wanna
Run when it all ends

I don't wanna jinx it
'Cause I'm scared
That I'll jinx it
Meh.
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