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"I'm an open book"
She says

Written in
code.
I’ve never received a flower
Or even a rose
But I’m a guy
So it’s acceptable I suppose
No kisses
Or sweets
No treats
That signifies ones feelings for me
No token of ones love
But I have gotten
Disappointment
Watered with hate
Planted in betrayal
Fertilized with lies
And maintained by fakes
Roses are Red
But my roses are dead
And crumble beneath my feet
And after the sun had set and the kitten was sleeping, I’d lie awake dreaming of a me I could never be. I’d lie awake promising a change I would fail to make as the days went by - As I marked my calendar June 29. I lied awake hoping for a chance I would fail to take because somewhere along the way I lost sight of my strengths, I switched paths on who I really wanted to be. But one day I hope I lie awake at night only dreaming of beautiful sunflowers of yellow and sluggish greens. I hope one day I wake up in the morning greeted with warm tea and an overcasting shadow of soft pinks and purples in the sky. I hope one day it’s you and me instead of just me. Just me
Sunflowers of sluggish yellow and green.
 May 2018 Breanna Stockham
mari j
i am so small
compared to the mountains
i am so little
compared to the sea
i am so tiny
in comparison to the islands
and i am so large
compared to what i thought i would be
Step 1: Get out of bed
Step 2: Look in the mirror
Step 3: Practice your smile
Step 4: Eyedrops to hide the red eyes
Step 5: Conceal the dark circles
Step 6: Breathe
The curtains are almost up
Step 7: Lock down the pain
Step 8: Ignore the weight on your chest
Step 9: Silence the screams inside of your mind
Step 10: Choke down the sobs
Step 11: Ignore the stinging in your eyes
Step 12: Swallow past the tightness in your throat
You’ve put on this show a million times
Step 13: Don’t let them see
Times up. Curtains up. Camera rolling
You know how when you’re not ok but you try so hard to pretend you’re ok that it becomes a ritual
depression depression depression

Stop it.

Leave.

I is me and
you are you.
Seperate from identity
yet your lies root to my core.
I can't help but listen as
gravity gradually seems heavier
and
heavier.

You can feed on me
that's fine.
Distort my reality
and take my smile.
But you will never take my hope.

The endless source behind the
Truth
Of my soul.
You'll never cease the
I in me.

So form each woe,
but forever is my soul.
Endureth this universe.

Go ahead.

Take me.

depression depression depression
Little did she know
The sweet nothings he whispered
Were exactly, that
You are a novel
gathering dust on my shelf
but not because I don’t want to read
but because I’m afraid
to turn the page,
afraid of how you’ll end
You may
hold her,
Hug her,
Kiss her,
Smooch her,
Press her waist,
Even undress her,
You may touch
Her bare neck,
Bare Breast,
Bare thigh,
Bare back,
Bare body,
You may know
Everything about her,
But untill you know
her heart,
You know
nothing.

Ajay Amitabh Suman
All.Rights Reserved
All Rights Reserved
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