she said she was dead and took a bullet to her head
no one believed her because she had been crying wolf for far too long
the years that droned on and on, and she kept playing the same old song
eventually all care and warmth left
and she was left to fend for all of these monsters by herself instead
they never realized how much worse it had became
it's been five years she said, and i'm through trying to play this game

The entire time
I only wanted one thing
I now know it was just a spring fling
I close my eyes and all I see is distorted


I'm glad my feelings were never reported

If you're so broken, why don't you find the bottle opener, cupcake?
Why don't you lick the frosting off the bottom of the bowl, stoner?
When you say you're just pitiful, I see rain puddles drooling from the pockmarks of your cheeks.
I wish you'd realize that the sun isn't just shining out of my broken skin knuckles.

How sad it is to know that “Goodbye”
slips from my lips easier than any other
word in the dictionary.
How terrible it is to know that
a seven letter word,
etched with pain,
can slip so effortlessly through
raspberry colored lips.
They’ll ask me how I’m doing.
I’ll say “I’m surviving”.
But, they won’t understand that
“Goodbye” is carved into my
bones like the initials of lovers
on tree barks.
They will not understand
that the reason “Goodbye”
slips so easily from my lips
is because of a tainted childhood
that I’ve tried so hard to forget.
Maybe, just maybe, if I say it enough
it will lose all of its meaning.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
No.
Every goodbye pulls air out of my lungs
and forces a fist into my stomach.
Fire ignites in my chest and the bags
under my eyes darken.
It takes the color out of my face as if it was
never there.
While he sleeps perfectly still across town,
I will toss and turn.
Nightmares for every dream, darker bags
for every night I lay awake thinking
about the last “goodbye” to escape my
cracked lips.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
He is gone.

The internal pain
Has struck me again.
Turning me blue
Hating everything I do.
Taking me down
Hearing me drown.

But **** it,
I will never submit.